Over the weekend I had the opportunity of attending a three-day two-night retreat run by the archdiocese. Friday evening I arrived at the venue with my packed bag about to open the door to the registration area when discomfort overcame me, telling me that I shouldn’t be there. 1) I felt as though I really had no reason to be at the retreat. 2) I felt that my time which would be used over the weekend would be better spent focusing on service responsibilities.
I was very discomforted so I decided to called a wise brotha to ask what I should do. Long story short, I stayed out of practicality (venue was far, nothing extreme to lose, might-as-well kind of attitude haha). That night before sleeping I really pondered upon why the Lord is making me stay. And he was pretty clear haha! I flipped to a random page in the Bible (scriptural roulette I believe it’s called lol), and I saw a verse that I had highlighted a long time ago. From the Gospel of Mark: “The apostles returned to Jesus and, told him all that they had done and taught. And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while.” I giggled a bit and said “hahaha okay.”
The Lord wants me to rest. It all came together when I continued to reflect.
Coming into the weekend, as unoccupied as my schedule seemed to me, I was quite busy. In retrospect I was also trying to make myself even more busy because I’m not working at the moment. This was to the point where I questioned whether or not I was really being excellent and putting Christ in everything I do. Also, this is was the first time I’ve ever chosen to attend a retreat alone. In the past I’ve never attended any sort of retreat without any friends or anyone I was familiar with. In a sense I was sent to a “lonely place” and it felt like the Lord wanted it that way. So when I read and meditated upon the verse, it made sense to me that the Lord wants me to relax and to refocus on him.
Throughout the weekend I still wanted to leave (which affirmed me that He wanted me to stay all the more haha stubborn me), but I knew He wanted me to stay. It was a very blessed weekend. I strongly felt as though the Lord pamper me and allowed me to rest alone with Him. I ate delicious food three times a day, got to meet different faces of Christ in other God-fearing men, had my own dormitory with its own bathroom, shower, table (I was honestly so happy hahaha), hiked while witnessing the Lord’s beautiful art in His creation, celebrated Mass every day, and did a rosary walk. I think my most treasured moments were with the Blessed Sacrament. I really loved this retreat because there was a 24/7 Adoration chapel on the floor below me. So most of my time was spent there, sitting with the God of the universe who wanted to love me. So I just let Him love me 😀
On the last day the Lord just reminded me through the Gospel, that He will not only always be there for me so I can rest in Him but that He wants me to rest in Him frequently (Matthew 11:28-30). My experience brought me to the realization that rest is necessary and that’s what he wants me to do as things begin to become busier for TNC.
An awesome story that caught my attention about conversation between a convicted Catholic and a priest:
Dude: “If the devil is working all the time 24/7 without rest then I too, should be working all the time against the devil without rest.”
Priest: “Really?”
Dude: “Yes!”
Priest: “Well if you are working all the time then you’re just like the devil.”
Hahaha! Time to sleep. JK. Praise the Lord!
Queen of Peace, pray for us. Jesus, God of peace, have mercy on us.
Totus Tuus