The Lord gives not because of what we’ve done, what we’re doing, or what we will do. The Lord simply gives. The Lord provides because He is the ultimate Father who cannot deny the needs of his children. The Lord has really humbled me the past 2 months. As a mission volunteer discerning for full-time pastoral work, recently most of my attention has been focused on the things I’ve had to give up and still need to give up. I’ve focused on the weight of my “Yes” and have been so stuck on the burden. I lost sight somewhere along the way.
Then I realized, the mission doesn’t need me. God can use whoever He wants. I’m the one that needs the mission. Mission is a gift for me, where my healing and freedom lies. This epiphany completely changed the posture of my heart and the attitude I had towards my current service role as a GTA West Sector Head. I realized that my prayer for patience, love, understanding, forgiveness and compassion were answered through my sector household. In fact some of my strongest affirmations have come from them. And here I was, complaining about how hard sacrifice was on my end….when God made the ultimate sacrifice through His Son Jesus.
Three days ago, I received a call from my old director within the first hour of arriving back from an impromptu trip to Montreal. Long story short, in 5 hrs I was hired as one of the Early Childhood Educators for their preschool room. They contacted me and they arranged for my old files to be transferred. The job fell on my lap the same way it did last year. No fights, no fuss, no road blocks. Today was my first day.
God continues to shower me with blessings. By shower, I mean flood. The Noah’s Ark kind of flood. I’m always so dumbfounded by it. He’s so persistent, so consistent and so insistent on His love for me. I’ve had to learn to just be grateful, to stop questioning God’s motives.
“I give abundantly because my love in itself is from and all about abundance. Overflowing. Eternal. I give because I love. Just let me.”
“God says, gratitude is the elixir of life. If you want to experience the reality that God is love, and love is God, and the nature of your own pure presence is God, is love, then on that level of being human, on that level of your humanity, allow gratitude to be your great practice.” — Matthew from The Daily Wholeness Healings, 10-24-12
