I’ve been suffering from vertigo for the past couple of days. Imagine waking up as your surroundings spun out of control. I was freaking out and I felt so sick. I was crawling to the bathroom and it wasn’t even 5 am yet. I felt so helpless.
Last night, my family brought me to the emergency to get checked. I waited to be seen by the on-call doctor as a series of injured patients piled in. Some were from a motorcycle accident, the rest were from drinking and driving.
And so I waited for my turn amidst the smell of blood, flesh wounds and vomit. I sat there and kept my stomach from churning. Finally I was tended to, and was referred to a specialist. My wait was longer than my actual check up.
Today, I waited for 4 hours to see the doctor. I only had crackers to munch on. I was getting so impatient and annoyed until I realized that most of my fellow patients were elderly. They were old and weak and they’d been waiting longer than I. So I told myself to wait longer.
After the check up, my aunt, brother and myself went straight to the restaurant to eat as we were starving. Within minutes, the food we ordered came, except for mine. Five minutes passed, then 10, then 15 then almost 30 minutes passed. Finally after following up, my order came. I was already past the point of hunger.
When it was time to get my prescription, the first pharmacy was full so we moved on to the next one but they didn’t have the medicine I needed. It’s true what they say, third time’s the charm. Got the medicine on the third try.
Then on the way home, the bus ride that was only supposed to be 40 minutes turned to two hours due to road construction. So I sat there contemplating and realizing that the Lord is clearly telling me to wait.
Then when I looked up, I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets ever. The sky was orange red, in layers, fiery and bright. It was straight out of a dream.
All day long I’ve had to wait for something or someone. All day long I’ve been delayed. All day long I was chasing something I knew I needed. All the while, I was hopeful it will be my turn. I was hopeful that the food will soon come and I can finally eat. I was hopeful the next pharmacy had my prescription. It got me thinking, what does it mean to wait? What does it mean to be patient? It all lies in that four letter word: hope.
Waiting isn’t easy. Being delayed or derailed is frustrating. When situations don’t go the way we imagined it, we start to doubt and think it’s not meant for us. Sometimes it makes more sense to give up and just walk away, try our luck again tomorrow but when we’re in that moment, though we might think that our time is wasted or we’re sent on a loop, the point is to keep looking forward. To keep hoping especially if we know at the end of that hope is what we need most, what is necessary, what we’ve asked for from the Lord. He said, ask and you shall receive.
So trust that He will hand it to you; hopeful that it is the best for you.
At the end of the day, like that sunset, the Lord can turn it all around and show you what He’s been painting in the background for you, all along. We can’t pretend to see the ending but we know and are hopeful that the Lord is already there. Sometimes waiting is necessary. Often, waiting makes room for God’s grace.
Hopeful,
Alodia