Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Thy faithful and enkindle in them the fire of Thy love.
Send forth Thy Spirit and they shall be created.
And Thou shalt renew the face of the earth.
Let us pray. O God, Who didst instruct the hearts of the faithful by the light of the Holy Spirit, grant us in the same Spirit to be truly wise, and ever to rejoice in His consolation. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
When I came into the SHOUT House, I always knew I had a place in CFC-Youth Edmonton, but for some odd reason I felt distant from everyone. Maybe it was because I was gone for three weeks and was jetlagged or that I came to the SHOUT House on the second day and didn’t really know what I missed. For whatever reason it was, I felt distant and this bothered me. I tried to engage in conversation with people, tried to contribute to the tasks at hand, and I tried to complete the workshop I was asked to do, but I just lacked so much focus no matter how much I tried. It was really difficult for me to be present while feeling distant.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened to me then haha, but I think what may be more important is to concentrate on the moment where all of those feelings of feeling distant vanished.
We were upstairs in the SHOUT House, going into evening worship and quickly I felt something different, and automatically I knew the presence of the Holy Spirit was there. And while I was worshiping I could sense that Mother Mary was there too. This just reminded me of Pentecost when Mother Mary and the apostles experienced the descent of the Holy Spirit in the upper room.
I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like I had encountered God again, but in a different way for a different purpose because usually when I have an encounter with God, it’s an encounter with Jesus Christ where He’s telling me that He loves me, forgives me, and longs to be with me. But this was different. God was coming to me as the Holy Spirit, empowering me to break out of this sort of complacency that I was in, reminding me of the reason why all of us were there in that upstairs… to make ready our hearts to deliberately proclaim His name.
My thoughts in this blog post are quite fragmented, but that’s because I don’t know exactly what happened in that upstairs. I am still amazed by what happened there because my mind can’t make sense of that fact that for days I felt out of it, and then — boom — one moment just brought me back in.
God is so good — He’s funny and confusing sometimes haha — but He is so good. I pray that I remember this moment because God’s love for me has sort of ‘evolved’ into something different, even though I know His love remains the same.
Thank You Lord for blessing me and giving me the opportunity to serve You. I pray that I may give You glory and that everything I do pleases You. I ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
