(July 25, 2016)
I’ve always said that I’ll catch up on my blog posts, but every time I end up getting caught up in the busy-ness of conference season and I usually forget about it. But today the Lord was like, “yo you better get started on those blog posts.” So He made it literally impossible to be distracted from blogging by breaking down my phone service (aka no data or way of contacting others), he didn’t allow my macbook to connect to the office’s wifi (aka no youtube or anime) and he placed all the FTPWs in a coordination meeting downstairs while I’m here upstairs in the family min room. And so from 12 until whenever the coordination meeting was done (it ended at around 2, I think), it was a time for just God and me, the two of us, with no distraction. In a way this was a rare time where I’m not preoccupied by anything else, and also a way to reflect on the past few hectic weeks.
Because of this alone time with Christ, there will be a surplus of blog posts from me on this day lol. So there will be some overlap between the Montreal SHouT and TNC reflections. But that’s okay haha.
Just to give a brief timeline as to how things panned out for me, 4 weeks ago (June 29-July 4) I was in Montreal for their SHouT. And the past 3 weeks were dedicated to TNC service. And now this week is dedicated to the Family Conference here in the region.
I’ve never realized how busy my schedule had gotten as I was saying yes to service after service. But the challenge came during the week of TNC, where the Lord challenged me to find the joy in all of the busy-ness of TNC.
I can say that I have a hard time saying no, and that I hate disappointing others or not meeting their expectations. (My household knows, shout outs to you Mr. Bombae). Whether it’d be giving people rides, doing favours for others, cutting their hair (shameless plug here), I’d be willing to do it. And for this TNC, the Lord definitely brought me to my limits. At one point during the week, I heard the questions: “Hey OJ, how are we getting to the venue tomorrow? Are you driving me? I was told to ask you about how I’m getting to the venue tomorrow?” from countless numbers of people. And with all these people needing rides and my desire to meet their requests, the stress began piling up and I couldn’t handle it anymore – I broke down. You can sort of imagine this slow breakdown unfold, imagine like the destruction of an abandoned apartment, each floor being detonated until the eventual collapse of the whole building. That’s what it felt like.
I’m not the type to typically break down in that manner, but at that moment, I questioned the Lord why am I doing this? Why did I say yes to this?
I couldn’t find the answer, instead I kept chugging through serving Him as best as I could. But why did I keep chugging through? Looking back, it came back as the reflection of this year’s theme to REJOICE.
What is joy? Simply put, its one’s awareness of God’s grace, it is grace recognized. And as missionaries we are called to be joyful missionaries. However how does one remain joyful despite circumstances that prevent us from being joyful? The answer that rang deep within me was simply to keep trusting in the Lord. Joy is not a feeling or emotion but it is a understanding that God’s grace is present. And if God always present in our lives, then all we are called to do is become aware of God’s grace. We experience joy because we choose to be joyful knowing that the Lord in His providence will be with us through it all.
Therefore keep fighting the fight, keep running the race. Keep entrusting and surrendering everything to the Lord because it is only through Him will we experience joy. A joyful missionary is a good missionary.
AMDG.