About two weekends ago I was blessed enough to serve at the first ever Steubenville Conference outside of Steubenville, Ohio here in Toronto. The Archdiocese ran the event and there are absolutely no words to convey how full my heart felt during the entirety of that conference. There were 2500+ attendees with seminarians, consecrated religious, 30 priests, 6 bishops and 1 cardinal. It was insane.
Initially there were supposed to be 4 of us from the area core who volunteered to attend the event, but a few things came up for the others. I ended up being alone for all of Saturday. I wasn’t too pleased with the thought of going alone especially because I was outside of the comforts of the CFC community.
I know now that God planned it to be that way because he really wanted some one on one time. He wanted my full attention and knew that the only way to do that was to isolate me. This was a “Peter, come out of the boat and walk on water” experience.
I signed up for a 4-5pm adoration assignment because I knew that I had all the time in the world to spare. Somehow the Liturgy organizers hadn’t assigned anyone yet. It definitely worked in my favour. Part of me felt like I needed to steal away from the large crowds (and/or hide away).
Thank God for that yes.
In my last fifteen minutes of my time, while I was simply gazing at the tabernacle I was pleasantly and shockingly surprised to find all major internationally acclaimed speakers, singers, hosts and leaders in that tiny little chapel. Among them were Jacky Francois and Bobby Angel, Bob Rice, Ike Ndolo, and Father Dave Pivonka. This was their preparation before going back on stage.
WAS THIS REAL LIFE?
In that moment my heart expanded ten times full because I could feel the intensity of their love for Christ. I could feel their desire to meet Him, the emptying of themselves so that the Spirit could fill them. In the silence of my mind echoed these words,
“This is how my heart feels every time one of you say yes to my Son. This is the joy that vibrates well within me every time a vocation is answered, a promise is fulfilled. Do you understand the gravity of one simple yes?”
Security pulled me out two songs into the private worship session. It was enough for me to witness abandonement in the form of all vocations-
…through the religious sister who sat in front of me,
…through the hands raised high in surrender to our God by the Franciscan friar,
…through the sweet, melodious notes of a Catholic singer,
…through the gentle words of a missionary and inspirational speaker,
…through the reverence of a wife who lay prostrate even with her seven month belly,
…through the quiet strength of a supportive husband whose hands supported her from behind.
And this was a moment in time that the Lord designed specifically for me. This was a blessing He graciously shared with me. This was mercy and grace outpoured.
God is in the day to day, monotonous duties. I might have entered that chapel carrying nothing with me, but I know I left it carrying everything in my heart.
He is my all.
Lover of my soul I want to tell you / Only you have all of me / I cannot contain my adoration / I’m in love so desperately / No one is as lovely as you are / There is no one else who has my heart / Jesus you have me completely / Every breath I breathe I am absolutely in love / Jesus I am yours forever / All of me surrenders / I am absolutely in love with you.
