Author: Hannah Marie Roca

The sun is bright. You feel its rays slowly grazing your face. The birds are singing. You look ahead, into the horizon…you look down, your right foot hits the pavement, then your left foot, then your right, and then left, your right, your left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right…

We’ve had beautiful weather this past week in Montreal. So I was compelled to run outside almost everyday. I’m no runner. But I was focused. So I did run every day. I ran…but every time I ran there was a painful pull on my hamstring…but as I looked up and continued to run I no longer felt the pain. I didn’t want to stop.

The Lord thought otherwise…

I only realized it on Saturday what God was trying to hint at me.
This was the day I did not run.
I wasn’t able to run because I went to Akwesasne with two other MV’s and CFC’s from Montreal.
We spent two hours siting in a car going there, we spent, an hour sitting at mass,
we spent another hour sitting and discussing with the youth about our upcoming events, and we spent another two hours driving back to Montreal.
I was sitting, I wasn’t running.

God gave me a sign.

He literally gave me a sign.
As we reached Akwesasne, I was hit by a large sign that I usually see on a daily basis, but never really noticed it as much…it was bright and red and it said:

Testa’n.

It was a stop sign in Mohawk.
I looked at it and I smiled.
Also because the Tito driving the car kept saying it every time we got to the sign (haha). We were heading to the church for Mass, and every time the Tito said “Testa’n!” I felt God repeatedly reminding me to ‘stop’. Most importantly the Lord was preparing my heart to stop everything before Him.

Then I flashed back to that moment I was running.
As I ran I felt that sharp pain in my hamstring, it diverted my attention to my leg, just like how that stop sign caught my attention and allowed me to stop.
He was calling me to rest and to look up.

I know that this upcoming month and half is going to be a busy and hectic one, with RYC prep, RYC, summer school, work, and a whole bunch of fun events and challenges…it’s easy to just go with the motions, going from one thing to another, like running from one leg to another. I am reminded that there is more to life than focusing on the motions,”right leg, left leg” but what we need to do is to pay close attention to the signs that God is trying to reveal to us. They do not need to be supernatural signs…but He reveals to us signs in our daily lives, whatever it may be.

And so I continue running…left, right, left, right, left, right…But this time I acknowledge the pain in my hamstring. I look up. Stop.
And all I see is the horizon.

You feel light, weightless.
Your eyes are shut; each inhalation is a rejoice in oxygen.
Each exhalation is a release of stress; a release of the suffocating carbon-dioxide.

With each breath, you sense the feeling of getting lighter and lighter.
Your mind slowly clears away from any thought, any feeling, any worries.
You look within and your heart is smiling; you are at peace.
Your eyes slowly open. Your gaze is soft.
You open your eyes and look down.
You see your body,
eyes closed,
sitting in your room in a cross-legged position.
You are no longer in your body but in your very own essence; your soul.

For school I’ve been taking classes of Christian Theology and on different religions which include Hinduism and Buddhism. I have noticed various differences as well as many similarities between these religions. One similarity that attracts me is the idea of meditation; meditatio.

During my readings of the Bible and in the text, Paramahansa Yogananda’s Autobiography of a Yogi, it is depicted that the human body is seen as the temple.

Our bodies are temples, but yet a temple can fall if it is not built on the right foundation. Therefore is it seen that the human body is weak unless it is supported by a higher power greater than oneself: God.
This can be obtained either through the power of prayer, through meditation.

Believe it or not, but Catholics meditate! We meditate and we might not even know it…It occurred to me this past week how meditation is such an important aspect in our prayer time as it is one of the steps we must keep in mine during Lectio Divina: Lectio, Meditatio, Oratio, and Contemplatio.

It is essential in communicating with God.

When one meditates; it is the notion of trying to get our minds away from the things of this world. Meditation is a way to clear our minds of worries, emotions, and thoughts of anything that is lingering in our heads and to focus solely on God.

This sounds easy, but it very difficult.
It is very difficult due to the fact that our minds and our brains are constantly processing thoughts and ideas back and forth subconsciously.
Therefore, once we try to focus and clear our minds it is difficult because, for most people, we are not accustomed to it.
Meditation is the work of the mind and soul
and not of the body and its surroundings.
This is why some people find it hard to concentrate
because they are so preoccupied with what the body is trying to tell them
rather than what God is.

For example, we might be thinking to ourselves,
“It’s so hot in here!”
“Is he looking at me”
“is my hair ok?” or
“I’m hungry!”

The body sends us so many signals
that it hinders us from the true beauty of meditation.

We have difficulties concentrating because it is a fact that
the body constantly desires and longs for satisfaction.
The goal is to not give in to the bodily pleasure
but to stay in tune with the Spirit.

Humans desire and they don’t know what they really want. But in the end, our ultimate desire is true happiness, which can only be obtained through God.

We want to be inspired. We can question on our own.

But we can all agree that human desire is strong and can be selfish at times. However, in this book, I found it very interesting how a Hindu practitioner refers to Therese Neumann, a member of the Third Order of St. Francis, a Catholic mystic and Stigmatist.

The author, Yogananda, acknowledges Therese Neumann as one of the few people who used their body for good and enabled the Holy Spirit to take care of her. Yogananda wanted to meet Therese because, for one, she was a woman of God, and two she was given Stigmata (the experience of Christ’s death wounds) and on top of that she abstains from any kind of food and eats solely the Eucharist from her 6 am mass every morning. The miracle about this is that even though she hasn’t eaten anything she is more vibrant than ever and she glows. Even though a big fraction of the human population gives in to their desire there are a number of people who counter it with good deeds and sincere minds: Therese was one of them. Yogananda was in awe of Therese’s ability and determination, yet along her love for God where she was able to fully give herself to Him and allow the Spirit to take control of her body through meditation and through the meditation of God’s light and love.

Therese Neumann once said to Yogananda when he visited her,

“One of the reasons I am here on earth today is to prove that man can live by God’s invisible light, and not by food only.”

Brothers and Sisters, this inspires me.

To believe, and for once, to not question.

This goes to show that even though the human body is weak, there are people out there who’s will is strong and believe that the body is sacred and keeps it that way. There are people who are called to inspire.

When we meditate we allow ourselves to be listen and hear God’s word in the midst of our hearts.

The Lord will enable us to do great things.

He allows us to enter into intimate dialogue with Him. 

Lord, may we be inspired to take the time to meditate and acknowledge your Holy Presence in our lives. Allow us to seek You as our sole nourishment. Let us question what needs to be questioned, but let our faith be even stronger.

Let our faith inspire.

Lord, allow us to mediate and not to anticipate.

Amen 🙂

I never knew what this quote meant until two weeks ago.

So my sister, Alyssa, arrived in Montreal from the Philippines last Friday morning at 1:00 am on April 19, 2013. I must say that it has been the longest 6 weeks ever.

This was her first time going to the Philippines alone. Her first time away from us for this long. Her first time attending ILC and GAT. Her first time serving for a historical event such as this. A part of me wished that I was there to experience it with her. But a part of me knew that God all planned it this way!

So heres a little back story on the relationship that I have with my sister:

We are two sisters. I am the eldest and the shortest between the two. I am the affectionate, childish, loving, and annoying older sister. She is the serious, fun, caring, and reserved little sister. Though we may have different personalities and personalities that have clashed in the past (We weren’t always the best of friends in a land long long time ago!) but our love for God allowed us to see the preciousness of our sisterhood.

I always try to show her that I love her…I’m different ways!

Whether it be every morning when I wake up or when I come home late from work and Alyssa would still be sleeping…I would purposely wake her up and annoy her and convince her to eat with me.

I would be pretty persistent.

Attempt 1: going up to her room and calling her name (a bunch of times!) to her wake up, head down to the kitchen and wait.

After a few minutes…not up yet.

Attempt 2: going back up to her room and calling her name and shaking her, telling her time to eat, head down to the kitchen and wait.

After a few minutes…not up yet.

Attempt 3: Going back up to her room, calling her name, shaking her from side to side and jumping on her bed and saying “alyyyyyysssaa…time to eat! Wake up! Wake up!” And hug her. Tehihi

And After a few minutes if she didn’t get up yet…you can imagine what else I would do!

So when she was gone…I was in withdrawal!

We grew up in the CFC-Youth and we have been serving the community for a few years now, which means…we do a lot of things together! 🙂 So with her gone for 6 weeks we were both challenged to do a lot of things individually.

However, through this withdrawal, the Lord allowed me to witness His work through my sister and for her to experience service on a different level and allowed me to experience my mission individually being miles and miles and miles apart away.

God has plans for her too!
And that He did!

When Alyssa was heading to ILC, she left her phone with my family so…we weren’t able to communicate. I thought to myself that it’ll be ok because I would be experiencing the ILC with her on Ustream…little did I know that I would be seeing a lot of her!

A sister texted me and told me to tune in to the ILC Ustream. When I opened Ustream I couldn’t believe my eyes…Alyssa was on stage filled with the Holy Spirit and trying to excite 7000 people, She was emceeing the ILC with two other brothers! My initial reaction was a single tear rolling down my right cheek (I know dramatic! Just kidding), a tear of joy! I was so proud of her, just seeing her there experiencing Christ and serving…allowed me to see a piece of God’s greater plan for her!

I’ve seen Alyssa grow up as a woman and have seen her grow spiritually throughout the years. But after her trip to the Philippines, I’ve seen her transform into a Woman of God! At that moment I realized what that quote meant, “When God calls you on mission, He also calls your family” I knew that even though we were far apart…we were serving Him.

When she arrived the other day, and we hugged…it was different..I knew she knew a piece of my heart about mission as I’ve shared in my first reflection,

“Mission work is creating intimacy with God. When I am in mission it is the most personal you become with God, the most real”

As we hugged, I knew we now shared this common feeling, this intimacy with God.

Lord, I thank you for taking care of my sister and the other delegates that went to Philippines from Canada and all over the world. I pray that all who attended the ILC and GAT, may they hear and be sensitive to the messages that God has revealed to them. I thank you Lord for revealing to me that serving is not an individual mission, but a family mission. I pray that my relationship with Alyssa continues to strengthen and that we continue to be instruments not only in the community but within our family. I cannot wait, O lord, what other surprises you have in store for us all!

Amen 🙂

“It’s unrealistic to think that the future of humanity can be achieved only on the basis of prayer, what we need is to take action.” – Dalai Lama

A brother sent me this tweet yesterday because he knew that I would align with it, and that I did. However, when I read it, I immediately had mixed emotions. Then I thought to myself, “Was I feeling this way because I felt guilty?”

Did I feel guilty because I wasn’t praying enough?

Or

Did I feel guilty because I wasn’t taking enough initiative?

I admit, at that moment, for some reason, I felt a sort of resentment towards the idea of “prayer”. Was prayer hindering me from taking action? Is prayer a form of procrastination? Why do I even pray? Do we truly believe that Mary hears us? Do we truly believe that Jesus hears us? Do we truly believe that God hears us?

Who says prayer isn’t an action?

I’m always so hard on myself when I forget to pray, or when I haven’t done the rosary in a while, or when I missed a novena. When I ruminate on the fact that I haven’t prayed this or that…I feel even more distant and far away from God. But I realized that this is the last thing God wants for us, to feel distant from Him.

So, I asked God today,

“Why is it so hard to pray all the time?”

To that He replied,

” It isn’t, you already do. “

And so I thought to myself what did He mean by this.

Our bodies are a living prayer.
Our thoughts…are prayers.
Whether they are good or not.
If our thoughts are bad…God already knows that our prayer is for them to be good.
If our thoughts are good…God already knows that our prayer is to keep us strong.
When we are focused on school…God knows that we are thankful for education.
When we don’t feel like praying…we are already praying to God to help us pray.
When we breathe…God knows that our body is thankful for the air that we breathe.

We are in action…
Communicating with God.
Prayer.

God calls us to be present.
To be aware that we are in prayer.
He wants us to recognize that we are in constant communication with God.
Those times when we feel like we’re not praying…
those are the times when we forget we are praying.

Those are the times when we forget that we are in the presence of God.

The Dalai Lama is right: “It’s unrealistic to think that the future of humanity can be achieved only on the basis of prayer, what we need is to take action.”

Praying is an action.

If praying to us is opening the door for an older woman, then we’re taking action.

If praying to us is feeding a homeless man, then we’re taking action.

If praying to us is voting, then we’re taking action.

If praying to us is saying ‘I love you’ to God, then we’re taking action.

We must recognize that ‘Prayer’ is active and not passive.

I pray because, I am already in prayer.
I do not feel guilty because I don’t pray enough,
I do not feel guilty because I don’t take enough initiative…
I feel guilty when I do not acknowledge God enough.
Prayer does not hinder or procrastinate my goals…
but it strengthens my relationship with God.
I believe that I am being heard…
Whether it be by Mama Mary, Jesus or Father God…because they are here.

Prayer is here.
Prayer is now.

Prayer is the sole action of my soul.

Amen 🙂

“You know there’s growth when God allows you to step back and feel blessed”

I’ve been pondering on a few questions:
Why should I still serve the community? Why do I agree to abide on the teachings of the Church if they’re simply made up? Why do I continue to serve the community if there are practices that I do not fully agree or comprehend?

Today I attended the Covenant Orientation in Montreal where 22 new members were present from our previous Montreal camp and from our Akwesasne Camp. It was one of the most affirming and refreshing events I’ve attended. As I sat there amongst the 22 plus people, I watched the service team pour their hearts out and listened to the sharers testify on how this community has been an instrument in their growth. What really touched me was the fact that the service team, which consisted of our new leaders…became great leaders, not because of their already acquired skill…but because they are brothers and sisters in Christ first to the members. They were changing lives and empowering others solely because of their new found love story with God and His people.

This was a powerful realization and a timely reminder.

As I watched them with water in my eyes, it allowed me to truly soak everything in and to witness the very growth that has been happening under my nose.

It was beautiful.

At that very moment I realized that, those questions I asked myself earlier are merely questions…and questions that may be answered from various perspectives, from different backgrounds, and for different reasons. Though there are times where I still ask myself, “Why do I still serve the community?” Or “Why do I agree to abide on the teachings of the Church ?” Or “Why do I continue to serve the community if there are practices that I do not fully agree or comprehend?”

These questions…they don’t really matter in the end, because the answers to these questions may be subjective.

In the end, what matters are the things that we do, the actions that we make, the practices we choose to do, those seven identities that we encompass, the one on ones that we conduct, the households that we attend, that we go to mass every Sunday, that we choose to receive the Holy Eucharist, and that we go to confession.

What matters is that through the actions that we choose to do and the practices that we encourage…I cannot deny the fact that people are able to experience God.

I cannot deny that I am able to experience God.

I cannot deny that this community has allowed others to grow closer to God.

I cannot deny that the Catholic Church has allowed others to grow closer to God.

I cannot deny that I have become closer to God.

God calls me to be honest with Him.
God calls me to be honest with myself.
I admit that I continuously experience those questions and various derivatives of them.

He challenges me infinitely.
Therefore I am able to grow exponentially.

Amen 🙂

“By dialogue, we let God be present in our midst,

for as we open ourselves to one another,

we open ourselves to God.”

– Pope John Paul II    

Last, Wednesday I attended the 2nd Annual  Interfaith  Dinner, which was titled: “Green Faith: Environment and the Contribution of Religions”. As a lover of nature and a lover of Religions I was quite intrigued by the concept of this event.  I didn’t know what to expect going to this event. Who was going to be there? How we’re the siting arrangements will be? How were the discussions going to pan out? Luckily a sister who invited me ti the event was there with me. When we arrived,  there was about 120 plus people from different ages, different ethnicities and different religious backgrounds. There were four speakers: The Roman Catholic Auxiliary Bishop of Montreal, a professor from the Islamic religion, a professor from the Hindu religion, and a professor from the Judaic religion. All spoke about how each of their communities are being called to meditate on nature and on the land that we are all living in. That creation is not to be dominated but to be appreciated.

As I listened to all the speakers and exchanged  thoughts and  experiences with the people at my table. I was reminded by a quite by Pope John Paul II “By dialogue, we let God be present in our midst, for as we open ourselves to one another, we open ourselves to God.” I then realized what this quote meant and I couldn’t believe that I was actually living that quote at that very moment. How could I deny the presence of God amongst these people, amongst my brothers and sisters. “As we open ourselves to one another, we open ourselves to God”, it is not an easy task to open our hearts and to share how intimate our love is with our Lord, but at the same time to listen and to acknowledge how others are able to experience this same love of God, but in a different way…a way unlike ours but still real. I thought to myself, this is beautiful, this is truly beautiful! Beauty!  What better way to sustain the creation that God bestowed upon us then to be united in acknowledging that this is not my home but OUR HOME.

The Auxiliary Bishop of Montreal said, ” We need to cultivate PEACE to preserve NATURE“. If we are in war, we then become divided, then our so will be our land, and creation will deteriorate. But it is through PEACE that we are able to listen to each other and recognized the value of this COMMON LAND we stand on.

At the end of the night, I was already feeling overwhelmed and couldn’t stop smiling, a gentleman siting at my table who is part of the Islamic religion, approached my friend and I and said, “There’s something in the air that I’m feeling…a feeling that I can’t explain. Something that is filling this room.” This gentleman, my friend, and I looked at each other and just smiled because all three of us knew WHO this “something” was.

Amen.