True North Missionaries Journal

Confido is one of many ways to say “Trust” in Latin. It is a verb. It means to confide, believe, have confidence in, rely on, depend… Trust.

This whole year I feel the Lord calling me to trust Him. I have been very much trying and so far it led me to experiences beyond my imagination. From the quiet moments in silence to the grand journies around the world. In all instances I was able to encounter Christ in a personal way.

It has taught me so far to keep hope and continue to trust in God. But trust is something I realized we sometimes hyperfocus onto one aspect of our lives.

It is easy to say, I trust God that I will be financially okay because He blessed me with a job when I needed it the most. Then to build on that experience moving forward in times that may get financially tough. And although you completely trust God in that aspect, you might turn around and be like, “oh man I’m never gonna find someone to spend the rest of my life with – I’m going to be alone forever!” *insert crying emoji, heartbreak emoji*

That is not complete trust in God. At most it is only partial trust, but I would argue that’s not even trust. Let’s say you have a friend who you hang out with a lot and become close with. You have a special bond. However you go out in public and see this friend but don’t want to acknowledge them or have anything to do with them while in public. What kind of friendship is that?

It’s not a true friendship. In fact, if that were to happen to me I would question the friendship and probably cut it off. Our friendship shouldn’t be based on certain circumstances or restrictive rules.

Such is trust. You can’t only trust God between the hours of 9am-5pm. Nor should you trust God will grant you the ability to play the guitar but not the understanding and knowledge to pass an exam. When it comes to working out at a gym, getting better at a sport or talent, do you keep God in the equation? At the center of it all?

All those things require an active participation on your behalf. To get better at playing the guitar you need to practice. To pass an exam you need to study. The more you go to the gym, the more you practice a sport or talent the more results you get. It takes action. Trust is an action.

Complete trust is to confide in the Lord all your hopes, dreams, goals and woes. It is to believe that with the grace of God, ALL things are possible; whether it be passing a course you haven’t been doing well in all term or becoming the next Olympic gold medalist. Complete trust is to have confidence that even when you can not hear, feel or see God you know He is present and will never abandon you. It is having the humility to recognize that in life we will always need to rely and depend on God.

God isn’t only present in one aspect of your life. He knows you better than anyone else in the world. He knows you better than you know yourself. I am still learning to trust God with everything I have and with all that I am. But if it is one thing I know, is that, trust is NOT limiting God or putting Him into a box of what He can and cannot do.

Be patient. Be open. Confido.

In Christ,

Meagan Webb

This past Monday I had my convocation. After four years of hard work, perseverance and time spent commuting, I can finally say that I accomplished one of my biggest goals in life; surviving university.

While I was sitting beside my fellow classmates during graduation, I could not help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. If you are currently in post-secondary or have already graduated, you know just how challenging university can be at times.

During my first year of school, I experienced many moments of self-doubt and wondered if the program I picked was the right choice for me. It was not the easiest of times and I really struggled to be the model of excellence that I strived to be. Despite these negative feelings, I had family and friends who supported me all the way to my convocation. These people prayed for me whenever I had an exam, were accountable to me in making sure that I finished my assignments on time, and reminded me the importance of balancing schoolwork AND my self-care. I’d like to think that a big reason why I was able to walk across the stage with a degree in my hand was because of their unfailing support and guidance.

As I reflect back on that day, all I can hear is the Lord whispering to my heart: “Danielle, you are loved!”

I am affirmed that God sent these people in my life for a specific reason and I am truly grateful for the Lord gifting me such a wonderful group to rely on. Life is truly not meant be spent alone!

Thus, my prayer this week is that everyone will be able to find a supportive system that they know they can trust and depend on. God wants to share His love with us and one of the ways this can be done is through the relationships we have with our family members and friends. It is within these Christ-centered relationships where we are able to experience a joy unlike another other. And so, I pray that more people can have a taste of this joy in their lives.

Amen.

Danielle Lape

Am I tired? So much has happened in just the last six months alone, but yet there is so much to do. So I ask myself, am I tired? I caught myself today thinking, there’s six months left… thank God. Quickly I re-evaluated what the heck I just said. Why did I say that? It’s crazy how sometimes I just say things that are I am thinking out loud but not really taking in what I am saying. With the business of everything, living in a area where everything is so fast paced. Where at times, we tend to be very impatient and where we want things done right away. It’s hard, and I don’t blame anyone for saying that, we are human. So is this month mid-way? Or is it, “half way through the year, finally”?

I was reflecting today that so much has happened but I can’t help but know there is so much more in store. Why? Simply because God loves. I once heard from a brother, “wherever God is, there is more”, meaning that there is so much more Love to spread around. So of course there is so much more in store, God’s love is endless. We are called to spread that Love throughout the world, not just within this community, but to all those that we encounter. So yes, the year is half way done and we are mid way through the year, but we are not even half done the mission. Yes I am tired, and there are many times I question why I am doing what I am doing and just wanting to give up. It is hard, but I know by the end of it all, when my mission is done, it will be worth the pain and sacrifices because I was able to bring God’s love with me wherever I went.

Lord, take away this tiredness. 

Amen

– Christian Medeiros

I started to ponder this idea when I attended a sister’s grad mass this week. Which was standing firm in the faith. Everybody has heard this line a bunch of times its even in this year’s RYC “Fight the good fight of faith”1Tim 6:12. But sometimes you hear it so much that you lose the weight of the meaning which I’m experiencing. What I’m trying to say is standing firm in your faith is very complex , it could be in different forms ,to sometimes very literal(which I’m gonna talk about later) and it’s VERY HARD TO DO, especially you think about the small details in your life that could determine if you are standing firm in your faith or not.

This idea pop up because during mass I forgot which part of the mass but it is when you need to stand, less than half of the congregation wasn’t standing and you can see some who are not sure what to do. I’m pretty sure because of social conformity the majority just stayed seated because majority was. I felt the same way, I wasn’t confident as a stood up, I did those up and down with a look around you motion waiting for people to stand up before you. But lucky I had brothers beside me who assured me with their action and stood their confidently while I see more than half of the congregation sitting. As I look around this idea of standing firm in the faith pop up in my head. (That mass also was “interesting” in a sense that fuelled my idea of standing firm in a society that is becoming more secular which maybe I’ll talk about it some other time)

When I gave that situation more thought, that’s when I realize how truly giving your all, standing firm in the faith could be in the most simplest of action and still have the same or even more impact than through speech.Even as simple as standing up, your quite literally standing firm in your faith when the people around you are with uncertainty.

Oh, I realize too the importance of being the first one or first people to stand up in your faith, takes courage. Some of you probably know, seen, and experience like this social phenomenon video where one guy is dancing alone in a crowd and next thing you know crowds of people are dancing with him. The reason why I related this to standing firm is that it takes courage to be the first, to stand out in a crowd but as more and more people join in less and less courage is needed for other people to join. We need to be the first guy or the first people to stand in our faith so it makes it easier for other people who are unsure or just need a little push with their faith or just no faith at all. It gives an opportunity for those people to look into the great faith that we have, getting rid of the barriers that they may face that’s preventing them to accept or stand for God.

This made a big impact in me because there are many times where I failed to be strong and courageous in my faith and lost sight, but deep inside I know and want to give my all, truly to God. Sometimes I question myself can I really stand up and be firm in my faith, even those small actions. Will I be able recognize and act in those situation? Do I have the stamina to keep going? Can I be fearless to be the first when no else or few is standing next to you? Am I actually willing to sacrifice all to God?

This just hit me hard especially when I think about going through and becoming a MV how much I need to work harder on just being courageous and being strong through everything even in just an action. It even came to a point where I tried to much to be the person that I’m not, focusing on how to gain to give rather focusing on my gifts to give(this is probably next weeks reflection). Self-doubt kicks in hard when I think of these things, as I wrote that my “confidence meter” just went down a little thats who sometimes unstable I am still.

Just to summarize what I have reflected, it is when even in the most simplest of action you can lift up God’s name and can be a very powerful in evangelizing others.

As for my prayer for today please help me pray for I am able to stand firm in everything I do even in the most simplest of actions and to fight as hard as I can to battle any hindrances that I may face. Also to build my confidence so that I’m not overwhelmed by myself doubt so that I can show to the world how great our God is and that is worth to stand for in the midst of uncertainty.

Amen.

Gabby Pador

During a discussion with my sister’s household we brought up what our greatest fears were. This is one of those questions we throw around for fun alongside “how’s your heart”. But this time we actually took it seriously and attempted to answer the question. Automatically I thought of the dark (it’s too unknowing I don’t like not knowing things) then I thought of what makes me scared right now. School just popped into my head, not because I fear lectures or presentations but I was actually done with it. This meant changes.

I’m not one for drastic changes in my life. Not out of coping, maybe more out of laziness but definitely out of fear. Many people experience this with big life moments or decisions. Getting cold feet, running away, that fight or flight mode. For me it less of a fight or flight and more of just stand there and see what happens. However, we aren’t called for complacency in our lives, whether if be our prayer life, work, school or even in our discernments for our future. And here I was being complacent with something so important my vocation.

With graduation just around the corner, I’m about to complete this step in pursuing my vocation. I know I need to not only ask the Holy Spirit for guidance but need to take action. There’s trust in the Lord and then there’s trust in the Lord. I know that He has my back, but I still need to lock my doors at night as protection. If I must takes steps into the unknown, I’m prepared to “gird my loins” if it means not being complacent, I need to at least try.

Father God, I ask that you not only send the Holy Spirit to guide me as I discern for my future, but give me the courage to do what I must do to fulfill my vocation. Even if that means facing my fears, I know that you are with me.

Amen.

In Christ,

Abby