“There is never enough time” has to be one of the most overused sentences I have ever heard…and said. I have come to accept North American culture as the fast paced, stress inducing kind that it is. Ever since I was young, the notion that time was working against me was already engrained in my head.
And now as I try to balance life- prayer time, work, family & friends, sector duties and mission assignments I still feel at time that there is simply not enough time! I would be lying to myself if I didn’t own up to the reality- my reality– that if anything, my prayer time is what takes the hit. But Praise God for this community and its leaders, especially the Full Time Workers for constantly reminding me, reminding us that despite our schedules and agendas Jesus deserves that permanent non-negotiable coffee date. Every day. Regardless of what that day looks like.
My biggest personal struggle has always been my control issues, but in the past year the Lord has really refined and purified my heart so that I can learn when and most importantly how to surrender. I had such a strong desire to imitate the twin hearts- Jesus’ Sacred heart and Mom’s Immaculate Heart because I knew that it would help me grow in my trust for the Lord. Their hearts are a perfect example of what true sacrifice and true surrender looks like. Praise God because so much has happened because of it.
Joy continues to reverberate throughout me even when service gets difficult, frustrating or challenging.
Peace continues to reign in my heart despite the doubts about my vocation press hard on me.
The love in my heart for God and His people continues to grow inside me.
God is a god of order. God is always on control. God is the ultimate Author of time. He is our first beginning and our last end. The fabric of our life He has personally sewn. His pursuit of our hearts will always lead us back to the cross- it is the inescapable route towards His love.
The walk to Calvary is torturous when we carry more than is necessary. Therefore an emptying of ourselves must happen- of our desires, our own plans, our own schedules and personal itineraries. Is that not what our own Mother Mary did? Come to the foot of the cross with absolutely nothing, nothing else but Jesus in her heart.
It has been more fulfilling allowing the Lord to lead my heart and my life. He has filled the past four weeks of my life with far greater plans. I could have never imagined myself to be where I am now. My God is so good to me that He’s not only given me what I need, but he’s also given me so much more than what I thought I wanted for myself. So how could I deny him access to that which He created himself?
