True North Missionaries Journal

(July 10, 2016)

#MTLSHouT2016

MTL. Messengers of the Lord.

This was the theme/title for the week of SHouT a sort of throwback to when Montreal would identify themselves as this, just like GTA referring to themselves as God’s Truly Anointed.

For myself, this calling to being a messenger of the Lord became reality the very moment I stepped off the megabus.

Everything was in French.

Not a single lick of English anywhere. Even the store names were in French with only the store design/logo that was familiar to me. It was as if I was in a new country. Now just to note, I have been to Montreal plenty of times, but all those past times were during family trips or for conference where I was with others. On the other hand, I was by myself called to serve in an area where I wasn’t familiar with the people, the geography, and even the language. The affirmation I received from the first full day however, was when we went to daily Mass as a SHouT house.

Prior to going to Mass I was telling Ate Ellen, my counterpart for the SHouT, “let’s go to an English Mass so I could understand.” Without telling me or confirming whether it was an English Mass, we went to the nearby parish and as the Mass began…..”Au nom du père du fils et du saint Esprit” — it’s in French.

Throughout the Mass, I could only understand certain french verbs while responding in English throughout the Mass. The beautiful part of it all was that there was also Adoration after Mass. Once again all in French, but with the hymns “O Salutaris Hostia” and “Tantum Ergo” still in Latin.

There was two things I got from this. One was that I still have so much to learn about God. No matter how long we’ve been a practicing Catholic or how long we’ve been in the community, there is still so much to learn of our God. In my head, I kept recalling, “I still have yet to know of the Lord in French.” The second thing was the affirmation that we are part of one Catholic and Apostolic Church. Catholic meaning ‘universal’, thus by being a part of this universal Church we are all called to the same mission: to share God’s message to whomever and wherever we go. At the end of Mass the priest says, “GO in peace, glorifying the Lord by your life.” In that very message, we are ALL called to be the messengers of the Lord. Therefore no matter who we are, where we are, we spread the message of God.

Part 2.

AMDG

(July 7, 2016)

#MTLSHouT2016

Guess who’s back, back again.

As you can tell I am not great at blog posts. Anyways, I hope these next few blog posts will inspire me to consistently blog as well as how I write haha. But to introduce this series of posts, #MTLSHouT2016, last week I was blessed with the opportunity to lead the SHouT in Montreal. And so the next few posts will be from my reflections throughout the week of SHouT.

But before I do, here is a quick sharing that relates to the first post of this series.

Yesterday, I had a one on one with a brother from my household, and something that he said really struck me.We were at a Tim Hortons, sipping on our Iced Capps (well-needed for this super humid day), and I just looked at him in disbelief when he told me so. He said, “my life is too boring to share.”

For myself, that was hard to believe. But I tried to take the perspective of the brother. And from how he explained it, he was overcomplicating, or setting too great of an expectation for himself. Something I am guilty of doing as well.

In my prayers, thoughts, actions, I would look at these things expecting the most extravagant, most “full” end result. How many times have I prayed to God, or asked God for the most complicated sign. “Lord, I will do this if this specific person, on this specific day, will do something specific that I willspecifically see.” But as a consequence I overlook the most important of these things and that is God. At the end of the day, the Lord simply loves us, and that’s it. No need to complicate it.

If we overcomplicate things then of course we get lost in all of it, but by seeing the simple fact that God is there and He loves us, we can find beauty in everything. Beauty in simplicity.

And that beauty of God is spread around through sharing.

It is through sharings that we find Christ and see where Christ is calling us to. For the SHouT itself, sharing is one of the important aspects. And at first, a lot of those at SHouT had a hard time to share, or the sharings were very limited. Maybe there was this thought of a level that should be met in order to have a ‘good’ sharing. But really, if we share Christ and how Christ has touched our lives (even in the simplest of things), then that in itself is a beautiful sharing. This is why I will share to you how God has affirmed me through the Montreal SHouT. Like St. Paul, I am sharing how I encountered Christ in the hopes that it may inspire you as well.

Post 1.

AMDG.

(June 10, 2016)

During the school year, I made it a practice to listen to podcasts on the way to school/classes (either walking or driving). But ever since I finished (woohoo praise God I graduated), I haven’t been able to keep up with that practice. Luckily today, there was insane traffic, and so I was able to listen to a couple of episodes from the Catholic Stuff You Should Know podcast. And one thing that stuck out was the notion of the intractability of sin.

The podcast referred to how sin clings to us, or that whole cycle of committing the same sin over and over again. And in some cases, we are able to tell when we’d commit that sin depending on our surrounding circumstances. But we shouldn’t sulk over this, there are opportunities for grace. There must be a realization that we need God, and by His side is where we would want to be.

We hear plenty of times that it is our fallen nature as humans that explains why we sin, we aren’t perfect, there aren’t any perfect situations in our lives. Instead, we have a perfect God who is there to LOVE us, and that is it. As Bishop Barron wrote in his book Catholicism: A Journey to Heart of the Faith, God is not self-interested and is only concerned with loving you. He created the world “not out of need but in order to ‘manifest his glory’ and to share his life and perfection,” and glory is God’s beauty. Therefore we are a manifestation of God’s beauty.

All the things of this world came from nothing, ex nihilo, wherein it was the very expression of God’s love for us that brought us to existence.

If it was love that made us, then why is there sin? Simply put, there is evil, wrongdoing, suffering so that the greater good may be brought out in this world. We must come to understand that what we see or interpret is basically a dot of paint in the grander work of art that is God’s plan. Therefore, do not lose hope, but instead look to the Lord. Because God, in His love, BECOMES the answer to the problems of evil.

Heavenly Father, may we not lose hope in Your providence and grace, but instead cling onto You even more every single day, every single hour, and every single moment. Amen.

AMDG.

(May 27, 2016)

When I lost it, yeah you held my hand
But I tossed it, didn’t understand
As I dove into the waterfall
[Geronimo by Sheppard]

Believing in God’s plan and presence in my life has always been easy when things went according to plan. But what happens when things get difficult? When I slowly become overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding me? When I feel as if I can’t do it anymore?
I shut down.

This past weekend I served at the CFC Eastern Regional Conference for the creative of Talk 5. During the time of preparations leading up to the conference, everything was going well. Practices were productive, the creative had become what I envisioned and I was satisfied. But during the conference itself, everything came crashing down. I was called to do things time and time again eventually feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, and by Saturday night I asked myself, “Why did I say yes to all of this, and why do I keep saying yes.”

Why do I keep saying yes?

Simply put, because that is my response to God, a response of faith and belief that this is where God is calling me. That in these difficult moments,  where I find myself left out on a high cliff, I will take that leap of faith.

God doesn’t want our lives to be lived out of convenience, that everything works out the way we want. Rather, he calls us to serve in times where we don’t think we can go any further or we think we have nothing left. Because it is in those times of despair, doubt, fear, anxiety and uncertainty that we cling onto Him even more. Thus allowing the Spirit to fully work in our lives. So if it becomes too difficult, keep moving forward. If it’s overwhelming, keep going. God has great things planned for every one of us.

So cling onto Him as you take that leap of faith.

“Your faith is not measured by what you do in one day, but by how you strive towards eternity in His kingdom throughout your life.”
– Homily on December 1st, 2013.

AMDG.

(May 10, 2016)

Here I am on my macbook, writing my very first blog post. Typing a few words, deleting them right after. Typing full sentences, deleting them right after. What should my first post be about?!

Thoughts popping into my head. This should be a blog post to remember. I should sound all cool and stuff, like a professional writer. Demar Derozan playing horrible wouldn’t be a relevant topic. What if my grammar is poor?! GAHHHHHH.

I’m overthinking again.

Growing up, I’ve always been one to plan ahead, whether it be gauging how my actions would affect the other person, or how much trouble I’d be in with my parents. I’ve always tried to stay ahead of the game, that game which is called life. Always mapping out what would happen next based on certain scenarios, and trying for the best-case scenario for myself. As a result, I would measure up moments based on the result rather than the journey. And time and time again, I’d fail to appreciate the present moments… those moments of struggle, ache, pain, peace, happiness, and joy. It was as if I’d become like Agent 47 programmed to only care about getting the job done.

I’ve constantly prayed for the willingness to let God’s will be done, not realizing that God has slowly been preparing the story already. This entire year so far has been 5 months of taking leaps, diving into the stormy waters, and totally submitting everything to Him. This is something I’m not used, even writing blog posts is completely foreign to me. But that’s what makes this journey even greater, the Lord is calling me out more and more out of my comfort zone.

Joining the MV program wasn’t a pre-requisite for me to realize all of this. But rather, it’s a well-needed first step of many.

And so it begins, with step one.

“But You have given my heart more joy than they have when grain and wine abound. In peace I shall both lie down and sleep, for You alone, Lord, make me secure.”  – Ps. 4 : 8-9.

AMDG.

(Sept. 21/2016)

“It is when we are pushed to our limits, beaten up and drained that our posture can speaker louder than words.”

For the last 5 years, I’ve challenged myself both mentally and physically via mud races. They push your limits of strength, endurance and grit. The end result is more or less the same: exhaustion, often injured and a sense or accomplishment. However, this year was different.

I wasn’t able to train at the level I would’ve like due to schedule constraints and injuries sustained earlier in the year. Three weeks prior, I wasn’t even sure I would be able to race due to an aggravated neck and back strain. Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled to compete in the race this year and often thought about backing out up until the evening before. However, because I committed to it I didn’t want to let my teammates down and be back-out Betty.

The morning of the race I woke up and knew I had 2 choices: 18km of struggles or offer it up for something greater. I decided I would stop myself from complaining, endure any injury that may happen, and remain joyful.

Finding Christ in that race was the last thing I expected. Wherein the past races there is often camaraderie, there is also complaining, gripping and swearing from your teammates and strangers that you run with.

As the race progressed, I noticed I was oddly cheery as were the fellow strangers I was racing with. There were endless words of cheering and encouragement every kilometer along the way. For a good 10-15km my team kept running into the same three groups of people. What was unique with these groups, were the different bible quotes printed on the back of each of their t-shirts.   I was floored that even in an event like this, that they were able to proclaim and evangelize their faith in their own way.

Not only did their shirts proclaim Christ, but also in the way they cheered their own teammates and strangers alike. Their posture stood firm, as the race become more strenuous and the hours continued to pass. Even though they were exhausted and dirty, they remained Christ-like. It is when we are pushed to our limits, beaten up and drained that our posture can speaker louder than words. That no matter the unlikely circumstance, you can always find Christ in anyplace and in everything.

(August 24, 2016).

My recent reflections has been about experiencing the Lord’s mercy time and time again.

If there is something I learned in my journey as mission volunteer, it’s that the Lord will always take care of me. He took care of me before I entered the program, for the last couple of months, and He will certainly continue to take care of me. I will never be able to understand how much He loves me but I’m grateful and feel extremely blessed.

Despite all of my sins and all of my shortcomings, I continue to feel the Lord’s love and mercy in every aspect of my life.

All He asks of us is to trust in Him and to turn to Him always. No matter what, the Lord will love me and will make me feel his love.

Jesus, I trust you. I love you.

AMDG