Author: Tim Yap

Sometimes I get caught in this feeling that I am a very sinful person and that I am unworthy to be in the presence of the Lord.  I think even a few times I’ve ended up holding my confession because I was too scared to go and also thought that the Lord is mad at me.  Oh my childish ways.

After receiving confession and attending mass, I was reminded in today’s gospel (Luke 15:1-10) especially in Luke 10 “Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

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Be vulnerable to the spirit.  There comes a point in our journey where we feel secure in our lives because of the graces that God has given us to overcome our trials and difficulties.  What happens when we begin to get anxious or have a panic attack?  Of course we freak out and think that something is wrong.  It could just be the Holy Spirit calling you again to bring you once again closer to the Lord to allow yourself to be immersed in whatever He wants from us.

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What is it that draws my attention?  At first when you think of suffering you actually want to avoid it but later on it grows on to you and you begin to accept it.  Have you ever longed to suffer with Christ so you can also make reparation to God for the conversion of sinners, and remind all to make sacrifices and do penance.  Do we too want to participate in the redemption of all of humanity through our own sacrifices and through our sufferings willingly accepted…  Why is it that with these thoughts, realities of this world disappear and a feeling of peace and joy hover over my heart?

I think I’m dreaming and over exaggerating right now.  The Lord plants these seeds but why?  I guess its to remind me of a mission, one that I have not experienced yet.

Lord whatever it is let it be done

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Yesterday’s reading can really summarize a purpose to our mission with our youth and ourselves.  Here it is once again…

1 Timothy 4: 12-16 Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I arrive, give attention to the public reading of scripture, to exhorting, to teaching.   Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you through prophecy with the laying on of hands by the council of elders.  Put these things into practice, devote yourself to them, so that all may see your progress.  Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; continue in these things, for in doing this you will save both yourself and your hearers.

How else do we be examples to others?  By living the example of Christ and continuing the mission he has set for us.  What a blessing it is to be a part of His great plans.  We’re so blessed to be in this community teaching us the faith and helping us practice this faith in which we journey in.   Everything we say and do must be a practice in which we also follow.

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You built a wall to what? To protect yourself from the zombie apocalypse only to find out they are smart enough get over the wall. Now you’re in trouble.

It’s crazy how you nervous you can get when you’re opening new doors in your life.  At first you hesitate because you might feel like there is nothing behind the door.  Doubt and fear run along in your head.  You start to pray asking the Lord for strength, courage, and clarity, most especially to be with you when you open this door.  Now that you’ve got your spiritual gainz, you’re ready to take the next step which is to open the door.  When you do, you begin to be overwhelmed with what’s inside. Now what do we do? I find that yeah, I build walls, because I become scared again. The evil one does not want you to be there and he tries his best to make you go back.  But I find after speaking to a few people especially who have been in this situation before the best idea is to keep going, to absorb everything and to do everything with a joyful heart.  Embrace your cross! It will take you all the way to the top!

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Today Immaculate Heart of Mary as Our Lady of Fatima was a pilgrim in my home.  It was brought by the Heralds of the Gospel. Not only I thought that it was cool, it is also my mom’s birthday.  So what a way for her to celebrate her day to the person she looks up to the most.

As we began, we first started with the background of Our Lady of Fatima and about conversion stories and how we have to look deeper beyond what we see in front of us.  The first message spoken was about how going to mass has or is becoming just cultural meaning do people know why they go to mass.  He pointed out that we as practicing Catholics go to mass because we are faithful to the Lord and seek to celebrate/witness/be healed.  If that isn’t a reason to go then what is? If we don’t know why we go to mass then its so easy to just stop going. You stop doing things because there is no reason to go.  Well if that’s the case then let’s put reason into our thoughts and understand why we go.  There are many souls who need conversion and how fitting of Our Lady (of whatever place she appeared) is our biggest help.

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Sometimes I might wonder why Simon of Cyrene still continued to help Jesus carry his cross during his passion. He just showed up to see what was going on and suddenly he was thrown into the situation. I’m sure he was surprised and upset that it had to be him out of all people.  Did his emotion rise because he was forced into it by the roman soldiers or maybe it was because he was afraid if he left they would hurt him as well.

We too sometimes get burdened or upset when we have to carry our cross.  I know I do.  At times I begin to feel heavy hearted when I there might be tasks given to me that I feel scared to do.  Even at times when someone asks me for help, I get selfish and might direct them to another person because I’m busy or worrying about my own things.  Simon of Cyrene took part in his little journey and face to face with our Lord he began to see that this man was no ordinary man.

It may be right that we carry our own crosses like our Lord but what we have is our Lord who will come to our rescue to carry our cross along side us.  He will journey with us until the end by giving us the grace to keep moving forward.  We will begin to walk and overcome what is hindering us from taking the next step.

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