True North Missionaries Journal

Sorry for the late posts…I had some complications with posting last week. BUT regardless, here’s just a quick reflection on a Pro life x All Saints Day Mass I was able to attend!

I was very touched by the homily given. So here’s a bit of it I was able to grasp on paper:

“The world says its a normal thing in life to abort a child. That it’s okay and that it just happens. This is how the devil works and that sometimes we don’t want to hear it. That we don’t like to hear unpleasant things. But this is the reality of where we are today. That the devil is working very hard to take away our responsibilities and realizations that everyday life is being taken away.

From the start of conception, there is already another trinity that is forming life. That the part from man, and the part from woman, is combined thus forming not just life in the stomach, but a SOUL. That is already more than enough to define life. That not 20 days after, not months after, but the MOMENT of conception, there is a soul.

Its no coincidence that this pro life mass falls on All Saints Day. That we are not just celebrating the Saints we know of today, but the Saints of the FUTURE. This is why the devil works so hard in wanting to get rid of life before it is even born. We need to fight for all life. At every stage. Everyday, thousands of the unborn are aborted. It would take days to wipe out Vancouver if those unborn were us in replacement. Let that sink in the reality of how many Saints aren’t being able to love here on earth.”

Beautiful. It really affirms us as CFC-Youth serving in the greater family ministries and the Catholic community because it shows that we are protecting life at ALL its stages. From Womb to tomb. KFC to CFC, SOLD, HOLD etc etc…Beautiful.

It also affirms us as CFC-Youth that we need to be advocates for life. Everyone is called to sainthood. Even the unborn. We could be saving the lives of the future church leaders, our own community leaders, to Saints…

We as Catholic Missionaries/Leaders in our community are all products of a greater love for life…Makes you appreciate life a bit more eh?

Deo Gloria

 

Serving with these kids at the Praise and Fashion Workshop of CFC KFC Holy Land was a great reminder of simplicity (especially in faith). Although it was intended for senior kids, it was nothing short from perfect witnessing to this with junior kids.

I was to guide the kids in posing and their Ate Charlaine was to guide their walk because they were too young to memorize the steps and poses. Perhaps this is the way we must allow ourselves to be guided sometimes. It’s easy to get caught up in memorizing steps and preparing all the details beforehand that we forget to catch the joys and leadings of the Lord in each moment. But if we let go of our worries and trust in the leading of our Father in each of our callings, then perhaps, like these children, we’ll become capable of seeing not only the task, but the Love in each action and deed. My prayer is simple…

Lord, I ask that You always bless us with a childlike faith…

Amen.

I had a conversation with a friend while walking to a bubble tea place. A question that came up while we were sharing our lives to each other was, “What if we know everything?”. I started imagining my life with this question in my head. That means, I’d know exactly what I’m going to do in the future, or I’d know exactly what will be coming at me and I would know exactly how to handle things. No uncertainties, doubts, surprises, need to surrender – I am all-knowing.

Really what came to me was, “What’s the sense of living?”. If I knew everything, what’s left for me to hope for? Would I even know what hope is?

I used to be a big worrier. I still am sometimes actually. But I was the kind of person who had the mindset that if I’m not worrying, then I must be doing something wrong or I must be doing less than I’m supposed to. I found comfort in worrying because it was an indicator of care for me. Until a time came when I thought I had everything going perfectly but in reality I didn’t, simply because of the fact that I don’t know everything.

I don’t know everything. In fact, I don’t know a lot of things. But I realized that there is a certain beauty in not knowing. Because when I acknowledged that I don’t hold what is to come is when I can honestly say that I have trusted the One who knows. God does not expect me to have the answers to all the questions, to know what to do all the time, to know what to say all the time, so why should I expect myself to do all these things? I find beauty in unforeseen occurrences, conversations, meetings, deviations, uncertainty, because it is through these things that I know that the Lord is directing my life. There’s beauty in accepting the limits of being human – it directs us to the greatness of God.

I still worry sometimes. I panic and get frustrated when things don’t happen the way I think they should. But I take these as constant reminders from God to breathe, enjoy uncertainty, submit to humility, and surrender.

 
Thank You, Lord, for the countless times You’ve reminded me of Your greatness. Strengthen my faith, give me peace and joy amidst uncertainties. Mother Mary, melt me and mold me.

The topic of mission is a very touchy and personal subject. Although we see and hear the word almost everywhere in our community, it’s still a very intriguing subject.

How often we hear the word mission ready and no matter how many times we say we are mission ready, are we re ally wholeheartedly, mind, heart and soul readily available? Personally, the amount of YES’s I’ve said and done, there is always that hesitation that follows along.

I take into consideration the “things I bring” with me when I say yes. And the things I leave behind when I say yes. Even if I do not want to. For example; my family. One very topic heavy subject that I will always bring with me, in my thoughts and in my heart when I think about mission. But physically is the hardest thing to do. If or when the Lord calls me to greater mission, the sacrifice of leaving my family behind almost scares me – to the core. But I have yet to know the reason why it’s so difficult for me to accept that.

The fear of my loved ones not being taken care of is almost a slap to our Father’s face. I doubted Him and continue to doubt Him whenever my heart feels uneased..

I was watching a (Filipino) show and they sang this song,

Huwag kang matakot
‘Di mo ba alam nandito lang ako
Sa iyong tabi
‘Di kita pababayaan kailan man
At kung ikaw ay mahulog sa bangin
Ay sasaluhin kita

Do not be afraid | Didn’t you know that I’m right by your side | I will never forsake you | And if you ever fall off (a cliff) | I will catch you

This particular episode, the family was going through a rough time. Not only do they emphasize on “kapit bisig” (to show solidarity as a whole) together as a family, they make it known that the Lord will always take care and provide for them.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

The Lord chose me before I chose Him. He knew how everything was going to play out before I even had the time to start discerning about it. He will take care of me, and my family. Because He loves me. Our God loved us first and He wouldn’t bring us to where we are without taking care of the people we love most.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

Lord, I trust in You.

The Act of Contrition is such a beautiful prayer usually said in the confessional before receiving absolution. It has taught me and continues to teach me what repentance is.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for
having offended you, and I detest
all my sins, because of Your just
punishments, but most of all because
they offend You, my God, who are
all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of
Your grace, to sin no more and to
avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.

“O my God”

Repentance starts with focusing on Whom I’m deciding to turn to. It starts with God and an authentic movement in my heart of sorrow and contrition, recognizing Whom I have offended.

“I am heartily sorry for having offended you”

The word that always sticks out to me is “heartily.” It has to come from the core and depths of my heart! And I must recognize that I have offended the One who loves me as if I’m the only one to love. I have offended God Who is always faithful and always true to me but I still decided to offend Him.

“and I detest all my sins”

I’m reminded that to truly turn away from sin is to detest it. To hate it. I pray for the desire to revile my sins and feel disgusted by them.

“because of Your just punishments”

God is love, and love requires justice. That is why there has to be heaven and hell. It wouldn’t be love if I didn’t have the choice to choose not to love. The deathly consequences of sin is what I bring upon myself. I choose punishment and hell when I choose to sin. It shows I prefer something else than God, and anything else is death. Though, detesting sin because of His just punishments is imperfect contrition. It’s definitely a start, but I need to ask for the grace to have perfect contrition…

“but most of all because they offend You, my God, who are all-good and deserving of all my love”

This is perfect contrition, to be truly sorry for my sins because they offend my God who is all-good and deserving of all my love. How can I lash out on the One who loves me the most? God truly doesn’t deserve my infidelity when He is so faithful.

“I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace”

I firmly resolve. This is a matter that I should not take lightly. My attitude should not be “I’ll see what happens,” but “I firmly resolve.” The fact is that I have cut myself off from life and love. I have died a spiritual death. The death of deaths. Jesus died for me, I can’t be mediocre with what this means for me and what God has made available, namely, eternal life. Though, everything is in vain if not done in His grace. I must be humble and admit that I cannot stand for one second if not with the help of His grace. I cannot do any good thing if I don’t allow Jesus to mercifully do it through me. I could “speak with the tongues of men and angels, but if I have not love, I gain nothing. I am but a noisy gong or a clanging symbol.” Meaningless. I need His grace. It’s His grace that must firm my resolve and act through me on the road to repentance and healing.

“to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.”

I must have the posture of St. Dominic Savio when he said “death rather than sin.” This is repentance: to have a total change in life, a complete turn around, from a sinner to a saint in the heart. With this line of the prayer, I must ask God to truly illumine my intellect to help me see how I fall so easily to sin so that I can have a battle plan in avoiding them. I must pray for the grace to nip sin in the bud rather than be foolish and dare to to wait for the temptation to fully mature by entertaining those incognito suggestions by the devil. Who am I to think I have the strength to go toe to toe with an ancient enemy who knows the inner workings of human nature; who is the father of lies and deceiver of hearts. I am nothing. I am weak, and my track record proves it. Only by the help of His grace and mercy, I need to avoid temptation even before it begins, and I must be scrupulous about it.

~~~

I really appreciate it when the priest gives me a difficult penance to do because I need to break out of the monotony of all my sins that has caused a hardened heart. I have realized that that first act of penance is but (and should be) the first act of many. It is only the beginning of the complete change in my life. It’s the first beginning of repentance. It’s scary to know that when I go to confession, the Lord is not asking me to “kind of” turn away from my sins, and only give Him back “some” of my heart. His love demands a complete turning away and a total surrender of my heart. My brokenness fears this because of my lack of faith. That if I give everything—truly everything to God—and if I choose to completely turn away from my sins with the help of His grace, then the doors of my heart would be truly open to His merciful healing presence, and my life would drastically change. Praise God though because I guess that’s the whole point.

“Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life.” –Benedict XVI

May St. Gerard Majella, patron of a good confession, be and pray for us in that confessional.

St. Gerard, Patron of a Good Confession,
who gave courage to souls whom fear and shame had overcome;
who gave sorrow to their hearts,
resolution to their wills,
truth to their faltering lips;
help me to make a good Confession.

Enable me to know my sins,
to be truly sorry for them,
and to be firmly resolved,
with God’s grace, never to sin again.

Help me to confess my sins humbly and sincerely,
to confess them in the spirit of faith,
as confessing them to Our Lord Himself.

Stand by me in this Confession, O gentle Saint,
an angel of God sent to free me from sin.

Amen. 

Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us!