Month: March 2014

Today we celebrate the feast of the Annunciation of the Lord, Mary’s fiat to conceive of the Saviour of the world.

I had coffee with a brother from CCO (Catholic Christian Outreach) one day. I remember that when I was still in CFC Youth way back then, I led the camp that he joined. I also remember that a couple years later, after not having seen him or heard from him, I led a worship at a Campus Based GA that he came out to. He approached me afterwards and told me that it was like coming full circle and he thanked me for the worship that I led that day.

Anyway, since that GA, we would randomly meet up for coffee at Bamboo Cafe near Joyce Station and we would catch up with one another and how our lives are going. So when we had coffee for the first time since that GA, it seemed like we just talked the whole day about anything and everything – music, art, our faith life, sports (which was rather a short conversation since I don’t know much about sports). He told me something that will always stuck with me. He honours the community for our devotion to the Blessed Mother which is something that he constantly strives for now in his prayer time.

Mary has always been a big part of my prayer life but I never fully embraced her importance until this conversation. See, we always ask for her intercession because how can a Son say no to His mother? Jesus is not exempted from that. Her intercession is very powerful.

Mother Mary, thank you for your yes to carry the Saviour of the world. Thank you for continuing to intercede for me. As I journey into the beginning of the yes I gave in serving as a Mission Volunteer for Western Canada alongside my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, please continue to intercede for us at your Son’s right hand that the mission of the True North continues to persevere and grow. 

The Father has great plans for the True North. Let us continue to grow in love and service for our God. Let us continue to say yes to whatever the Lord has planned for us, whenever and wherever He may be calling us.

Ave Maria, gratia plena. Dominus tecum. 

Last minute-ness in service has had its tendency to pull some strings in me at times… But when I look back to the past year, I can’t help but feel amazed at how the Lord has provided…

This past weekend in Pacific, we conducted the MCG Retreat. It was very fruitful! I couldn’t help but be affirmed that the Lord is truly with us on this journey.  The retreat was entitled “Here I Am” taken from the book of Samuel, when the Lord called him by name and he answered “Here I am!” When the Lord calls, we come as we are.

As I look back on my journey I realize how much the Lord really loves me because even if I’ve lived a sinful life, He still affirmed me of His love and kept calling me to follow Him. He has truly called me to come and follow Him as I am, with all my sins, weaknesses, failures, limitations, and unworthiness. He calls me by name knowing how much I’ve hurt Him. He is truly a Father that loves and is full of mercy and compassion.

Heavenly Father, here I am, a criminal according to your justice but a son according to your mercy and justification in Jesus Christ. Thank you for being so patient with me. Your tenderness calls out to me and causes me to keep inching forward. Your grace sustains me when I falter and when I’m down. Thank You God for everything. Thank You for calling me as I am, without the fig leaves. I cannot hide from Your love. May Your fire illuminate the darkness and incinerate all that hinders me from loving You. Our Lady of perpetual help, pray for me and all sinners. We fly unto you!

 

So, I guess this is the first time I am actually posting something on a blog.  Not really sure how to do one, but let me see how the Lord will lead this post … how He will lead this journey, this new beginning as a mission volunteer.

Before making the decision to become a mission volunteer, I was actually unsure if I was going to apply or not.  I still remember the first time I ever thought of the idea of becoming a full-time missionary, a full-time pastoral worker.  This was back in April 2012.  I went to Vancouver for work purposes.  Little did I know, something in me felt an urge to serve, to serve God somewhere far away from home, somewhere outside the comfort of the city where I have lived in for more than 17 years.  I met up with Ate Lissa Untalan while in Vancouver, who at that time was a FTPW, and I spoke with her about what was going on through my mind at that time.  We had a very good, and deep conversation, about our spiritual lives.  Then conference came, it was in Ottawa.  It was there where I felt a strong calling from the Lord, as if He wanted me to go, to come to Him, closer to Him, a call to serve Him totally and completely.  It was then when I first expressed a desire to possibly discern if full-time work was what God was calling me to do.  I spoke with Butch Baria, as well as John Acosta concerning these desires that were being stirred within my heart.  I then found out that to be an SFC full-time pastoral worker, one needed to have completed some sort of post-secondary education.  This was a big blow to me, since at that time, I had not finished my university degree.  So there was a decision I needed to make, whether to go back to school (which I dredded at that time), or take some courses to obtain a certification of some sort, or … well I wasn’t sure what to do.  I prayed hard, and thought about it through and through.  Until finally, I made the decision to go back to school and finish my degree, which would take approximately 2 years, finishing by the spring of 2015.  I enrolled for school, I got into the classes I registered for, and I felt a peace within me, knowing I had made the right (or best) decision.  Then John Acosta made a visit here and we were able to talk about the program.  Funny thing is, he eventually told me that if I wanted to apply to become an SFC FTPW, there were exceptions and that I would no longer need to have post-secondary education.  This made me laugh, since I had already registered for school.  So my discernment continues …. the MV program is finally in effect, and here I am, taking that step, not sure if it’s a big or small one, but nonetheless putting my feet into the water of where the Lord is leading me in my life.  What am I expecting in this program?  I don’t know, I don’t know what to expect.  Can I see what’s going to happen in the future?  No I can’t, I can’t see and I don’t know where this program will take me.  But what I do know, is that the Lord is guiding every step of the way, and I leave it up to His VERY CAPABLE Hands, and wait, and see, where this road will take me.  It’s a very fitting start to the year, with the theme of BEHOLD and PONDER, which allows me to have this grace to be able to behold the work of the Lord, and ponder on His works and His power in my life to make all things possible.

May God be praised.

Our worth is immeasurable by human hands and by human heart. It is measured by our love and attachment to the Lord, in which only He is the Right Judge.

Though there are others that say, “Praise God for you! How do remain so consistent? You’re so prayerful,” I feel hesitant at times to accept it, and I’ve been conflicted for a while as to why… As I reflected more on it, I have come to terms to understand that I can’t agree because the measure is always different. To them, it seems more than enough. As for me… I can’t help but feel that I can give more. I can do more. And the reality is: that will always be true. Never – so long as I am human – will I ever be worthy .. never will I have given enough… not UNTIL I join my Father in heaven, and the only way I can do this is to always STRIVE FOR MORE; PUSH FOR MORE – PRAY FOR MORE.

In prayer, I have full faith that my heavenly Father Who IS enough will lead me to be worthy of the day. It is in this trust that I will strive to be careful and pull away from idle time…

There will always be a chance to do more… be more… and go ABOVE and BEYOND each and every time. 

Totus Tuus.
Totally Yours.

 

Philippines Week #6
Saturday, March 8, 2014

Today I spent most of the Day with the Echavez’ family.
I tagged along with the Echavez’ family at SM Fairview.
It was nice being able to go around and run errands with Tita, to play with KC their grand-daughter, and to just talk with the family.

I think this made me miss my family even more.
It made me miss home.

There was this moment during the afternoon where I was just going around the SM Fairview Mall.
There was so many people.
As I peaked in each store and looked around

I can’t believe that I am actually in the Philippines
I noticed that there are times when
I am found in my own thoughts
And I become aware of where I really am
In the Philippines
By myself
Blessed
I sometimes I would tear because I still can’t believe that I am here

He placed me with a beautiful and selfless host family
He placed me in the North A Sector
It is not a coincidence that I am in North A (NA)
I am originally from (North America)

And my fellow FTPW trainee is in Central A, (CA)
He is originally from (California)
Ok, I know you’re thinking that this connection is far fetched…

 

I say it is perfect.

 He places us exactly where we are suppose to be

There are a few times where I do question my anointing…
I feel that I am not good enough
That there are other people who are better than me and more capable

I am not worthy

But I was reminded once again that…
I will never be worthy anyways
It is He who makes me worthy
It is He who anoints

Sometimes its hard,
But I know God is strongest in me when I am most honest with myself
When I am honest with how I feel and with what I am going through

In the end,

I am called
To be where I am
Not because of  my skills or abilities

But simply because

He knows me inside and out
Knows my every imperfection
But still calls me lovingly to be part of His mission.

Amen 🙂

“No matter how imperfect you are, Jesus still calls us to be a part of His the mission “

Today I learned a new song at our CFC-Singles for Christ General Assembly. I’ve actually heard it before as my brother covered it for CFC-Youth a couple of years ago (Love you Mike =D) but today was the first time that I was actually able to sing it in worship.

From the rivers to the seas
From the valleys to the peak of the mountains
You are God

From the skies to the stars
From the clouds to the heavens above us
You are God

You are God of this world
I am living
You are God of these dreams
I’ve been longing
You are God of this Life
That I’ve been striving for 
You are Larger than Life

It was a fitting song for this day as we are reminded in the readings from Mass of how powerful, loving and all-knowing the Lord is in our lives. How He is God and how He is greater than anything we could ever bring to Him.

Moses was able to strike upon a rock with his walking staff and bring the Israelites water after they were wandering many days from Egypt. Many questioned where Moses and by extension where the Lord was leading them.

Yet, after seeing this how could they question anymore? 
“Is the LORD in our midst or not?”
Exodus 17:3-7

Again in the Gospel we are reminded of how the Lord knows our hearts and how much we thirst for Him. How only his “water” can sustain us from ever thirsting again. After hearing Jesus speak, the woman knew for her heart to not be restless that she needed to draw closer to Him. John 4:5-42

I know for myself, it is very easy to doubt in my abilities and the path that I am taking. New responsibilities  as an MV, having a full-time job, being a household head, boyfriend, brother and son can be taxing at times. It is easy to make excuses for those different aspects of my life but these readings and this song are a reminder one very important truth. A truth the resounds in the deepest part of my heart. A truth where I know that I can lift all the good and bad things in my life all up to Him and everything will be OK. And that truth is:

God is Greater