As Mission Volunteers, those discerning to be Full Time Pastoral Workers, majority of the time the question that crosses our heads are “what am I willing to give up?”
It’s the norm for young adults in their twenties to either be: in school to finish a degree, graduated and looking for work, or already working. We think about the things we are to sacrifice: all those spent years, time and money at school, a secure and steady job, the familiar faces of family, close friends, relationships… the thought of letting go or being apart can discourage our hearts, and weaken the fire within us.
It’s true. Many times in my discernment, I’ve had these thoughts, these worries, these doubts. Voices of people in my head, that make me feel like I need to justify this call. If only they can see the pain in my heart, because of this call. If only they can see how my soul longs to say “Yes” to Jesus, and that what I’m actually discerning for, is not only to be a FTPW or my vocation, but instead for that “Yes” that puts me at complete and total surrender to Him. The “Yes” that let’s His will be done. The “Yes” that was written in my life. The “Yes” I long for. The “Yes” that leads me to Whom I long for.
So, out of all those things what am I willing to give up? Nothing. Because I have nothing.
Those years and money spent on school? They are all His.
My secure and steady job? Not mine, but His.
My family, friends, relationships? Gifted to me, but are all His.
Instead, what I’m willing to give up is my idleness, complacency, mediocrity, and ignorance. I am willing to tune out the voices of this world, and focus on The One who spoke not in my ears, but to my heart. I am willing to finally let Him lead. I am willing to trust, to be vulnerable, to be loved… to love.
Jesus, I trust in You. Lead me to the “Yes” that God has prepared. Keep my discernment, and the discernment of my fellow MVs pure. Protect us Lord, from any evil or doubt or worries that lead us away from You. Allow us to focus on Your voice, to let The Spirit lead, and to trust in Your promises. Amen.