It all started with me being pursued. He wooed me at the very first encounter. He was so mysterious and I liked it! He was sending me constant signals that he wanted a relationship with me. Sometimes they were clear, other times the over-thinker in me clouded the signals and I was left confused.
Time was his greatest gift to me. He gave me his time when I was sick, when I was feeling down or sad, and he was always someone I can confide in. He was definitely there when I had my happiest and proudest moments. During the in-betweens, he was still sticking around! When family time, work, school and service got me busy, he was just there waiting for me. He challenged me in so many ways, but made sure I felt loved throughout the entire time.
I started to sometimes take him for granted, I wouldn’t talk to him because I became busy and it was just a hassle to stop and spend time with him. I started choosing others over him, even though I knew I was his priority. Then it got to a point when I would talk to him when I needed something. I found myself always asking him to help me. I would even get disappointed when he didn’t give me what I asked him, when he didn’t allow me to do the things I wanted to.
I would then start feeling bad for the way I treated him. He was so good to me, why can’t I appreciate him? I suddenly felt unworthy of his love. He loves me and always finds a way to show it. I on the other hand was too preoccupied with my own desires, or at least what I thought were my desires. I began to miss him, a lot! I looked for him everywhereThere was a void in my heart that only he would fill. But he was still always there.
Whether I realized it or not, he was pursuing me after all of these years. His mercy is endless and his love for me is overflowing. I am at a point in my life where I desire to pursue him. In spending time with him, in getting to know him, in wanting to be with him. Although it is still a challenge, I know that choosing to love him and serving him everyday is all worth it. I know that I am meant to be with him and to bring his light to others.
My heart longs to be with you, Lord. I will seek you and find you with all of my heart. May you never get tired of loving me and pursuing me.
Amen.
