Author: Candy

Can I live with you?

The best way to become models of Jesus is to live in the Holy Spirit. When we live in the Holy Spirit we do not just stay there and wait for the Spirit to work in us. The Holy Spirit is already given to us when we receive the sacraments – when we were baptized and confirmed. The Holy Spirit is already within us. It just maybe is dormant.

How do we do this? We surrender to it. We surrender to God. We offer ourselves to the Lord, giving up our worldly desires and making ourselves vulnerable to become a different person molded into a better version. The Holy Spirit can change us. The Holy Spirit will be the one leading our lives.

All we have to do is to pray and to love. We spend more time with the Lord so we become more familiar with His leading. We grab opportunities to love so we stretch our hearts and see the Lord in every person, that eventually we will be reminded of the Lord in everything see.

When we have the Holy Spirit, we fulfill what is written in Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” We ask what will be the purpose of the power? Power to do what? To offer ourselves to other people. To lay down our lives to other people in whatever race, color, faith denomination they are. In other words to be loving. To magnify Christ. To be Christ to other people.

I would like to compare my personal approach to the Holy Spirit as to one’s greatest dream. If I want to be the best in my field, say for example the best basketball player, if I follow what my coach says I will surely become the best basketball player. The coach has the power to make the best athlete. This is similar to o the Holy Spirit, He is telling us I will and I can make you a saint, do you want me to live in you?

Anointing and Obedience

Living as a fulltime pastoral worker calls for a different kind of openness and humility. No matter how long or how familiar is the task, it is still important to listen to other people especially our heads in the way we spend our time.

2 weeks ago a leader reminded me of my priorities when he learned about the other trips that I am supposed to do. He said that I might be overwhelmed with the load given that I am also preparing for the HOLD Conference. I interpreted that as them telling me that I am not being responsible enough in handling my priorities and that I was not thinking properly in my decisions.

However, after few days I realized that as a fulltime worker I cannot say that I decide how I will spend my time in service. Looking deeply at it, it boils down to the anointing of the community. I applied to be a fulltime worker of CFC because I believe that the Lord anointed this community to facilitate my calling as a missionary. This is not just towards the organization but to the leaders as well – it is the same anointing. Obedience then to our leaders is fulfilling the anointing of the Lord to our community.

 “Lord you hold our hearts and our future, continue to soften out hearts that it will be molded to your call. May we be able to fully submit to your anointing always in the posture of obedience.”

No Room

Many of us who came from the conference have experienced something different. In a couple of weeks after conference we experience the movement of the spirit stirring within us and making us soar high for the Lord. We ride with the spirit. We fly with the spirit.

As we soar high we see the greater picture of where we are in our lives. We see our relationships, our prayer time, our service, our dedication and commitment, our dreams, our convictions, our challenges, and even our weaknesses. Somehow we get to have a different understanding of ourselves, we see all the opportunities how we can be a better version if not already transforming into one.

The crucial part comes after. How will I change for the better? We go into our innermost self. We look at where we are tied down. My prayer is that in this search of that string that ties us to our old and sinful ways, may we not get lost, may we not enjoy the search too much that we’ll lose focus on what we’re supposed to do.

Our fight with the evil one is not just getting over temptation but it is cutting ties with the devil and all its manifestations and forms.  Not by our own might but with the Holy Spirit, we expunge any trace of the evil one. No room for the devil.

 

 

 

Physical Touch

I had a differnt reflection on the gospel the other day about St. Thomas. He is the apostle who did not believe the others when they told him that the Lord showed himself to them. He said, “”Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe.”  Eight days later Jesus showed himself to them; He showed the print of the nails on His hands to Thomas and even asked him to touch the mark of the nails and His pierced side. Then he believed.

Instead of thinking of the doubt and wavering faith of Thomas, the Lord led me to a different angle of the story. I see how sweet and personal Jesus is to His people. I think in order for Thomas to believe he has to see it, he has to touch it. He may be one of those who felt abandoned because Jesus died. Just when he gave everything up for the Lord, he felt betrayed because Jesus is dead and the best way to convince him that the Lord did not abandon him is for him to see and touch Jesus, for Jesus to come face to face with him. In other words Thomas’ love language is physical touch/ physical presence.

The Lord will reveal himself to us in ways that we want to be loved. He will meet us where we want to be met. When Thomas expressed that he wants to see and touch Jesus, Jesus revealed Himself to him and let him touch His marks. He met Thomas in a situation where with the rest of the apostles, he confessed and made his acknowledgement to God. Most of us know our love language  let us use this not just to understand and serve each other but for us to know more, love more and serve Him more. The Lord is sweet and personal to us too.

 

Choose your Battle

After several months of preparing for the conference, I have gone through a lot of challenges and stressful situations. One of which for 2 weeks now, is that 4 of my scheduled one on ones have been postponed twice already. Majority of it is because a lot of things happened on their end which are not in their own hands or something comes up with my schedule. Because of the postponements, these are carried over to the next week which makes my schedule so filled up. On the other hand I still continue to go to my personal adoration time. Recently, it was hard for me to hear the Lord. No matter how long I spend there, there is an estrange feeling.

I have been figuring out my schedule for the week and searching for the times when I can rest and release the stress (either doing something physical, sports or watching shows that can temporarily refresh my mind and feelings). I told myself maybe i should shorten my adoration time anyway I am not doing or getting anything from it so I can do more “recreational” activities.

Few questions crossed my mine; Is it really worth my time and effort to be stressed out by the hectic schedule? Do i have a choice? Can i just rule out adoration time anyway I am already serving the Lord? These questions were so loud.

I have to learn to see which is more essential and make that a priority. If there’s anything else that I should be stressed out, it is the quality of time that I give to the Lord. It is to prioritize my relationship of the Lord. The battle I choose to fight is my relationship with the Lord above all else.

 

 

Candy

Philippians 1:29

Bonuses

My first leg of Alberta Mission is already done. On top of the service aspect victories, the Lord gave me a lot of bonuses too. I had a lot of other highlights at Fort McMurray Mission.

  • My flight to from Vancouver had a 2hr lay-over at Calgary. While I was waiting for my next flight I met a lady who I asked me to keep an eye on my stuff as I had to go to the washroom. I came back after 15mins which is a long time considering that it was just next to our gate. She told me that she was worried something happened to me coz it took longer. At the back of my mind I felt glad because there are actually people who care. I got RAKed by that simple gesture. As much as I want others to see Christ in me, in that gesture I saw Christ in her.
  • In the plane to Fort McMurray, another lady was seated beside me. She asked me if I’m visiting my family at Fort McMurray, I told them I am not and that I am there for work. To cut the story short, I end up telling her that I am a missionary and that I am Catholic. She had a huge smile on her face and admitted that she is also Catholic. We can never be too shy or too embarrassed to admit that we are Catholic. We cannot remain hidden. Some people are actually waiting for us to talk about Christ first and they have a lot more stories to tell and intense stories.
  • I got to watch another Korean movie. Apparently a lot of the SFCs and even the CCs there are into it. I watched “More than Blue” and it is one of the most heartbreaking movies I’ve ever watched. I realized that, that movie even if it was a tragic love story, it portrayed how love is selfless and not possessive.
  • It was my first time to participate in bottle drive fundraising and to actually sort the bottles at the bottle depot. I did not know that we can earn that much and that there are a lot more people who go to the bottle depot not for fundraising but it’s just part of their routine in the house. There are a lot of people wasting money, a lot of the milk jugs we got still have at least enough to fill a glass. I thought sorting the bottle is already messy and gross, until I saw the people behind the counter who are working 8hrs everyday there. They have to bear the stinky smell and messy place to earn. When we need it we bear the hardships. How about seeing this as a sacrifice that our parents or siblings did so they can make us happy. What about me? What did I sacrifices recently for my loved ones?
  • The 10hr bus ride from Fort McMurray to Calgary was also an experience. That was my first time to travel that long by myself in Canada. I tried to sleep but every 2hrs we have a stop-over and almost in all occasions we were asked to vacate the bus. As this process goes on an unwritten agreement is established here. I found myself accountable to my seatmate. I want to make sure that she is there before the bus leaves. She may not know that I did those but on the fourth stop, she said “thank you” to me. I did not know it was that obvious. Is this a creepy gesture or gesture of concern. When we want others to see Jesus in us, we cannot just be ourselves. We have to deliberately let Jesus consume our lives so He will just radiate in us naturally. It is intentional and it is desired. 

Quality Time

I was talking to one sister and she made a catchy comment. She said that it is important that we let other people feel special. We treat them nicely, we are extra kind to them and when we are with them we give our full attention to them. We give them the best quality of our time to them.

After I had my one-on-one with this sister, I went home happy. I can personally say that it was a quality time. Because of the sharing, I know I have gained inspiration and another encounter with the Lord. I felt good about it that I was able to share myself especially when the sister said that she was thankful and was blessed by it.

The next day I went to adoration, as I was preparing myself on the way there I thought of the things already that I am telling the Lord. While I was inside the room, the Lord is there. I told Him everything I have thought of and when I was done, I just waited there and sat still. I just gazed at the magnificence of Who is in front of me. Suddenly in the silence and peace of the moment the Lord asked me, “Candy is this really the best quality of your time?”

I was speechless, I didn’t know how to answer it. All I know for sure is that the Lord has given me the best quality of His time at that very moment. Further on, He holds time. Time is in his hands, He is constantly there anytime anywhere. Just when I told myself that I gave a quality time to the sister I had one-on-ones with and was even about to tell myself again after the adoration, the Lord reminded me that I was able to share quality time because He first gave His best time to me.

 

“Lord You are the beginning and the end. You see my past, my present and my future. Teach me to value the time you have given me that I may always share it to other people; teach me to be the best steward of Your time.”