“To have and to hold, all the days of my life…”
We hear it all the time… in movies EPIC movies… in novels… and we begin to dream of the oh-so-romantic moment it is our turn to say our vows. At least for most of us. But does this really portray the true meaning of marriage? WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN WHEN COUPLES STATE THEIR VOWS AT THE ALTAR? What does marriage really entail? Let’s break it down…
THE WEDDING.
I must admit, I’ve always dreamed of “the day”. I think it’s why I wanted a debut. It was the closest thing to a wedding, legally, without commitments and vows! … or so I thought…
Marriage is not about the decorations, or the dress, or the fancy banquet that follows. It is the ceremony celebrated with God and the banquet celebrated in unity and in our hearts. To marry another man is to marry the presence of God in him through the union made in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. But I cannot unify the presence of God in him until I have married my soul to Him first. A wedding, therefore is a celebration of unity… not cakes, dresses, diamonds, flowers, guests, etc. Those are bonuses HAHA (Hey, a woman can dream right?) So…
How can I prepare myself?
It is through constant discernment. I googled the vows a Catholic man and woman takes during the Wedding Ceremony itself. The dialogue goes something like this:
Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.
Groom: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
When I read this, I thought that it was so beautiful!!! Why? Not because it is EPIC. Not because it brings “KILIG MOMENTS” (i.e. moments you get those butterflies and you want to just squeal because of all the cuteness). It’s because once again, it takes us back to the basics… It is because God loved me FIRST, and I am called to love Him back in His divine plan for me first before everything else…
THE VOW…
It is a vow I must make with God first, constantly re-establishing the very first moment of creation. God made His vow to me when He planned my existence – when He said to my soul:
“I take you to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you all the days of my life.”
And He held true to His promise:
- He takes me in as His wife when I unify my soul with Him, first in the Sacrament of Baptism, and continuously in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist.
- He remains always true to me in good times and in bad through Adoration.
- He takes care of me in sickness and in health, spiritually through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and physically to some in the Anointing of the Sick.
- He will love me and honour me all the days of HIS life. Yes, all the days of HIS life because His love is eternal. He loved me before my existence, He loves me now, and after my soul leaves its vessel on earth, I deeply believe He will continue to love me…
The vow, therefore, is not between man and woman alone, but between Man and God first. Marriage must first occur with the Lord and in that Trinitarian love… in His time, God will share my heart and my vow with Him with the man that He so carefully molded for me. (God-willing, of course!)
MARRIAGE,
Therefore, is re-announcing the covenant and love between MAN and GOD, bringing us back to the beginning. GENESIS. “GOD’S PLAN AND HIS LOVE FOR US.” Through the love of God, He made woman from man, and in finding His Real Presence in our lives, man and woman is made whole with the Lord in living out His Trinitarian love.
“From the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.’ So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
– Mark 10: 6-9