“My Child, do not settle for comfort. Let me help you to grow in your weakness.”
I definitely never expected to be this far into my service. High School Based was never really in my discernment after becoming Chapter Head. The Lord definitely knew where I needed to grow in the most. He literally took me out of my comfort zone and placed me where I least expected it.
I remember I was very restless one night because I kept thinking about the Lord’s decision. In my prayers, all I could do was complain of how much I hated school and how much I hated studying even more. For a good week or two, the questions of, “High School Based? Really Lord? Is that the best you could do? Was that really the only option for me?” constantly filled the thoughts in my head. Eventually, I had said yes out of obedience. Although I had said yes, I had felt like my yes meant nothing because I was not happy. I felt like the Lord gave me the last pick of the batch. The area that no one wanted.
I was constantly asking the Lord and questioning His every intention of my purpose in High School Based. I kept asking Him if this was really where I was meant to be. I was afraid and kept doubting myself for the fear of not being able to excel in my studies. Here I was, a student that had settled for mediocrity throughout high school. A student that had failed her first year of post secondary. And yet, He had still called me? How could I, of all people still be called to lead this program?
Upon entering my first year of being program head, I was in school for the second time, continuing on the program that I had failed two years prior. I had always thought that I needed to get good grades in school. That I needed to be at the top of my class to be worthy of the position that I held.
Through serving and making close bonds with the brothers and sisters in the program, I eventually learnt that being a model of excellence was not simply about getting good grades, but rather, the posture of how I was to carry myself throughout my studies. The posture of simply praying before and after every exam and every study session. The posture of lifting everything up to Him was what mattered the most. And knowing that, as long as I was doing my best, the Lord will be the one to do the rest.
I am happy to say that I was able to finish school last summer and have been working for about 9 months now! I thank my God for my beautiful brothers and sisters in High School Based who inspired and continue to inspire me to be a model of excellence for the Lord.
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Blessed be God forever!