There are times in my life when I feel lost and I really don’t know what to do. As a FTPW my future is very uncertain because I’m going on the anointing of the Lord. I will stop only when He says stop but to be honest I am anxious sometimes at the thought I have no idea what’s going to happen. I guess the Lord is calling me to pray for more faith.
I have realized that the Lord makes it perfectly clear what I need to do and the internal battle is not knowing what it is but accepting it. As a disciple of Jesus, I am called most of the time to deny myself and take up my cross if I want to follow Him. I struggle with the decision because dying to self is always the harder thing to do, though it is what I ought to do.
God has given me free will, though He makes it perfectly clear how He’d like for me to use it.
“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love be servants of one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ ” —Galatians 5:13–14
In making decisions as Christians, we must ask ourselves: will I, through love, be a servant of another? If I were the other person, how would I like to be treated and shown love?
The answer will always be a call to die to self, thus it will most likely lead to inconveniencing ourselves. This is what it means to be a true disciple. This is what it means to love.
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” –Bl. Teresa of Calcutta