True North Missionaries Journal

How far would be go to speak the truth of the gospel?  How much do we weigh what we are willing to give up for our faith?

Recently I was fortunate enough to travel to Ireland.  Among Ireland’s rich culture, good food and friendly people is a dark history.  In a Dublin exhibit, I was able to see the ‘Book of Kells’ which contain the four gospels written by monks around 800AD.  Among other artifacts were other early Christian writings, mission gospels and even mission satchels.  I was amazed to physically see early missionary tools that were used centuries ago around Europe, Asia and Africa.  I was in awe to learn how early missionaries risked their lives and what they had to endure in order to spread the good news around the world.  The mission gospels were considered precious possessions, and the ‘Book of Kells’ themselves were and still are a national treasure.   They were highly sought after to be destroyed during the Viking raids and reformation, where Christians died trying to preserve these gospels.

Along learning about the preservation of these gospels, I was introduced into the bloody history of Catholicism in the country.  During the reform, Catholics were forced to be second class citizens and follow the Penal laws such as giving up their rights to vote, own land or openly practice their Catholic faith. The country is rich with martyrs and saints that gave up their lives to preserve their faith and spread the gospels to others.

I now reflect on how easy it is to connect and share your faith in these times.  Email and social media are at the click of mouse or tap of a screen. Here in the True North, we are able to openly share our faith and have the right to our beliefs.  Missionaries of the past have laid the groundwork for us, and perhaps the hardships are not as extreme as before.  However, the call is the same:  To serve God with a willing heart, and spread the good news of the word.

In my prayer time, whenever I ask the Lord what will my future be? When I ask what should I do, should I plan for all the what ifs? He will leave me hanging. Total silence. Nothing; and it scares me. But then our Lord has His own ways to speak to me and reassure me that my desire to be a missionary is indeed planted by Him. He will show it to me through my everyday struggles. Through the little things in my everyday life that most often than not, I tend to overlook.

When I look back to my 2016, I am affirmed, that I survived it with God’s providence. I started it with my application for the mission volunteer program. I was full of doubt. Am I really being called? Can I really do it? Is there something I can offer? But I’m only a household head, a fairly new one, what experience with mission do I have? With the issues I had in 2015, am I even worthy to serve? Believing that there’s a reason why I’m asked to do so, I pushed through my application. I started to gain conviction when we were in Singapore for the SFC ICON. It was an overwhelming affirmation, seeing people literally from different countries worshipping and believing in the mission and vision of our community. I am reassured that this is the community I am called to serve and grow with.

Multiple times last year, and up to now, I was asked to do things I have no idea how. But having in mind and trusting that the Lord doesn’t set us up to fail, but rather has the habit to challenge us and push us until we increase our borders, I will always just go on and let Christ’s love guide me. And indeed He will orchestrate things to help me reach the finish line. The first half of the year was full of service, conferences, retreats and CLPs. I planned to reserve the latter part of the year for my exam preparation. However right after TNC, I was asked to serve as marketing and promotion head for Liveloud. I knew that if I say yes, it will overlap with my self-made review schedule. Also I was weighing everything, because I never served with promotion before. Nevertheless, I said yes. I was blessed with a counterpart and a team that I can rely on. With our everyday struggles of what to post and who will do the graphics, the videos; who will go to parishes to do announcements, the stress of finding time to study increases.

I was having doubts again. Should I move my exam to February? “Lord, don’t you want me to pass my exam so I can properly discern with what you want me to do? You know how much toll this exam has done to me over the past years, why won’t you let me finish this at least? Do you still want me to suffer?” But with encouragement from my parents and Ate Candy, I pushed through. I offered everything to Him. It was when I decided to take that leap of faith; I was amazed how everything just took place smoothly. Again, it was pointed out to me that even though it is good to plan ahead, God will always have the last say to what should and would happen.

My request for 2 weeks off from work so that I can focus on my studying was approved. It was approved 2 days before I start my vacation leave! Unbelievable!!! Marketing and promotion was a success. Amidst the countless emails and phone calls here and there; we were able to gather volunteers to help us out with the parishes and exceeded our expected number of people. And most of all, I passed the exam I’ve been dreading for a year. When I look back, it was unthinkable that it all worked out. But that is what the Lord wants us to be. He wants us believe in Him, even the impossible. That God will always provide.

Through reflection, I realized how focusing on the future gives advantage to the evil as compared on concentrating on the present and in eternity is to advantage of God. Another thing is, concentrating on the present actually benefits my future for the fact that I am focused on what is important now, I will be more prepared for whatever God throws on me in the future. This is in a way aligned with my discernment as a mission volunteer too. What will it do if I worry too much? Rather I should persevere in knowing and listening to what is it that the Lord is calling me to do. And trust that the future I am so anxious about will soon be the present that I can live with in God’s grace. As what Kevin said during our monthly MV teaching 2 weeks ago, “when the Lord talks about trust, he asks about NOW, not for tomorrow or next year.”

As a missionary, my task is to carry on Christ’s mission and His will. Our God lives in the eternal present, He is here now, with us. He is always here with us, and so same goes with mission, the need to carry out whatever God is asking me to do now. Not what He might ask me tomorrow, but rather focus on what is at hand. Maybe the reason why the Lord is always silent whenever I ask Him what my future holds is because He wants my decisions to base from what is present. Christ is teaching me to be patient and believe in His promises, that He never fails. Every time doubt creeps in, let my simple prayer be,

“Jesus I trust in You.”

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:11)

 

 

I thought I knew what busy was…until I came to Manila.

I have been in the Philippines for the past month (34 day to be exact) and am currently going through my training for full time missionary work. Let me just emphasize on FULL TIME.

Full. Time.

The days seem to pass by really quickly since the moment we entered the GMC (Global Mission Center). My batch mates and I have been immersed in the life of a full time worker, going through meetings, lectures, events, ICON preparations and much, much more. Today, as I was looking at all of the deliverables in my monthly planner, I noticed that the Lord has given me so many experiences to encounter him. I realized that every day is filled with “to-do’s” and deadlines.

Amidst the busy days and the HEAT, I have been able to reflect on my daily experiences and I realized that the mission of the Lord never stops. When we say full-time work, it really means to be a missionary 24/7. It doesn’t end once we leave the Mission Center, we don’t have a day off, we don’t just “leave work at work”. Being a full time missionary means that we are on mission when we are commuting home, when we are at work or at school, when we are listening to a friend share about their victories or their struggles, when we are with our family, 24/7when we are walking down the street to 711, when we are smiling at someone, when we are asked to place chairs at an assembly and even when we are saying hello to the guard. In all instances we are missionaries. As Christians, we have every  opportunity to be witnesses of Christ’s love. Let’s not waste it!

Thank you Lord for the gift of mission, to love and serve You more in all that we do and all that we are. May you bless our hands and our plans, may they always be according to your will. May you send us the graces that we need in order to Glorify you in all that we do. Amen

Well this year is certainly going by super fast. It’s almost March already.

It’s one of those Mondays where there is a lot on the mind, yet no certain reflection is formulated. So here’s to a live writing reflecting in action.

I think we can all agree that something that is very hard for us as missionaries (yes, if you have said to the Lord, you are certainly a missionary) is that it is all work and no glory, sometimes no gratification, no thank you, no specific acknowledgement for what you’ve done etc etc.

It’s those times where I feel it is just the Lord reminding us to persevere. It’s like doing something selflessly for someone you love or those that are really close to you. You would do anything for them. Make sure everything is taken care as much as you could without any sort of acknowledgement or credit for a matter of fact. 

The truth is…everyday we are acknowledged of the work at hand or the selflessness we put on for others. Yes, I know…its difficult especially for people like myself whose love language is to receive words of affirmation but I feel that perseverance is allowing us to grow in other virtues. That in itself is a gift from the Lord when we mission for others. 

Even if we don’t get the words we want to hear or physically feel like we are doing a good job or the many times we don’t feel loved after we everyday do what we can for others before ourselves etc etc etc…

God listens. God sees. God molds. 

I know…another simple reminder. For me this is an affirmation of a few things when it comes to being able to persevere

1. Relationships with others are important. When you know the people you serve even if its for a moment..you’ll understand more of where they are at and ultimately how to persevere when times get difficult.
2. God is planning for your eternal happiness.  Of course it would be a journey to get there and yes He would bring us on the road less travelled. Trust me, its never going to be easy but my goodness I promise it will be fulfilling.
3. Don’t be discouraged. I often think about my prayer time and the daily blessings I receive. It helps especially when what you want or want to hear doesn’t come from those you love or serve. It’s a blessing to be able to simply cross paths again and converse with them after all.

Yeah, one take session…but I believe that there are many fruits in persevering through the times where we don’t feel worldly happiness. Ultimately, one is journeying our way closer to heaven. Even if the world was to remain completely silent, let’s remember that the love story of Jesus on the cross already speaks loudly of the love we receive everyday.  

God’s morning friends – As I am typing, it is 7:19 AM.

I will be on my way to Ottawa today for the First Fruits Celebration soon. Tito Ferdie is driving to the Mission House and will be here in an hour. I’m on my second cup of Kopiko coffee. Perhaps drinking this much coffee is not a good habit. But today it feels necessary, being that I’ve been up since 5:30 this morning.

My sleeping pattern has been messed up since my return from Montreal on Thursday, at 4:00 AM. To feel renewed each day since has really not been in the physical. But there is a certain disconnect that dwells between my tired body and my spirit, for it is pretty much awake and alive.

Today’s Gospel recounts Jesus’ baptism in the river Jordan. Jesus appears to us as an adult. Much of his life before has been hidden from us, as the Gospels don’t really recount how he grew up from being that child “lost” in the temple to the 30-something adult that now walked the river to meet John.

God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit proclaims the divinity of Jesus at that moment -17 And suddenly there was a voice from heaven, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved; my favour rests on him.’ What a very beautiful moment this will always, and worthy of celebration today.

What speaks to me about this Gospel is the revelation of the Lord in the “silent” recounting of Jesus’ life before this moment. As a YFC FTPW, I’d like to direct youth to a passage in the bible and say “Here was how Jesus was as a teenager.” It would have probably made it easier for them in their strive to be like Christ. But such passage doesn’t exist.

I can only imagine and assume. This morning, I imagine Jesus interacting with Mary and Joseph and acknowledge… That perhaps the time he spent with them, his family was just that precious and sacred that he meant to keep it hidden. That this was a time where he allowed himself  to grow silently in awareness of his identity and mission.

God’s revelations are beyond compared and cannot be trumped by any Newton’s “Aha!”apple drop moments (google how Newton discovered gravity). I am convinced – That experiencing newness is finding hope in the every-day, slow, seemingly silent revelations of God.

May God be with you in your own Nazareth (home) or walk to the Jordan River, all day and every day, friends. Prayers up for all First Fruits in all Areas and for a fervent start of the new Year!

In Christ our Life,

Ellish

I don’t like waiting. I never did actually! When you ask me to meet with you, I usually like to be on time because I dislike when people have to wait on me. When I have appointments, I make sure to allow enough time for any unpredictable circumstances. Inevitably, there would be times when I would be late but I try my best to avoid that.

So you can tell that I don’t really enjoy waiting. However, this year has been a year filled with lots of waiting. The mission volunteer program, as much as it’s very active and busy, is an opportunity (whether I like it or not) to practice waiting. It challenged me to stretch my heart while I wait for others, for the results of the aptitude test (oh that test!), for the discernment of my leaders, for the deliberations, etc. It has allowed me to cling onto Him and to pray earnestly.

My attitude towards waiting has changed over the last few months. It definitely didn’t happen overnight but gradually, only through the grace of God. Now I find peace in waiting, not because things have been clear or that I no longer have to wait, but because I know that Christ is with me while I prepare my heart for Him. I experience joy in waiting because I know that I am waiting for Him and that it will all be worth it.

“I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope” (Psalm 130:5). Lord God, help me to obey and remain faithful, no matter how long I am in this place of waiting. 

Amen

My prayer for this Advent season is to deepen my prayer time so that I can prepare my heart for the coming of the Lord. This time of preparation has helped me discover what it is I truly desire: it is to be with God.

There are just so many things I want, so many things I’d like to have, but no material possession will ever fill the God-sized void in my heart. Nothing else can possibly satisfy me, nothing would ever make me as happy.  It is through seeking to be with Him that my longing intensifies. It is through desiring to serve Him and to do his will, that my thirst is quenched. However, it is also when my mind cannot keep up with my heart. My mind is pulling me back and worrying. It keeps asking questions and wanting to study the facts, to keep guard, to be safe. It is in knowing my heart’s deep desire that my mind holds on to fear and anxiety. What happens if I completely surrender myself to the Lord? What happens to my family? To my work? To my life?

Advent is a time of preparation. Like this season, my heart (and my mind) shall prepare for the coming of the Lord. Wherever (and whenever) He might call, that is where I am meant to be. In my every day life, he is calling me to trust in Him and to constantly cling to His love and promises. I don’t think I’ll ever convince my mind to stop worrying, but I know that I’ll never be able to convince my heart to stop following Him.

Heighten my hearts desires to serve You Lord
To use me as a vessel of Your selfless love
Awaken Your spirit in me; fill me with Your grace
To bear a love like Yours
To bring people back to Your embrace

Amen.