Rest in Me.

When I think of answering the call of the Lord, the fear that I have isn’t exactly rooted within the call itself but my ability to answer it.

This last MV SHOUT, there were random moments when I felt uneasy. I was constantly questioning the state of my heart and internally beating myself up over the smallest things. I found myself focusing on my weaknesses and limitations, as a person and as a sinner.

On our last night, we were asked to write out personal covenants to God and place them on a giant cross. I remember kneeling before that very cross and pouring my heart out to the Lord:

Lord, I don’t know why, but there are times when I feel so unworthy. I am filled with so much fear and anxiety that I honestly don’t know what to do. All I can do is lift everything up to you and place it at the foot of your cross.

By his wonderful grace, The Lord responded:

My child, let me take you back to my time on Earth…

The image of the Lord’s agony in Gethsemane entered vividly into my mind. As I tried to comprehend the image before me, I found myself reflecting on the torment the Lord must have experienced in his mind – the fear and the anxiety he must have felt, knowing what was about to come.

The Lord spoke clearly.

“Don’t act like I don’t understand what you go through. I understand everything. This is exactly why I gave you this cross so that you and I can be in communion with one another. Be free and rest in me. I understand everything. In the same way that I carried my cross and claimed my victory, so will you. My child, I am here with you in all your fears, your anxieties, and your weaknesses. Rest in me…”

Man, when the Lord comforts, he REALLY comforts <3

Lord, let your love be my strength. Let your love be my shield.