Speak to me Lord

There are times where I get this overwhelming burst of emotion after thinking too much about a particular thing. After thinking too hard about it, I start to get saddened by what it is, or what its current situation is, and eventually, I move on to thinking about another thing to take my mind off of it. I find myself in a constant whirlwind of emotions that repeat and never stop. My mind wanders too often into the things that I know my mind should not be in. Without me realizing, my thoughts, emotions and feelings start to get the best of me. Eventually, I start to worry, panic, and think of the many ways in where I can “fix” or make things better than how they currently are.

Almost all the time, I have many things that run through my mind. Especially before sleeping. My mind is filled with many thoughts, emotions and worries. Aside from having my personal prayer time, one of the other ways in where I keep myself grounded so that I do not act upon my feelings and emotions is to listen to non-secular songs. For as long as I can remember, I have had a playlist of reflection songs from Audrey Assad, Starfield, Casting Crowns, and Liveloud. Just to name a few. I keep this playlist going throughout my day/night or I repeat a particular song throughout the night that has spoken to my heart.

My choice of song most of the time goes something like this,

Speak To Me Lord – Anton Brosas

Take me to Your Holy place
A place to hear Your voice
Quiet my heart, make straight my path
Restore my soul, O Lord

I place my trust in You
I place my trust in You
Speak to me Lord, I pray to hear Your call
Speak to me Lord, as I worship and adore

Take me to Your Holy place
A place to know Your voice
Let Your love fall down on me
And Your spirit bring me peace

I place my trust in You
I place my trust in You
Speak to me Lord, I pray to hear Your call
Speak to me Lord, as I worship and adore

My Lord and my God
I surrender myself to You
My Lord and my God
I surrender myself to You (X2)

Speak to me Lord, I pray to hear Your call
Speak to me Lord, as I worship and adore
(repeat)

*A very beautiful prayer from an inspiring brother.

I woke up yesterday morning still having many things on my mind. I felt as though the Lord was doing all that He could to get into my thoughts and more so, into my heart. He was knocking but I was not answering. I could hear Him knocking but, being the stubborn person I usually am, I choose to not allow Him to come in. Knowing that if I did, He would occupy every thought in my mind. Making me forget all of my worries and all of the important things I have been thinking of.

Although I do trust in the Lord, there are many times in where I get weak and eventually start doubting myself, and most especially, the Lord. Very ironic with my song choice. The time that I ask for the Lord to speak to me is the time I choose to ignore Him. Its the time I choose to be ignorant and prideful. Thinking that, I have everything under control. This is one of the times in where I really have to humble myself and ask the Lord for an increase in faith, hope and trust. It’s during these times in where, I am continually reminded that, I am nothing and that the Lord is everything. The song continually reminds me of the posture I should have when I come before the Lord.

A posture of full surrender, total faith, hope and trust.

Lord, help me to fully surrender myself to your love. As I come before your throne, I ask for your loving  grace and mercy to humble this sinful heart of mine. Increase in me the capacity to love so that I may grow in Holiness towards you.
Mama Mary, intercede for me. Purify my hearts every desire so that they may be aligned with the Father’s will.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.