I frequent a website called reddit, which is basically a large forum where people of the internets gather to share funny pictures, short stories, links to other publications and so much more. The site is divided into sub-reddits, which help classify the myriad of daily posts. There exists a sub-reddit for Christianity which is identified simply as r/Christianity, and there is also a sub-reddit dedicated to atheism, labelled r/Atheism. If you search for r/Christianity+Atheism, both sub-reddits are congregated into a page that is so widely opposing that it’s actually quite disorienting. One post will be speaking of Jesus’ divinity, while the next post is a comic about zombie Jesus hunting people. Although this seems like a strange place to venture, it’s where the Lord has allowed me to grow in my faith.
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A few months ago, CFC-Youth Montreal was present in a meeting with Auxiliary Bishop Thomas Dowd. I forget the exact circumstances, but it came to a point where Bishop Tom felt compelled to share with us an experience which helped in understanding why he has chosen to be man of God. The story goes that Bishop Tom was away at a retreat of sorts, where he experienced a very real and personal encounter with Jesus. It would be impossible for me to describe the encounter he had, but the effect on his life is so clearly reflected in how he speaks of his faith in Jesus. For Bishop Tom, to deny that Jesus is real and present in his life would be like denying the fact that any of us in that meeting were real. That firm belief is something I admire.
After I heard his short testimonial I reflected on whether or not I have ever had such an experience. Sadly, to this day, I can’t say that I have. To encounter Jesus in such a real way is something I greatly desire, and even though I’ve had amazing spiritual experiences in CFC-Youth over the past 10 years, I still cannot fairly make the claim that Jesus is unquestionably real in my life.
So, if I cannot make this claim then why am I still a practicing Catholic?
Because it’s what I choose to believe.
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By exposing myself to places like r/Christianity+Atheism I’ve come to develop an attitude of skepticism when approaching any aspect of my faith. Most people generally frown upon skepticism, mostly because it can prevent someone from discovering the joys of other virtues, but I’ve somehow struck a healthy balance which enables my faith to grow in an informed and extremely personal way. It’s growth through inclusion rather than exclusion.
On r/Christianity+Atheism you’ll come across fundamentalist Christians, and conversely, atheists who are not afraid to step on people’s toes. Seeing daily posts that question Catholic truth is a struggle I willingly accept because I firmly believe, much like Pope Benedict XVI, that our generation must be even more firmly rooted in faith if we are to continue living out our faith in a world that is becoming increasingly faithless. What better way is there than being aware of the opposing questions, knowing the talking points, but most importantly, understanding how this information helps you be a good person.
Perhaps the Lord has demanded my lack of a real encounter as a necessary omission in my faith journey, which I suppose I’m thankful for because it has given me a reason to SEEK. I guess the common denominator that I share with my atheist brothers and sisters is that they’re simply individuals who are searching for something and have not yet found a satisfying answer, to which I applaud, for I would rather search and discover the truth behind Catholic Dogma rather than settling simply to what I’ve been told. Throughout this process I’ve developed a faith that is not 100% aligned with Catholicism, but has enabled a relationship with Jesus that goes beyond the fickle meaning of the word.
Lord, I want to meet you. Until then, I will continue to choose You.
– Jesse R.
P.S. For those brave enough to check out r/Christianity+Atheism, I’ve provided the link for you! http://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity+Atheism