True North Missionaries Journal

As we made our way to New Brunswick, I began reading one of my books, while a co-missionary was playing Lighthouse CD’s through a laptop, somehow connected to an amp, plugged into a converter in the back of the van (mission ready van!!!), as another co-missionary shared some of her family’s greatest dreams fulfilled through graces given in their service to the Lord.

I sat, basking in a banquet of faith and knowledge, and was reminded of a few simple things…

DON’T BE AFRAID TO TRY SOMETHING NEW.

I have often heard that “ignorance of knowledge is ignorance of faith.” I haven’t always been the best at reading books, or research. Sometimes, when it isn’t the kind of book or topic I like, it takes me forever to complete. A seemingly good read would begin to slowly make its way to the back of the shelf, remaining forgotten for years, only to be opened ___ years later to find a random bookmark beyond pages I had forgotten.

I have recently began to appreciate the creative library of knowledge God has placed into this world. One that is archived in the hearts of others, in the passing seconds of each breath every day, in the pages of paper – glossed, newly published, and in some old treasures, and in the seconds of a disc or pixels on a screen. Knowledge, wherever it roots itself is a gift from God and a newer revelation of His existence in mankind and in all creation. So I have taken up completing everything I start, no matter how difficult.

In every completed page, my faith grows in knowledge, and falls away from ignorance, allowing me to defend Love with love and confidence in the Lord, and the “mustard seed” continues to take its root and grow.

It doesn’t necessarily always matter how long it takes to complete the task. What matters is that whatever God has given us is constantly fulfilling the purpose He had given us in each moment of our lives, no matter how slow or fast. And in this fulfillment, there is contentment. In joy and in sorrow, there is contentment.

“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may accomplish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20: 24)

Where has this motivation bloomed from? Scripture. One of the greatest doctors (St. Jerome) of the Catholic Church once said…

“Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.”

And from the treasures in Scripture, a seed of curiosity – of wanting to know more – began. Now, no matter how difficult it is sometimes, I have learned to joyfully persevere. In saying so, the task becomes more joyful because beyond the difficulty, I am coming to know Christ more and more.

TOTUS TUUS.

“The proper act of the intellect is to know, and the proper act of the will is to love. And so man’s perfection and chief purpose in life will be to come to know the highest and most intelligible being and love the greatest good. In other words, man’s purpose is to come to know and love God.”

As I was going through my Facebook feed today, all I noticed were photos of my friends graduation photos. I couldn’t help but feel a little blue and think “that could’ve been me” and suddenly all this doubt went through my mind thinking of how different my life would have turned out if ever I ended up graduating in my program, Early Childhood Education this April – man, was I excited to start applying for Teachers College right after..

But that’s the thing, we can always imagine and try to predict what will happen tomorrow, or the next few days, weeks, months from now.. there will always be that change that comes unexpectedly. As I went through that 1 minute of slight emotional fallback, I failed to realize how much He has blessed me aside from allowing me to graduate on time.

This one year semi-hiatus from school made me value my (career) vocation even more. I’ve had my times of set backs, and I doubted my own abilities, but one thing the Lord continued to tell me is that, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” (Psalm 32:8).  I focused so much of my time with my family and service – especially in Kids for Christ, it truly affirmed me that this was something I wanted to continue doing. To teach.

It’s a long road ahead but it’s something I’m ready to start climbing, running and trekking for. At the end of it all, I’m SO happy for my friends and colleagues I’ve met within the past three years who are graduating. I know with their vast knowledge and experience, they will do great things that will inspire and aspire those around them… Especially the children of tomorrow.

Lord as for me, I am looking forward to this next step in my life, and I look forward in doing what I like to do the most, help children and families’ needs. Whether it be in the educational field or through mission. The Lord is funny and mysterious that way! I can only wait and see where He places me.

Recently, I had a friend move far away (California) to a secluded town (Tehachapi) to pursue a beautiful vocation. I’m overjoyed to say that my friend will be entering St. Joseph’s Priory to become a Norbertine Sister. I am filled with so many different emotions, from regret that I didn’t spend more time being her friend, to immense joy for knowing such an amazing sister whom has taught me to love the Lord more just by being herself. Nevertheless, her departure is my wake-up call to actively discern my vocation. The fearlessness it takes to pursue my vocation is something I still need to attain, but I remember she told me that listening to this song helped her in her discernment, in building up her fearlessness. I now listen to this song every day, because it reminds me that I have decided to follow Jesus, and there is no turning back. She has helped me realize the importance of seeking my vocation. Because as I seek, I would not only find my vocation, but I will find God.

My Lord and my God, help me find the beauty in my vocation just as you have done for my friend. Help me to love more, pray more, and search more for Your calling. I pray for my friend, that You may continue to make her fall in love with You with every living moment of her life. Although we may be far away from each other, and communication is extremely minimal, I pray that we are united in You. 

My friend, you won’t ever see this, but thank you. I can’t thank you enough.

All the glory to God

This week St-Joseph had a feast day, and I was blessed to attend Mass at the Oratory in Montreal.  The homily was given by the Archbishop, and was centered on St-Joseph being un homme confiance.  In english, two meanings to the word “confiance”…a man of “trust and confidence”.  The message was simple:

We are called to be a people of Joy.  In order to do that, however, we must first be a people of  Confiance…of Trust and Confidence. 

Do I Trust the Lord with every fibre of me? Because if I do, then I can be confident “He’s got my back”.  He knows my every worry and is taking care of it.  I can be Joyful.

I was never called to be father of Christ (#bigrole #yougoSt-Joe), but every day in Mission I encounter so many worries, weaknesses, unworthiness… so many reasons to Trust. So many ways I can built in the virtue of Joy!

“The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him!” (Lamentations 3:24)

During Adoration last Monday, close to where I was kneeling was a statue of Jesus with one hand pointing to his heart and the other reaching; a gesture of  patient invitation.

Since I have moved to Toronto, I can (with a goofy smile stretching across my face as I type this) say that I have fallen, madly and deeply in love with Him. It was as though my “yes” to move was a deeper yes into taking our relationship one step further. It became increasingly evident that what was a big leap for me, was in fact, a big leap for us.

I have gone on trips alone in the past, and during these trips, I walk through the city holding His hand. This, essentially, is what the move became. Being without my family and leaving my comfort zone meant I had to hold on that much tighter to the hand in mine. As I kneeled there before Him, I opened my eyes and looked up and the sculpture was there, with its hand so close to me. I took a good look at it and realized… in the hand reaching for mine, there are wounds.

The hand I hold has wounds.

The hand in mine has bled.

The hand in mine has been pierced.

In my hand, I’m holding wounds.

And as I let this thought wash over me, I realized, this is what Lent is. To hold His wounds. To be there with Him and prepare with Him. I can’t be there only for his Resurrection. I need to be there with Him in the Garden of Gethsemane. I need to be there with Him as He gets ridiculed, as He gets crowned with thorns, as He endures unimaginable pain. I need to be there in his Crucifixion.

That’s what love is, isn’t it? To not only be present in the other’s joy, but to be there in their pain.

And because I must be there… I too, must prepare. Lent isn’t meant to be easy.