When the Lord called me back to His arms in 2015, I knew I had to follow Him. I remember telling Him, “I want what You want for me and of me, my God, my everything”. This prayer changed me. This was all before I knew anything about discernment or had a thought on Matthew 26:39.
On Tuesday, we had our MV teaching on Discernment and was wonderfully affirmed by how discernment is defined – that is to surrender, to desire what God wants for you.
However, as I recalled conversations I had with some friends and acquaintances, as they wondered if I’m seriously considering becoming a full-time pastoral worker, I realized I’ve never really thought of what I would be giving up. I’m aware of what I might have to give up but if this is what God wants for me, then I’m bound to find peace in it, right? All I know is I love God and I know He has better plans than what I can even dare to imagine. I pray that more and more people will love Him too, know Him too. That they will discover His infinite goodness and love. It’s the nearness of Him that I seek, that I’m thankful for. I am aware that this desire, this mission might come in different forms, different ways and that’s why I can only want what He wants for me, nothing more, nothing less.
In every aspect of our lives we constantly decide on everything that we do. Whatever level of decision making we do whether it’s in the level of instinct, conscience or discernment will always influence our life and mission. As a Mission Volunteer Applicant, I have become more aware of the level of thinking that I am doing. Before I was more of an instinct and conscience decider I always rely on my gut feeling or sometimes I think if that will be a good or bad result to me or to others. I always use my mind to decide and put besides the heart sometimes I just decide without even praying for it.
Since I become an SFC I have been hearing a lot about discernment but I really don’t understand it fully until I have to discern for my application for mission volunteer applicant. It took me a year to finally decide on it. I know I have a calling but I did not know how to handle it. I have to constantly ask God what he want me to do thru my prayer time and He consistently gave me an answer that sometimes confuses me. I talked to a lot of people but I did not tell them what I am discerning for. I asked for questions that also leads to more questions. I look for answers in the forms of signs and I don’t get the answer I want. What leads me to finally saying YES to the calling of an MVA is thru surrendering.
I decided to let go of all the things that is keeping me from pursuing what I like. I let go and let God. I tell God what I really want and tell him that I wanted to go do the mission and I need His guidance to for this decision. During my discernment time God let me see all the options that I can have. He showed me that whatever I choose is always for the better me. He showed me the good and the better of both sides if I chose to be an MVA or not. He did not let me decide base on my instinct because this is not a matter of pain and pleasure. He did not let me decide base on my conscience because it is not a matter of right of wrong. Instead He let me discern for it because it is between the good and the greater good. And when we discern we have to always keep in our mind and heart to always choose the greater good.
When I finally decided to say yes to be an MVA, a greater peace of mind comes over me knowing that I have choose a greater good. All the confusions that was in my mind vanish and greater good of knowing that the Holy Spirit now is leading the way on my journey. Sometimes it is hard for us to accept what God wants for us but I know I am happy because I choose the greater good, which is God’s will over me. God has let me choose because he wants me to be happy not just by the decision that I make but the heart that is renewed and full of peace and contentment. It is still a long way for us we are always in the process of discerning but God will always be there for us
Discernment is surrendering, it is knowing God’s will is for us and desiring what God wants for us.
“Yet not what I want, but what you want” Matthew 26:39
It was on a Sunday Mass during last weekend’s Christian Personal Relationship Weekend Retreat when I saw a young boy with Down’s syndrome in the choir playing the tambourine and guitar with guidance from his grandmother. He did really well. I sensed genuine happiness seen through his smile as he played the tambourine and guitar.
I was reminded of the young boy in the miracle of the feeding of ten thousand men, who only had 5 loaves and 2 fishes with him to share and help feed the people. The young boy, with the little that he had, offered it all to Jesus. Then a miracle happened. His tiny offering was able to feed ten thousand men and their families and there was even more left of the food.
We have been blessed by God with gifts. Being the Generous Father that He is, God has bestowed on us necessary and precious gifts not only essential for our survival but most importantly for us to use in helping others. This way, God has made sure that His love would be always present and be felt by us through the sharing of His gifts as the Holy Trinity has perfectly shown in the constant sharing of love by the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
We all have gifts. It is on the way we look at things, at our circumstances, and at what others have that we acquire a worldly view that we either have little or more gifts. And when it comes to answering the call to share our gifts, this worldly view can affect us so much and can leave us asking: “Do I have anything to give?”
When I started journeying with the Lord, I learned about His great love for me. I came to know His son Jesus, who is the greatest expression of His love. I have looked deeply on how I live my life as a Christian and I tried my best to respond to His love through the path of faith and repentance. I knew this journey would demand from me something. With God’s love and generosity, will I not give Him what He actually gave me in the first place? That has always been a thought I keep pondering on.
Being a member of Singles for Christ and as a young adult,I know I am soon approaching the crossroads of my life when eventually I will respond to God’s love and call through my vocation: married life, single blessedness or priesthood. Just thinking about this life decision, it makes me excited, yes but more nervous. I have a lot of questions: “Do I have anything to give? Am I ready to give of myself? Can I give up what I have? Do I have the courage? Am I worthy? How about my past mistakes and sins? How about my current struggles? Will my offering be enough?” The question goes on.
Trust and surrender.
The young boy in the feeding of the ten thousand gave it all to our Lord with full trust. I am called to do the same. I am called to lay at the Lord’s feet all that I have. Aside from my gifts, talents, abilities, and everything good that the Lord has given, I am called to lay at his feet even my insecurities, uncertainties, sinfulness, incapacities, and fears. I must allow the Lord to create a miracle through me and that will only happen if I surrender to Him and trust Him.
As I continue this journey towards fully responding to God’s love, as much as I can, I am trying not to focus on the many questions that I have. I am choosing to look at the constant love, forgiveness, acceptance, provision and guidance that the Lord has for me. I will bask in His Love and share that love to others in the best way that I can. I will grow and bear fruit where I am planted at the moment. Then eventually, when God pulls me and plants me somewhere else, I will obey and continue to witness to His love.
Lord, as I continue to journey with You and respond fully to your love, receive my five loaves and two fishes. Amen.
Take and receive, O Lord, my liberty Take all my will, my mind, my memory All things I hold and all I own are Thine Thine was the gift, to Thee I all resign Do Thou direct and govern all and sway Do what Thou wilt, command, and I obey Only Thy grace, Thy love on me bestow These make me rich, all else will I forego.
About a year and a half ago I was posed the question “Why do you want to be a mission volunteer?” The question I’m now being asked is “Do you still to be a missionary?” In recent weeks I’ve been asked the latter in several ways. “Do you still want it?”, or “What is your conviction in the mission”, and “Do you still see yourself doing this full time?”
There is no doubt that every individual is called to be a missionary and evangelize Christ to others but in different capacities. I’ve spent many hours in prayer and reflection in discerning these questions. While praying in church, I posed the question back to God “Lord, do you still want me to be in this mission volunteer program?” The response was simple and clear: “Keep trying”.
In a recent talk I heard, the speaker emphasize excellence saying “We have to be A1.” He equated A1 steak sauce to excellence. This is applicable whether we are studying, building a career or serving in a mission. Through our love for God, we instil meaning by marinating excellence to every nook and cranny of ourselves. Even at different stages in life, we must approach our lives with care, deliberate action and passion daily. I realized that if I were to keep trying as God was asking, then it would have to be done in excellence. To continue building genuine relationships, having love and patience with others and serving faithfully as a mission volunteer.
Hello world, this is my family. My home, my place of refuge, my source of love, and my first household. The man of the house, Mario “Ohmar” Rivera (the original Ohmar). The commander of the house, Merlita Rivera. The Korean of the house, Mier Rivera. Then there’s me. Meet the Rivera Family.
FAMILIES in the HOLY SPIRIT RENEWINGthe face of the Earth. Couples For Christ’s Mission
Having grown up in this community, quite literally, from Kids for Christ, to Youth for Christ and now recently transitioned to Singles for Christ, I can truly say that I have come to understand and further appreciate the value of family. Wherein we care for every person in a family in this community. And that can be attested to by my family.
Thinking back on the journey so far that my family has gone (obviously only ’til as far as I could recall), one thing is certain… that nothing went according to our expectations. That in saying yes to the Lord, He had taken us to the other side of the world whether or not we acknowledged it was God at work. As a result we have found the Lord in each other and ourselves and are now living in life of love and service. And so let me share with you, my family’s journey, from the desert to the rivers.
(Dubai, year ???….but look its me in baby form)
The story begins in Dubai, where I was born and where my parents first met, you’ll have to ask them about their story in person. (And shout outs to YFC UAE on their National conference!). And if there is one place that I remember the most about my faith life during the 7 years I lived in Dubai, it was the crying room. Almost every moment spent at St. Mary’s was either sleeping in a pew, or crying my head off in the crying room. We were the typical family that went to Mass on Sundays just because my parents were brought up that way and thus they would do the same for their own children. And other than grace before meals, that was the full extent of our faith. Funny enough, close to when we migrated from Dubai to Toronto, my sister asked our parents if she could join Kids for Christ, but our parents were skeptical and opted not to. However, just as the Lord is funny, He still made things work…by having our closest family friends (who moved to Canada a year before us and who were already in CFC by then) to actually sit in for my parents. So that once we arrived in 2001, they simply said, “Oh by the way, we’re gonna take you to a Christian Life Program! Don’t worry for missing 3 talks, we’ll fill you in during the car ride!” And from there my parents would complete their CLP, my sister would attend her first youth camp and I would go join Kids for Christ. Thus begins our love story with God, as one family.
The reason we moved to Canada was simply for my sister and I to get a better education. And only that. However, in reality, we were led on a journey towards Christ. As my parents began to serve more and more, my sister and I were exposed to mission since we would be dragged to my parents’ households and meetings that covered the vast lands of the Greater Toronto Area and even Windsor. Of course, at the time, young OJ did not appreciate being dragged to these places. But yet, it was in these moments of travelling with my family to serve, was what ignited that desire for mission in me even though I did not acknowledge it then. From there, my sister would go on to become a Full Time Pastoral Worker and I would apply to the Mission Volunteer program. Now don’t be mistaken, this journey was not without any sort of struggle or hardship. In fact, even until now, we face the same uncertainties of life. How can we serve if we are tired? How can I provide for my family? Or future family? Am I worthy or able to do this? The only difference now, is the great confidence we have in the Lord that He will and always will take care of us. Because He has done just that this whole time. We came for education but God gave us something greater, a purpose to love and serve Him. We came, to some extent, to lead a successful life, but God gave us something greater, a life according to His will. We came to serve ourselves, but God called us to serve Him.
(Some food spot in Toronto, 2016)
And so, why did I say yes to mission? At first it was because I was inspired by the joy that the FTPW’s exuded whenever they were on mission and that I wanted to experience that. But thinking on it recently, especially with this post, I believe those 3 in the picture above are the reason. That they were the ones who brought me to mission, they were the ones who exuded joy on mission, they were the ones who said yes so that I could say yes.
The Lord took us out of the desert, our dryness in faith, and brought us to the rivers of His grace. Wherein, we came to nourish our minds, but instead we ended up nourishing our hearts and souls. This is how I am affirmed by the mission of CFC. That in being renewed by the Lord’s grace, we are able to in turn bring Christ to others. He took our yes and brought us to places far greater than we expected. And He is not yet done.
Thank you, Papa. Thank you, Mama. Thank you, Ate Mier.
For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it. For there are many who are insubordinate, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision party. They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach. … -Titus 1 : 7-14
They said being leader can either be functional or relational. Before I really don’t see the difference between the two but I know I am more of a functional leader. And being more of a functional leader I focus more of how to do my roles by the book. Later did I realize that being such kind of a person started to lose my connection with my fellow leaders. Focusing more on my role rather than building a relationship with my counterpart in leadership. My pride and ego has taken over me on how I relate to my other counterpart and started to build a wall in front of me,
Last weekend I attended the Christian Personal Relationship Weekend Retreat. This retreat was God’s answer to my prayer. This weekend was a healing process for me. Realizing what has been missing in my role as a Unit Head. It started and ended with honoring one another which I believe what we should be doing instead of finding fault with one another. Honestly my struggles with my sister counterpart was getting to a point that I don’t want to talk to them because in my mind we won’t be agreeing anymore and it will open more wound than stitching it back together. But God is great He knows how to heal things and give us a renewed heart. He knew what we need and He will give to you generously. Last Saturday after listening to all the talk and praying for the healing that I need I decided to open up and talk to my sister counterpart. We started by emptying our selves and asking for forgiveness with one another. Taking away all the pride and ego and focusing on what we are anointed for. I was worried first but God’s hand was working in our heart that time. It always gets us back what God has instructed us: Loving God and loving your neighbors, with that I don’t need to question anymore. My weekend was a blessed and victorious one with all the healing that we received. We decided to start a new chapter a new beginning. And for that may God be praised.
Let us build a house where love can dwell and all can safely live,
a place where saints and children tell
how hearts learn to forgive.
Built of hopes and dreams and visions,
rock of faith and vault of grace;
HERE THE LOVE OF CHRIST SHALL END DIVISIONS.
All are welcome, all are welcome,
all are welcome in this place
A few years ago I met this girl who annoyed me by merely her existence. She rubbed me the wrong way because well, I wasn’t fond of her personality.
Little did I know that this situation would teach me how to pray for someone I clearly disliked. I have never prayed this much for someone I didn’t even want to be friends with. My negative feelings and thoughts toward her weighed me down. I didn’t like myself when she’s around. One day, I asked the Lord for a chance to get to know her better. He answered swiftly. I was at the front row when she was sharing at a gathering not knowing that she’d be one of the sharers.
I cried after her sharing because I felt the Lord is telling me, “You want to be better so here’s your chance. Listen well”. Though she didn’t do anything different to change how I feel towards her, I was beginning to understand her more. So I continued to find ways to get to know her more and more and more. Little by little I discovered her humanity, her strengths and weaknesses, and what made her the way she is. Now I know. With God’s loving grace, I found myself accepting her for everything she is, even the ones I disliked in the first place. I appreciated her kind heart.
Now, whenever I see her, I thank God for teaching me the virtue of forbearance but most especially, for an unlikely friend who taught me how to pray for people I had difficulty understanding and loving. Sometimes, we reject and dislike what we do not quite know but we must work to courageously love first before we decide to throw anything or anyone away.
Considered a blessing that it is a continuous cycle and bout of attempt and victory as it truly is a beautiful opportunity to be more like Jesus Christ, the ultimate manifestation of love.
Lord, may I never forget to be more like You and may You continue to give my heart and mind the courage to look for the good, the best in a person before zooming in on the bad. Amen.
(Christmas, 2015)
