The Burden of Business, the Response of Love

Apr 14, Toronto

One of the struggles I’ve been find in my life recently is that I always need to be productive or I’m doing something wrong. As a CFC-Youth Leader, I have just gotten use to always being pushed to my limits in terms of my patience, and energy. Most of the time I feel like I need to be pushed, that I’m not allowed to rest, lest I be wasting my time. I can fall into a trap if that I’m not incredibly tired, that if I’m not staying up until midnight, and waking up 4:30, then I’m not giving enough of myself. I do all this with the assumption that I have to do all this, and that this is part of my service to the Lord, that I have to do this, that I’m not allowed to enjoy my life. Saying it allowed I’ve realized how ridiculous that sounds, when I first started serving the Lord it was because it was a response to the joys of being loved by Him, but I’ve wrapped myself so much in the seemingly need to do things, that I’ve forgotten this. That the not only is my service a response to love, but that it is love itself that the Lord ask me to serve Him. I look at my calendar, and see how full it becomes, but as I remember that the Lord has blessed my life I see this hours as gifts from God, that the hours are ways in which He wants me to see how He wants to love me.

Friends, remember that in all things at all times it is by the design of God that you experience love

“Surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” – JER 29:11

“I Will Give you Rest”

Six months have come and gone and just like that, half of my first year serving as the community-based area head is now over.

Serving in the GTA is most definitely a privilege and an honour but it can definitely feel very overwhelming at times. Despite the many victories we have won with God this year, I have found it personally challenging to pause and thank God for all the blessings He has given my household and I.

This in turn has also made it difficult for me to find the joys in service. Don’t get me wrong, I love whom I serve with and more importantly the God that I serve for, but when schedules start piling up and there are deadlines for events to be met, I can’t help but feel like service is more of a chore over a joyful offering of my time to God.

Regardless of feel this way, I knew in my heart to not lose hope. I also knew that God was calling me to prayer whenever these feelings would resurface. This problem has actually been one of the silent prayers of my heart for quite some time now. And just like the great and funny God that He is, God answered this prayer by meeting me where I was, at SHOUT.

Now if you don’t know what SHOUT is, it is a summer house training where all the area core leaders come together for five days. We listen to various talks,  participate in different workshops and complete tasks around the house with our assigned groups. We are also challenged to grow as servant-leaders for our respective areas as well.

Reflecting back to the training now, this year’s SHOUT was unlike the rest. If you’ve heard about the previous SHOUT’s from before, you may have heard people throw around words such as: boot-camp, tiring, physically draining, emotional, and so on. But what made this SHOUT so special was that we had so much free time to spare.

At first, I was confused. During these moments where we had nothing in particular to do, I found myself itching to do something. Anything! Coming from such a busy and hectic area, I just couldn’t sit still and even felt guilty if I was just sitting around.

It wasn’t until the third day of SHOUT where I realized that God was actually  gifting my household and I, rest. Now when I say “rest,” I do mean sleep (thank You, Lord!), but I am also referring to being at peace and finding joy in the little and subtle things too.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

For months, I have been complaining to God asking for a break, a time-out, or even just a moment where I could just lay-low and catch my breath and here He was, giving it to me.. and my household!

Throughout the five days of SHOUT, especially during all the “rest” moments of the training, I have never laughed as much or enjoyed spending time with my co-missionaries and friends more than I did there. If there was free time, my household and I were either dancing (s/o to Tita Betina and Tito Josh for the hip-hop lessons), writing songs (s/o to the Ablaze-boys haha), or just spending quality time with one another. I truly felt the Holy Spirit working through us in these moments.

And even though there are technical things that must be done in service, it is also good for us to take time to rest. For it is in rest where we can re-charge and prepare ourselves to be 100% for the Lord.

Thank You, God for hearing my prayers and for answering them during your own perfect timing. In the moments where I may feel too stressed or overwhelmed, may I have the wisdom to know when to rest. I also want to thank You for giving my household and I time to relax and enjoy one another’s company during SHOUT. May our hearts grow in passion to serve you more faithfully and may worship you more joyfully through our words and our bodies.

Amen.

Danielle Lape

 

 

Seek Comfort

It was not easy to reflect this week. Usually I would just let it come to me but this week, it just would not. So I prayed to God and asked Him for guidance and this is what came to my heart:

In times of trouble, seek the Lord. In times of doubt, seek the Lord. In times of happiness, seek the Lord. Where there is darkness, seek the Lord. Where there is light, seek the Lord. When it is hard to go on, seek the Lord. When it is easy and there is no trouble, seek the Lord. Find comfort in everything that you do and lift it up to the Lord. 

– Christian Medeiros

Reminder

So, this past couple weeks was really busy for me, I didn’t even realize that the month of May is almost over. Called in for work, preparing HH and workshop, and sisters birthday are some of the things that made my life little hectic than usual in a short period of time.

Because of these events, I failed to give myself some form of rest. So, when I felt exhausted by the end of the day I forget or lose the motivation to talk to God(pray) because in some way in my head I wanted some “me time”. I realize now that it was very selfish of me because God would never or will never say no or push us aside if He is tired. If you think about all His sufferings, He still thought about us during those times, and with all the prayers in the world He still listens and gives time to everyone and that’s amazing!

Being a Catholic, I know and I’ve been told that is not easy but I know it’s worth it so I just need to remind myself again and again to be stronger and push through because the person that I’m doing for is worth the struggle.

I know this reflection is not the out of the ordinary. Everyone has experience some shape or form when life gets busy, you forget God a little, blinded by the “real world” because you forget to stop and take in what God has been constantly blessing you. Even though we may be warned or told many times to push through and be strong it’s easy to fall through that hole and not realize it resulting to be harder to get out of the whole once you realize you’re too deep.

We need to be able to recognize once we start losing God in our perspective and remind ourselves the reason why we have our life, our “busy lives”, is because of Him. So, let’s give him the time and praise that He deserve and blessing that need to be thank.

Gabby Pador

Wednes-dates

Since the beginning of this year, as part of my personal journey to be truly Christ-centered, one of the things I set out to do was go to adoration more. It is a practice that I only really started to appreciate and grow in last year. One of the moments that really hit me was the realization that daily mass and exposition of the Blessed Sacrament isn’t readily available in some areas as it is for many of us here in the Greater Toronto Area. I took for granted the opportunities to attend mass every single day. That’s an opportunity to literally encounter Christ in the Body, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

Even though I may not have attended daily mass, I still had the opportunity to encounter Christ on a given day through adoration. On campus I could have gone to the Catholic chaplaincy where the Lord was present in the tabernacle. Once I was home more, I became aware of how my local parish of St. Issac Jogues had the exposition of the Blessed Sacrament after the 7:30am mass right up until the 7:00pm mass every Wednesday. If I am home doing “nothing”, then I have no excuse as to why I can’t find 1 hour of my day to go visit Jesus. So since January, I make it a point to go every Wednesday I possibly can, my weekly date with Jesus, my Wednes-dates.

What is Eucharistic Adoration?

It is where you adore and worship Christ who is present through the Eucharist. This can be done where the Blessed Sacrament is exposed and held in a monstrance (refer to blog title photo), or when the Eucharist is present in a tabernacle.

What do you do at adoration?

This is always something I struggled with at first. Do I pray? Am I allowed to ask for things? If I’m done praying do I sit in silence… my mind runs a million miles an hour so I have all these thoughts flooding my brain, so I guess I’m not doing it right?!?!

Well there’s no one “perfect” way of adoring the Lord. First and foremost you are there to adore and worship Christ in the splendid glory of his Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Personally I start by prostrating before the Blessed Sacrament before entering a pew or sitting on a chair. I like to kneel majority of the time, but it is perfectly fine if you sit. Do what makes you comfortable and what is within your physical capabilities. However I think it is important that you remain aware of your posture as you are before the Lord.

If you are unsure what to do, you can get an adoration guide which has a series of prayers and reflections you can do. Again personally I start by acknowledging God and meditating upon the mysteries of the rosary. I like to do the rosary at the beginning because I ask Our Lady’s intercession to help guide me closer to her Son, Jesus, and from there I have my conversation (thanksgiving, petitions, general prayers, rants…). I sometimes take the time to journal and reflect.

The hardest part, but I think a crucial part, is also to take the time in silence. To try and listen to what God may be trying to tell you. It’s hard especially when you don’t know how to listen in the silence. Many people are uncomfortable in the silence, myself included at times. But I challenge myself to sit and listen. If I hear nothing or feel nothing, at the very least I know I am spending time in the presence of God and that alone is enough.

How long do I have to stay?

You don’t “have” to do anything. No-one is forcing you. The best part about going to adoration on your own is that it’s on your time and at your pace. There’s no check-point that say you should have completed 5 Our Father’s, 7 Glory Be’s, figure out your entire life purpose and solve global warming within 5minutes or else you’re doing it wrong. You could spend hours in adoration and still leave without any answers. I think what is important again is your posture through it all. Generally speaking, if you practice Holy Hour, which is spending 1 hour before the Blessed Sacrament, you are granted plenary indulgence.

I spend at least 1 hour because of what Jesus said during the agony in the garden of Gethsemane,

 Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, “So, could you not stay awake with me one hour?” – Matt. 26:40

However I can easily spend over 2hours if I’m lost in contemplative prayer. I could just as easily only spend 15minutes if I realize I am running late for something but still wanted to stop in and say “Hi” to Jesus.

Why go to adoration?

Honestly, I don’t know if there are any hard and fast mandatory rules about having to go to adoration from the Catholic Church. I do know that what makes Eucharist adoration different is that it is a personal form of worship. Whereas celebrating a mass is a communal form of worship. We are called to grow both communally and personally. I believe Pope Saint John Paul II has some beautiful writings about it. I myself am still growing and learning.

I personally go to adoration because it is where Christ is. How can anyone develop a relationship with someone if you never take the time to see them? Sure things like long distance relationships exist, but if you had the opportunity to see your significant other and never take the time, then don’t be surprised if your significant other cuts you out of their life. I mean similarly, we can pray to God anywhere and anytime, but that’s just like long distance communication. When I go to adoration, I am meeting my significant other face to face. Christ will always be my constant out of all relationships I ever have and will always be significant, whether I choose to acknowledge it or not. However if I choose to keep away from God, then how can our relationship develop and grow? How can God reveal the plans He has for me? How will I know His love for me, even in the hardest of times when I do not feel his presence?

Adoration is where I come face to face with Jesus, and I am able to grow in agape love.

Does it work?

Yes. In God’s timing. All my prayers, heart aches, trials and tribulations, hopes and dreams – from this past year alone I can see a definite increase in how God is working with me, in me and for me. It’s not to say you go to adoration, pray to win the lottery and wake up a millionaire (although, hey, always worth the shot… lol) Rather after dedication and constantly going to adoration I can see how God has changed me and is still continuously working on me. My prayers are being answered in His perfect timing (even though sometimes I may not like the waiting part) but because I know that He is taking care of me, it allows me to hope and for my faith to be made stronger.

In Christ,

Meagan Webb

Be Grateful, Always

This past Sunday, I attended a celebration for a Tito who just recently got ordained to become a deacon. This Tito is someone I have looked up to over the years. From a past Couples for Christ coordinator to a now faithful servant of the church, it was such a blessing to celebrate such an occasion.

What was even greater though, was that this event brought old and new faces together once again. At the celebration I saw my past couple coordinators, counterparts, and CFC-Youth friends who have all impacted my growth in the community over the years. At first, it felt so strange to be together under the same roof again, but the feelings of joy and excitement overshadowed it.

“Praise the Lord! O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever.” – Psalm 106:1

Sometimes when life gets too hectic and our schedules become too busy, it can be very difficult to reflect on God’s goodness on our lives. I will be honest, the past week was not the easiest for me, which made it extremely difficult to see, hear or feel God working in my life. However, through attending this Tito’s event, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness to me over the years through being reunited with these wonderful individuals again.

My experiences of being a HSB, chapter and cluster head were not always the most grand or stress-free of moments BUT because of the love and support I received from these people, I was able to survive and get through it all (With God by our sides as well, of course).

As simple as this reflection may be, I just want to thank God for allowing me to be a witness at this event. Last Sunday reminded me to be grateful of all the past moments in my life, good or bad, because they have shaped me in becoming the servant leader that I am today. Also, I was reminded to never take the friendships that I have made in this community for granted. For each person that I was reunited with, I have felt and seen Christ through every single one of them. They have shared Christ’s love to me and I hope that I have been able to do the same at one point of their lives as well.

Lord, thank You for this much-needed reminder to be grateful always!

Amen.

Danielle Lape

Trust the Process

It’s approaching about a month and a half since the YFC International Conference in Manila. By now I should have all my photos posted, vlogs edited and a whole ton of reflections written in my journal. Well in fact, I have little to none of those things accomplished.

The first week I came back home was filled with rescheduled doctor appointments and meetings. As well for almost 3 & 1/2 weeks I was sick with what I sum up to as a nasty cold. I don’t really know if jet lag had an effect on me or not, if anything it was probably in the form of that pesky cold. One thing I have been actively doing everyday is job hunting and that my friends has been an interesting process.

In a brief conversation with a sister last week I realized a couple of things. My attention and priorities were so hyper focused on getting a job that I didn’t take time to process or appreciate what I had experienced personally at ICON. Nor am I taking full advantage of my situation. Generally speaking I am an optimistic person. Whenever someone has a problem or underrate themselves I can’t help but to try to put things into perspective. I can see hope and I can see God working in others. If I were to identify my favourite books, movies or even songs you would see the overall connecting theme of an underdog (with a little bit of faith, hope, trust and determination!) overcoming all odds. Seriously, I believe anything is possible! Why? Because God can make ALL things possible.

However when it comes to my personal matters, it’s sometimes (a lot more times than I care to admit) easy to deject my dreams. It’s not that I don’t dream for myself but there are “hindrances” that arise. Sometimes I become too realistic to the point of talking myself out of even trying or entertaining a dream further. Other times it is finances, personal insecurities, fear of failing, fear of being judged, and even times where as much as I want to do something I mentally break down and can’t. Let’s call it my slump days. A slump day for me is when I find it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s when I recess into my mind and recall everything that is not going right in my life. It is when I struggle with my relationship with Christ. It is when I struggle to find the motivation to do anything. It is a dark trap where I know I should be more grateful, I know that I am blessed, yet still I struggle to find my self-worth and any sense of joy, peace and love. It’s where I sometimes want to reach out to people but just can’t and don’t know how, even though I know it’s just by starting a conversation. The scariest part is that these slump days can come right after the best days of my life. They happen randomly and I don’t know why. I know this sounds hella dark and bleak, but it’s an honest part of what I go through.

For that reason I was scared to let my guard down even for a moment. After ICON I knew I was taken up to a spiritual high and I sort of wanted to just spring off that high and keep up for as long as possible. But in doing so I was by passing everything that is beautiful and awe striking at the top. Metaphorically, instead of taking in the view at the top of the mountain, I sort of just kept walking and moving around because I know once I take in the view, the inevitable decent will begin. (I mentioned I was an optimist earlier, right? Well I’m also a bit cynical, it’s a clashing dynamic)

I feel like I’ve been running in a circle, getting nowhere and not taking in the view of ICON. I started to take in the view last week by drawing an image of Our Lady that I had in my head. Despite my insecurities and lack of skill in drawing, I took the time to do it, and I did it on a whim to remind myself it’s worth taking the time while I have it. If I don’t seize the opportunity to reflect and take in all that I have experienced, it’s just going to pass me by. There were so many affirmations and messages the Lord had for me from this experience and to bypass it would be an injustice to God. I need to face my fear and not be afraid of the decent. It will happen when it is time to happen, but for now God has given me this view and I should take it in.

In Christ,

Meagan Webb