True North Missionaries Journal

I woke up from a nap one day to a text from my counterpart asking if i wanted to go to the gym. My initial thought was NO WAY! I haven’t been to a gym in years so I knew this was out of my comfort zone. But, I also knew how much this would mean to him. Half an hour later, there I was in a gym holding my admission card while breathing sweaty gym air and my counterpart with a big smile saying ‘this is monumental.’

I remember being on the elliptical for a long and tiring 30 minutes, counting down every minute. I thought ‘why am i doing this? I didn’t want to do this, but yet I am here.’ But despite the tiredness or uncomfortability, I was simply reminded of how much Christ loved others through His actions. Whether it be physically going to visit a sick person or by carrying the cross during His passion, Jesus knew that the fruit of His actions would be love.

Loving others goes beyond our words. It is shown greatly through our actions. I am reminded of a quote from No Greater Love by Mother Teresa:

“True love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy.”

Lord, give me the grace to love others as extravagantly as you did.

“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸ Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Mt 6:7-8

Today’s gospel is a quiet reminder that our relationship with God can be simple. There’s no need to over-complicate something that we can understand with a simple truth: God looks at you and He loves you. You who might fail at times. You who might doubt; who might bear resentment. You who may at times be impatient and worrisome. When the world around you becomes complicated and your circumstances slip past your own control, remember His faithfulness. Because He knows what you need before you ask him. He who calls you by a name that only He knows. God who is great sees you as an individual and promises that He will take care of you. So, if the world fails you, and even when you fail yourself, keep your prayer simple. Speak with a childlike simplicity and pray “Abba, father me.”

 

JMJ

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
– Eminem (Lose Yourself)

I have grown up with a perpetual need to have a hand in every situation. Whether that be knowing what to do, or simply knowing what’s going on. In other words, I wanted everything under my control, ESPECIALLY (most especially) if it remotely concerned me or the people I knew. I needed to know where everything is and where they are going.

However, upon saying yes to the Lord to the MV program and to many other things pertaining to my life and what lies ahead (i.e. service, vocation, family situations etc.), these moments of “Yes, Lord” was met with great troubles, doubts and hardships. Great troubles that I did not think would happen nor want to happen. Even though, at the time of these troubles, I felt lost and had moments of yearning to just run away; at the end of the day, every successive “yes” always built towards something. Because one thing was for sure, these opportunities and moments of “Yes, Lord” will always happen…no matter what.

The struggle in this certainty of “Yes, Lord” moments was the fact that I had no idea where the Lord would be taking me. Like a ship without a captain, a business with no management or CEO or traveller with no map (or GPS for us today). The only difference with mine is that I was never alone (although at times I instinctively thought I was…and God is not instinctual but intentional) and it was just a constant revisiting of my conviction to this call and realizing that all that I need is to trust. And this is something that I’ve slowly and gradually have realized. Prayers of “Lord where are you taking me? Why do I have to be assigned here? Why can’t I just be at the destination already?”…have now become “Lord, lead me to where You are. Jesus, King of Mercy, I trust in You”. Thirteen months ago, I would have never said yes if I was told of the things I would have had to endure upon entering the MV program, then again, I would have never realized how great and providential God is (like actually…God is so good, thank You Lord).

And so, we look to the start of this blog post. What does any of this have to do with the song? To be honest, I don’t really know LOL. The song just came up as I was writing this reflection and it seemed like it fit. Actually, it does. Yes, it does, let me share haha. Like in the movie or music video, the call we say yes to is an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime, for Marshall it was to be on that stage, while for us it is to be with God. And when we say yes and live out the aftermath of our yes, we will face moments of forgetfulness. Forgetting why we said yes, forgetting what we said yes to, and forgetting who we said yes to. In order to remember again though, we must literally lose ourselves to the will of God, realizing that all of this and more is God’s to begin with. So don’t miss the opportunity to say “yes” to the Lord, and in the words of Eminem…

You better lose yourself in the…  love of the Lord.

AMDG.

Jesus saw many people. He went up on the mountain and sat down. His followers came to Him.He began to teach them, saying,” Those who know there is nothing good in themselves are happy, because the holy nation of heaven is theirs. Those have sorrow are happy, because they will be comforted. Those who have no pride in their pride in their heart, because the earth will be given to them.Those who are hungry and thirsty to be right with God are happy,because they will be filled.Those who show loving-kindness are happy, because they will have loving kindness shown to them.- Matthew 5:1-7

Jesus loves to preach and pray on the mountain. Some story in the bible happens in the mountain. Last week I went hiking with my SFC brothers, my first hike this year. I was trouble this past few weeks, lots of challenges on my journey, so for sure hiking will help me to divert my attention. On my way to the mountain I didn’t realized that some of the question on my mind will be answered. Sometimes I am so impatient,frustrated for things that I want to happen. We start the hike with only water and Banana on our bag, climbing a mountain is hard,challenging and we need to use lots of energy.

It’s only 1/4 of the trail I think when I say “I gave up”, Im tired, I will wait for you guys here just continue your hike,the my SFC brother said No we can do it, nobody will left behind. Upon hearing those word I realized that life is like hiking,climbing a mountain. In our life its either personal or spiritual journey we have our own Mountains, that sometimes on our way we easily give up even though we just started. Challenges, feeling of being tired, disappointment, destructions, and sometimes laziness. We can encounter those things while climbing the mountain, and we entertain them thats why we fail sometimes and we cannot reach the Peak, the place we can see the reward , the beauty of his creation. In life we also encounter those things, but its part of our journey thats what makes us more strong and effective. If were going to stop in the middle because we are tired or because were disappointed or just lazy, we lost the chance of the greater reward on the finish line. If tired and disappointed He promise to give us rest.

“Come to me all of you who are tired and burdened, and I will give you rest.”-Matthew 11:28 

No one left behind, in this community we journey together, we help each other. during those times that I wanna give up my brothers are there to remind me that I have people around me whose gonna help me and never leave me alone. Like Jesus he is always there to help us and pick us up so literally were not alone on this journey.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”- Deuteronomy 31:6

When I reached the Peak of the mountain the first word on my mind is Praise God, what a wonderful creation. Theres obstacle or challenges along the way but the reward is always on the finish line. While looking on the mountain that I hiked I realized that in life we focus on the whole picture or the whole view but the truth is theres a lot of stories and learning within this whole mountain.

Never give up, always aim to reach the Peak, the rewards after your struggle and hardship.We are not alone in this journey, just call on His name because He is always at our side whatever journey or mountain we want to climb. And to have this Mountain Top Experience.

Have you ever had a mountain-top experience with God? Are you ready to climb your own mountain?

I cannot pray Our, if my faith has no room for others and their needs.
I cannot pray Father, if I do not demonstrate this relationship to God in my daily living.
I cannot pray who art in heaven, if all of my interests and pursuits are in earthly things.
I cannot pray hallowed be thy name, if I am not striving, with God’s help, to be holy.
I cannot pray thy kingdom come, if I am unwilling to accept God’s rule in my life.
I cannot pray thy will be done, if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life.
I cannot pray on earth as it is in Heaven, unless I am truly ready to give myself to God’s service here and now.
I cannot pray give us this day our daily bread, without expending honest effort for it, or if I would withhold from my neighbor the bread that I receive.
I cannot pray forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, if I continue to harbor a grudge against anyone.
I cannot pray lead us not into temptation, if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.
I cannot pray deliver from evil, if I am not prepared to fight evil with my life and my prayer.
I cannot pray thine is the kingdom, if I am unwilling to obey the King.
I cannot pray thine is the power and the glory, if I am seeking power for myself and my own glory first.
I cannot pray forever and ever, if I am too anxious about each day’s affairs.
I cannot pray Amen, unless I honestly say, “Cost what it may, this is my prayer.”
-Anonymous

I came across this poem while I’m trying to reflect on my prayer time. Its been a week for me of struggling with my work and honestly, I’m coming to the end. I have been trying my best to reflect and pray for all the things that has been happening regarding my job. I always tell my self that this is what I need even though this is not what I want. But the stress and anxiety is getting deeper lately. They said, “Pray hard it works” but how can I pray hard if my body is not cooperating? How can I have a one on one relationship if my heart feels thirsty? I know it’s a test for my patience and I am sure that this wont last long.

A brother ask me today “How can you keep up with SFC and work life. Are you enjoying it right now?” My answer to him is “No its not a joyful life but I choose it because I discern for it and I have to keep up with it”. Yes, I discern for it and pray for it for over a year before I decide that I will apply for the MV program. If I did not decide to go for it then I would not see the difference that it would make for my life. I would not see the difference because I just stayed in my comfort zone and did not challenge my self to do extra mile of service. If I did not say yes, I would not understand the life and mission of CFC and SFC and I would still be questioning my self why did I join SFC.

Most of the stuff right now is a challenge. A challenge that I am enjoying because this reminds me why I said Yes to the mission. With this I CAN ONLY PRAY:

 

Glory to the Father, for of His unconditional love

and to the Son, for His redeeming love

and to the Holy Spirit, for His guiding love

As it was in the beginning, as His promise for us

and now, as His journey for us

and ever shall be, as His plan for us

world without end, as His forever for us

Amen, as His will be done

-Michael Cabahug

It is almost a year now since our first 3-day backpacking and camping trip to Yoho National Park. We were so excited planning and preparing as it was our first time doing it. We readied our hiker bags, tent, water bags, hiking poles, sleeping bags, food and drinks – you name it! We tried to pack all the necessary things that we will need in our 3 days journey.

There were 4 of us who went. We were all geared up with our appropriate hiking wear and tools. We had our hiking poles with us giving us a push when going up a steep climb and giving us support walking down the slope especially with the heavy loads we have on our back. We relied on map and signs on the trail to lead us to our destination. We had stops for snacks and water, bowel and bladder break, or quickly catch a breath from the steep hike. It was tiring but more so fun especially with the company that we had. The stories, insights about life, and just silly/non-sense conversations kept us going in our journey. When one of us is having difficulty with the load we carry, we took turns in helping out carry the heavy load or we all just rest for a moment. And we enjoyed, ate, played games, shared stories, and rested in preparation for the following day’s hike.

I thought I was all prepared. It turned out I forgot to bring multivitamins and some fruits that will help replenish potassium that I was losing from the hike but most especially because I was also taking a pill that is supposed to make me urinate a lot. On our 2nd day of hike with still about an hour to the peak, I was giving up. I was feeling very weak. I felt numb to my extremities. I knew something was wrong and I was not feeling very well. I stopped and literally just dropped my body to the ground and rested for a while. All that I needed in that moment was a miracle or I would have died. I prayed for strength to be able to make it to the next camp site. I prayed that hopefully we’ll meet hikers along the way who could help us. I prayed that when we reach the next destination our neighboring campers would have fruits or multivitamins that they could spare some to me. I was praying for a miracle.

My friends continued to encourage me to walk. They helped me carry some of my load. So I stood up and continued walking to the peak. The boost from my friends helped a lot for me to reach the peak. And behold, at the peak, was the site of a piece of banana on top of a stone pillar. We were all jumping for joy! It was a miracle! Along with our jumping and rejoicing was the snow falling from the skies. It reminded us of the scene from Exodus when the Israelites rejoiced when manna fell down from the heavens to satisfy their hunger! The banana was my manna from heaven. I slowly ate the banana and appreciated how precious that fruit was. I felt the difference in my body right away. I knew the potassium in my body got replenished. I was able to push till the end of our journey. I have experienced a miracle!

Every time I look back on that backpacking at Yoho, I am reminded of Session 10 of the Christian Life Program of CFC Singles for Christ, which is the talk about “Growing in the Holy Spirit.” I am reminded of the 5 spokes of the wheel, which are the tools to help us truly live a Spirit-filled Christian life.

Prayer. Scripture. Sacraments. Fellowship. Service.

Prayers are hiking poles giving us a push when things are getting difficult and giving us support when we feel pressed by the heavy loads we carry. Scripture is the map and signs on the trail that gives us the right direction in our journey towards life with Christ. Fellowship is the presence of our friends, brothers and sisters, family and the community that support us and journey with us. Service is when we help our brothers and sisters carry their loads when times get overwhelming. Sacraments are the food for our soul. The Holy Eucharist is the living body and blood of Christ that will sustain us as we journey towards life eternal in heaven.

To me personally, the miracle of the banana from heaven will be a constant reminder to partake of my most essential need – The Holy Eucharist.

“Tantum Ergo”

Down in adoration falling,
Lo! the sacred Host we hail,
Lo! oe’r ancient forms departing
Newer rites of grace prevail;
Faith for all defects supplying,
Where the feeble senses fail.

To the everlasting Father,
And the Son Who reigns on high
With the Holy Spirit proceeding
Forth from each eternally,
Be salvation, honor, blessing,
Might and endless majesty.
Amen.

R. Thou hast given them bread from heaven.
V. Having within it all sweetness.

Let us pray: O God, who in this wonderful Sacrament left us a memorial of Thy Passion: grant, we implore Thee, that we may so venerate the sacred mysteries of Thy Body and Blood, as always to be conscious of the fruit of Thy Redemption. Thou who livest and reignest forever and ever.

Amen.