Today is my Grandmother’s 78th birthday. My family and I threw a make-shift, last minute birthday party for her this evening. In previous years, the whole family would just get together at a restaurant or a buffet. However, this year’s celebration differed in several ways. At face-value, it may seem that it was a simple celebration with family gathered as one, sharing a bucket of KFC chicken, Ube cake, and Sans Rival cake. However, the grandeur of tonight’s celebration was that of another victory.
On Thursday, March 13 my Grandmother was rushed to the ER and later admitted to the hospital. I’ll be honest when I say that it wasn’t the easiest day to get through. I hadn’t seen her so shaken in a while. I can’t get too heavy in detail about her health concerns (for confidentiality reasons). She was hospitalized for about two weeks, and within that period me and my family members had to take shifts caring for her and keeping her company. Some might say being at the hospital with her would be burdensome. And I could see why: I’m a full-time student with a full course load, finals nearly approaching, an active member in SFC, a CFCY Campus Based Program Head, a Catechist Assistant, a part-time Sales Associate, (just recently now) a Mission Volunteer, and adding anything else would be bit ‘too much to handle.’ But I realize that even more than that, I am a sister, a daughter, and a grand-daughter. That is my life-long vocation. In whatever vocation the Lord may call me to… I will always be a sister, daughter, and grand-daughter to my family.
The time I spent at the hospital with my Grandma will always have a special place in my heart, and in those moments I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but there right beside her. I learned so much about her and who she is as a woman. Instead of making an effort to preserve her strength because her health was declining, she would always endlessly repeat to me “you are beautiful” and “I love you,” and she meant it every single time. This brought me close to tears because she didn’t even have the energy to swallow or drink. Without a doubt, I know my grandmother is a woman of affectionate, sacrificial love.
If she wasn’t sharing kind words to me, she would be in prayer. She would repeatedly pray the “Our Father” and even pray “Ave Maria” in her sleep. I was dumbfounded, so in awe, so humbled. Before me was a woman painfully laying in bed–health deteriorating–and all she wanted to do was just love–love those around and love the Lord. And this led me to reflect on who my grandmother, my mom, and I were as daughters of God.
When I look at my mom and grandmother, they were both made by God to be resilient and fearless women. Both of them had gone through challenges that I could never imagine going through. My Grandma grew up through a war and raised five children in abject poverty. My mother was the first to graduate university and immigrate to a new country out of her whole family. So what does that mean for me? Am I fearless? Am I resilient? If you ask me, I will tell you a flat-out NO. My friends actually like to joke around and say that I “have no comfort zone.” But after my blunt “no,” I will proceed to say this: “No, I am not resilient. I am not fearless. But I know that because I am a daughter of God and that I am Loved, that the Lord is resilient through me, the Lord is fearless through me. I do not know where the Lord will take me, but looking at the lives of the women before me, I am affirmed that the Lord’s journey for me is Great and He will never leave me abandoned. It is a journey that I am excited for the Lord to unfold before me and walk with me.
AMDG
