Christian Marquez – Page 3 – True North Missionaries Journal

God Willing

Prayer to know God’s Will

May it please the supreme and divine Goodness
to give us all abundant grace
ever to know his most holy will
and perfectly to fulfill it.

—St. Ignatius of Loyola

More often than not, we tend to associate God’s will as something we could really adhere to, even obey. What I’ve learned recently is that even deeper than God’s will as a command is God’s will as Truth — a perfect Truth that longs to be fulfilled. Denial of God’s plan is not merely an act of disobedience, but a blind eye from what is – perfect, beautiful, and true.

In Exodus 3:14, God reveals himself to Moses, “I am who I am”. The divine Truth simply is. When we say “non serviam” in our work, it does not change the nature of God’s will. We are making the conscious choice to close our eyes from divine Truth, yet it does not cease to exist. God’s will is perfection in it’s highest form, and when we open our eyes, ears, hearts, to that very Truth, we are graced with glimpses of God’s goodness. We are made free.

“and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” John 8:32

A brother once told me that the image of Truth manifested in the physical is our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross. It encompasses all that is perfect, beautiful, and true — compassion, sorrow, love, suffering, sacrifice, forgiveness and so much more. Yes, it may be easy to close ourselves to God’s will, yet in those times of desolation, he has given us an image in the crucifixion to remind us of our alpha and omega here on Earth – dying for the sake of love. Remember, too, that honourable as it is to die a martyr’s death, is also to live a martyrs life.

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

Christ on the cross is the ultimate example of a heart faithfully abondoning itself to Father God – totally, faithfully, freely, fruitfully. I can only hope and pray that, through constant mortification and sanctification through grace, and consecration to our Blessed Lady, I will be the man that God had intended only because of my total reliance on the Lord and openness to the Truth. I will be one who answers You and I will respond in the only way I know that is true – by loving You with all of me, God-willing.

Totus Tuus

Take and Receive

This man.. I am blessed to know this man. When I needed real advice, he gave me wisdom. When I just wanted to laugh, he wasn’t afraid to be joyful alongside of me. When I was going through difficult times, he fathered me with his homilies. When I failed, he corrected. When I lost hope, he personified perseverance. When I doubted, he immediately taught me to love in response. And when the Lord called him to deny himself, he responded with a resonating YES.

This man is an example. This man imitates Christ. Praise God for you Fr. Dave, and God bless you always. Thank you.

God has a purpose for every single person we encounter in our life. As missionaries, we must fully acknowledge that in God’s design, the people we meet and encounter, befriend and eventually grow fond of, are all apart of a greater mission that God has. As much as it is our mission to come home to our God, it’s his mission for us to reach salvation by way of loving and responding to those people. Loving God is by way of loving neighbour. Loving God is a response of giving to those who need, and receiving from those which God wants us to love.

Prayer of Surrender, St. Ignatius of Loyola

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more.

Cry in My Heart

Western MV Shout, Crescent Beach, June 1, 2013

“For to me, to live is Christ; and to die is gain.” – Philippians 1:21

With all the blessings from this past weekend, He has engraved in my heart one very simple yet resonating messaging: As much as we cry out to the Lord, he cries out for us infinitely greater. Though the humanity in us longs for a Lord to love us, we fail to see that Christ was never absent from our lives. Quite the contrary, we were absent from His. Life will always fail to be without the love of one who Is. In realizing this Truth, the only response (and there is only one) is by giving ourselves in entirety. Through our decrease, He will increase. Through the laying down of our life, comes the resurrection of His.

Lord, let me come back to you.

Desiderio Domini

Hero’s Welcome

Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord— the King of Israel!

Yesterday, I had the great honour of reveling in one of the most significant moments in the history of salvation. No, not the Passion of the Lord, but of course, Jesus’ triumphant entrance in to Jerusalem. To me, this holds great significance because for the first time, he makes a very audacious public statement, to believers and non-believers alike, with a sense of great regalia but at the same time, humility. He was, indeed, their king. Though they failed to see what being King really meant, this sense of overwhelming hope and devotion to Christ affirms me of the posture of hope we should maintain in our full awareness of his divine and royal sovereignty.

“Rejoice greatly, O daughter Zion!
Shout aloud, O daughter Jerusalem!
Lo, your king comes to you;
triumphant and victorious is he,
humble and riding on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a donkey”

Zechariah 9:9

Jesus, Prince of Peace

St. Ignatius always taught that to really contemplate on the scripture, we must picture ourselves present in that exact moment in time. I could imagine myself being one of the Jews on the sideline thinking, “We’re waiting for a great military leader who will lead us to redemption and we get an average joe on a donkey?!” That exact way of thinking is likely how must Jews would have felt at the time, however something that I recently learned was that Jesus’ triumphant return by way of donkey was no mere coincidence. In fact, It was written. Not only was in prophesied by Zachariah, but Jewish tradition tells us that all Jewish kings who have entered a city ride in one of two distinct animals: a horse or a donkey. A horse symbolizes readiness for battle. It signals his troops to take heed and also sends a message to the men of the town that he’s ready for war. However, a donkey, signifies just the opposite. It signifies that he comes in peace. The donkey, in it’s lack of size and “masculinity” is meant to show humility and in an altruistic sense, meekness. When Jesus rode in to Jerusalem on a donkey, He sent a very clear message to the Romans and Jews that he and his apostles came in peace.

Our Personal Pilgrimmage

The great truth the Lord has been revealing to me this Holy week (thus far) is really to pilgrim through this faith journey by way of donkey – to make known of our peaceful intentions by maintaining a humble heart and a charitable Spirit. Though no one will know what the Lord intends for us, not even us, we should always make it very clear that we, as Christians, should be vessels of virtue. Christ already knew of the suffering that was to come, he entered willingly His passion. Similarly, we, with the same God-given wisdom and discernment, must enter willingly our own personal passion not with a heart of conflict or waging war, but with a peace, joy, and charity. When there is suffering, we must burst from the seams with overwhelming compassion and we must always call in to mind that though we remain pilgrims in this life, we are ultimately called to be eternal residences in the next.

Father, allow me to be a faithful pilgrim to you this Holy Week. Allow me to immerse myself in deep conversation with you, as I strive to deepen my love for you. Allow me to strength and grace to do what is needed to enter in to your kingdom in the same manner our Lord entered Jerusalum, in meekness, humility, and peacefulness.

Pater Noster. Ave Maria. Gloria Patri.
Amen

cpm

This is My Cry, My One Desire

My recent prayer time has been a bit different lately. Instead of the usual petitions, my prayers have lead me strangely down the paths of memory lane. It’s funny how certain songs tend to go hand in hand with certain memories. The song “One Desire” comes to mind every time I reflect on my trip to the Philippines in 2009.

It’s been almost 4 years since I went on my GAT trip, and to think about how much life has changed since then is almost unbelievable. I’ve gone from a Chapterhead, to a Clusterhead, to a 100% Free Head to a YCOM Head and to a Mission Volunteer. I’ve seen my fellow pilgrims get married, have children, and even go full-time. I’ve seen some of them grow in to young professionals, and for others, I’ve seen them follow their dreams and pursue their passions. Though we all live unique and somewhat separate lives now, it brings me great joy every time I pray for them because I know that in whatever they’re doing, they’re doing so because their love for the Lord has lead them there.

I thank my God every time I remember you

Philippians 1:3

It’s quite funny how life-changing this event was for me. We often witness in the community to never cascade on the spiritual highs and lows of the events, but I think I can honestly say that this experience for me was one of those pinnacle experiences that have stood the test of time. Whenever I feel like my human weakness fails and I forget the beauty of Agape Love, still images of the villages we visited, the people we met and the shear brotherhood shared at the GAT come flooding back to my mind as if I just left yesterday.

The Lord revealed to me many things on this excursion, but the message that I’ll always treasure is very sweet and simple: love others selflessly. I remember going in to the trip so narrow minded and thinking “I really want to do this because I love to help others”. How naive! Albeit there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to help others, to think the less fortunate are poor because they have less material things – that was my mistake. Those in the Philippines, in particular the ones who resided in the Ancop villages, taught me that they don’t thrive off the same things western society has taught us has worth. They just simply want to be talked to, noticed. When they are deprived of this, they suffer, just as we would. They find the same utter joy in sharing in company and welcoming us in their home then we do immersing in the village life. All people yearn to experience unconditional love: both to love and to be loved.

I live within you, deep in your heart Oh God, I live within you, rest now in me.

It’s so exciting to know that I get to travel there again in less than a month to once again experience the joys of unconditional love through the witness of His servants. What brings me greater joy is the idea that for those going for the first time, a new world of wonder will be revealed just as it did to myself 4 years ago. The Holy Spirit moves at a disturbingly unpredictable pace, and I know that for many of the delegates, they’ll return to their respective homes with a fierce zeal and intensity to serve. May those who seek peace find what they are meant to find.

Vive Christus Rex

Pater Noster. Ave Maria. Gloria Patri.

cpm

The Conquering Lion

“The new pope knows that his task is to make the light of Christ shine before men and women of world – not his own light, but that of Christ.”

This morning was like any other morning. I was on the skytain on the way to work. It was lightly drizzling, and there was barely any room for me to stand comfortably on the train. I was still feeling the effects of the very busy weekend and truth be told, I was quite restless. There in the corner of my eye, I saw, much to my amazement, a young man, around my age, standing right in front of me, so confidently and so proudly doing the sign of the cross.

Like any young and devout Catholic, a curiousity in me sparked so I decided to (very stealthily) see what this young man was doing. His lips were moving, and I could tell he was praying. When I looked even closer, I could tell he was praying the Rosary. He was very engaged and he didn’t seem to care that others were staring. He prayed, because he wanted to engage in conversation in the Lord, and venerate Our Lady. The only thing that mattered to that person in that present time, was God and nothing – not the other commuters, not the drowziness of an early morning, not the less-than-stellar weather – would get in the way of that.

This stranger taught me a very important lesson in courage. We often hear about brothers and sisters who hesitate to show their faith publically; be it praying over their food, or talking about their faith. We’re so comfortable with sharing in the faith within the confines of the CFC community, but when the time comes that the Lord gives us an oppurtunity to be courageous outside of our comforts, we falter. Why is that? It’s not because we lack faith, it’s because we lack courage. Courage or in other words, fortitude, is a cardinal virtue that allows us, as CFC Youth, to live out our call to martyrdom on a daily basis. Standing tall in faith involves a dying and denying of self, maybe not physically, but spiritually.

In light of recent events, we are affirmed of this call to courage in the abdication of our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, the Supreme Pontiff. He has shown great example of humility and courage. Despite the splendor and honour of being the Vicar of the Church, He knew his health was declining. His relationship with the Lord was so personal and intimate that it was easy for him to show great fortitude in this untimely and shocking decision. We, too, must align our unshakable faith with our willingness and conviction to do what the Lord has called us to do – to live this Christian life with vigor and zeal!

Lord, grant that I may have the courage to do what is most difficult, so long as it is in your divine will. Amen

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The Still More Excellent Way (Part II)

“Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from hurt and harm!” And God granted what he asked.” 1 Chronicles 4:10

“…But I shall show you a still more excellent way”
1 Corinthians 12: 31

It was approximately a year ago to this date where I vaguely remember writing my “Why I want to be a Mission Volunteer” essay. I remember writing it and being very consumed and perplexed with feelings of joy but also of great anxiousness. Here I am, a year later, writing about why I still want to be a Mission Volunteer, and those feelings have yet to subside. I look back on that very defining year and think “Wow”. Like most spiritual endeavors, I was going in to this program, blindly, fully entrusting my Faith in God and without really comprehending the capacity of how much discernment, unrest, longing, difficulty, unending joy, hope, mercy, suffering, sacrifice, and love I would be experiencing.

One of the greatest things I’ve been able to contemplate is how to really discern – not by acting on our earthly desires or wants, nor to even excite in the spiritual gains we can get from saying “yes” but to really, sincerely, know and love the Lord so intimately that the only way to approach him is in full surrender. I love the Lord God so much and can honestly rejoice in the fact that this past year, through all the service he’s been able to grace me with, has not driven my away from him, but has taught me to love him in a more wholesome way – through family, through friendship, through vocation. Truly our Lord wants to be loved in his entirety (Holy Trinity, One God) and it can only be done when we learn to do so with our entire selves just the same.

Perseverance has been the main key to my discernment for Full-time Pastoral Work. In the many moments I’ve shared talking to my fellow Mission Volunteers, or the many times I’ve been corrected by my mentor or heads, God really shows me that His love is enduring. It’s not a sprint where we love intensely for a short amount of time then fall rapidly when we get shoved or struck with difficulty. The love we have for God and the love we want to share through the mission is meant to be consistent and unending. In the same way, growth doesn’t come in stints, it comes slowly but also, like a harvest, very abundantly.

This leads me back to my current state of discernment – Why I still want to be a Mission Volunteer. Well, It’s very simple. I want to know and love the Lord’s plan for me in the most personal way possible. Though I’ve learned to endure and to really obey, there is a still small voice inside of me that urges me to continue to be refined, like fermented wine. Though I know what I want, and know what others want for me, there is still an unknown and a disconnect from my plans to His. Albeit I’ve trusted him up to this point and I know I am where I’m supposed to be at this moment. As for tomorrow, only God knows.

“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Please pray for me as I continue to do for all of you.

Lord, I do not know my heart, only you do. May I clearly know the plans you’ve written in the palm of your hand. Amen.

cpm