True North Missionaries Journal

When you lose your way, the best thing to do is recount your steps and try to figure out where you got lost. When you figure out where you lost your way, next is to redirect yourself. 

The funny thing is, when you lose your way, you forget that you had a companion all along. Somebody who knows where they’re going, who walks alongside with you, knowing you’re losing yourself but continues walking with you, out of love –deep love for you, patiently waiting until you are ready to let go of your gaze on your map, turn your eyes to them and say “I’m lost.”

I have never left you.

I lost my way. I forgot where I was going. I enjoyed too many rest points and slowed my pace. I foolishly mapped my own way thinking that I’d make it. I was lost, going in circles, refusing to ask for direction. I relied on my own strength, my own stamina, my own power… thinking that one day, I’d have it figured out.

You need to learn to live in my grace, and not rely on your strength.

When you stop, examine where you are and take those steps back, as much as it seems like you are going backwards, you are actually moving forward. Our greatest companion, Jesus Christ, is there to take the lead when we finally let Him. Like a true gentleman, He doesn’t reprimand us for our foolishness, but holds our hand. 

I was foolish enough to think that I knew the way, when the way was right next to me. I focused too much on other things, clouding my vision. My head was so full of matters of the future, that I lost sight of the present, the now, the One beside me.

Losing your way is hard, but it is in the going back, where you remember the reason for the journey in the first place, that is the real grace.

Jesus, my greatest companion, You have never left me. You journey with me so that I am never alone. You are the way, the truth and the life. Let me live by your way, know your truth and walk in the light of your life. Let me never lose my way to you, but rather lose myself in you. Amen.

Faith and joy collide

And overwhelm what I desire

That I will want nothing more

For You are everything

There are so many scriptural references where Lord asks us to follow Him – Matthew 4:19, Matthew 16:24, Luke 5:27, Luke 18:22, and John 21:19 to name a few. I believe that in seeking and following the Lord, the deepest desires of our heart are fulfilled. At the end of the day, the only thing we desire is to be loved. The only one who can love us entirely is Love Himself. God is all we want. God is all I want. God is all we need. God is all I need.

Lord, help me accept Your constant love for me every moment of every day. Nothing can satisfy me except You.

The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!

Matthew 6:22-23

When I was young I denied that my eyesight was going bad. I denied it for months. Finally, when I couldn’t stand it anymore (I was failing almost every subject because I couldn’t see the blackboard and projector screen), I went to the eye doctor. A few days later I got glasses.

And I remember walking outside for the first time. I had to keep taking them off and putting them back on, I couldn’t believe that this is what things really looked like. I could see every leaf on the tree. All the petals and flowers in the garden. Every cloud in the sky. I remember kicking myself in the butt for denying myself of all this beauty for so long.

It’s the same with my sins. I think one of the best and worst parts about me is that I’m very aware of what’s going on. When I sin, it’s not by accident or because I didn’t know better. I know. I don’t accidentally break a fast. I just straight up break it. I don’t make bad decisions because of the situation I’m in or the stress that I’m under. I just straight up make bad decisions. I don’t just get caught up in the moment and talk bad about others, I formulate my words and thoughts and let out my judgements and anger. And I know it. And I know what the consequences of my actions will be. And I still do it.

But I also know, 100%, that there is something greater out there. I know that there has been a place prepared for those who love our God. And I know that if I keep refusing to see the beauty and glory all around me, I’m gonna miss out.

Lately, I find that my eyes have opened even wider to the life of mission. Often times have I subconsciously familiarized the works with mission, and often times have I had to remind myself that mission begins with relationships.

Without relationships, mission would not exist. It has been so long that I had been comfortable where I was that the comfort became something I did not even realize. I always thought that “being comfortable” referred to the comforts of service and my roles and responsibilities, but that comfort also lied within my current relationships. I realized that the people I often hang out with are people that I have become very comfortable with, so I decided to challenge myself. I sacrificed time with them in order to build on new and/ or existing relationships. Lo and behold, I had discovered a mine of hidden treasures.

When I challenged myself to step out of my comfortable relationships and deeper into those that were “uncomfortable” or unknown, I realized that there are things about people that truly show the victory of His love. Treasures that can only be discovered if you choose to look beyond the surface. Behind every person lies a love story with the Lord and if we decide to come out of our comforts, we will discover pieces of one great victory; a victory known as God. Each person is a piece of God waiting to be discovered and it is in treading in these new relationships that I am seeing how each one of us relates more and more with one another. It is in these relationships that I have seen that without knowing these people, there would be no mission.

To be a missionary is to serve those around us. But if we don’t know those around us, then how do we know our mission? This is where I realized that mission begins with relationships. We must understand those we serve to help understand what they need to help bring God to their hearts, but more importantly, we must come to know God (and God in them). Mission is sharing, and it isn’t just sharing logic, but sharing the presence and love of the Lord through personal victories and trials. If we remain with what is comfortable, we will be more tempted to sit back and relax and miss out on whatever opportunities and treasures are around us. That’s why I challenge myself (and yourself) to see what areas in our lives are uncomfortable? Dive deeper in those areas and I can guarantee that beyond all of those things lie treasures we have yet to discover. As Aerosmith sang,

“I don’t wanna close my eyes,
I don’t wanna fall asleep ’cause I’d miss you, baby,
And I don’t wanna miss a thing.”

Don’t miss out on more opportunities grow and love.
Don’t miss out on God.

AMDG.

Fall in Love
(Fr. Pedro Arrupe)

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

A professor shared this prayer to us a while back in one my theology classes, and it has never ceased to remind of what it means to live a purpose-driven life.  Most days I wake up not knowing what lies in store for me (still waiting to read a set of Job Description for Full-Time Work), and the illusion on certain mornings even is that there is “nothing to do”.

This is never really the situation though.

I am not simply a Worker fulfilling a list of responsibilities, but a servant responding to the Mission the loving Father asks of me, each and every single day.  On those lazy days, I must ask then, where are you calling me today, Lord? And when He replies, I answer.  Knowing fully well Who is asking, my Beloved, what is left to do but wanting to give my best to Him, from the very minute I wake up in the morning, until I lay to rest at night?

Fall in love. Stay in love. And it will decide everything. 

Today is Wednesday, the 31st of July 2013 and we pray the Glorious mysteries.

I boarded the plane this morning at about 9:30am. I asked the intercession of our  Blessed Mother to cover us and all those who are  traveling with her mantle of protection to keep us safe from sin and any harm.

The plane started to go faster as it prepared to take off. As we prayed the first mystery, the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, I was reminded of the resurrection that also happens in our very own lives through the grace of God. We have been resurrected from the death of our souls through our Lord Jesus Christ. The joy that is made available for us each and everyday is the product of the resurrection. We are made joyful by Our Father, In Him we find joy. The death that we suffer because of our sins and the hardness of our hearts are overcome through the amazing love from our Heavenly Father. In the resurrection, it is joy that we find, true joy that comes from the depths our hearts whose deep source is in the Lord. True joy that is everlasting, true joy that is divine.

As the plane rose from the ground, i was reminded of our rising, we have risen from the dead. We have been forgiven, we are saved. Through our Loving Saviour we rose from the dead and just as Jesus had ascended to heaven, He has also brought us with Him. Each and every day our Redeemer lifts us up, raises us up and brings us back to life. We our raised from the dead, our souls ascend to heaven to be purified and made holy. We are loved. We are made worthy by our King. He makes us worthy. He makes us complete. Our Heavenly Father brings us up to His presence and finds joy in us. He will never abandon us.

The descent of the Holy Spirit, the same spirit that moved the apostles is the same spirit that moves in us today. The very being of our Father in the Spirit makes us known that He is always with us, within us. This same spirit, our Lord God in His Humble Being, He lives within us, we are made holy. Through His Spirit, we are able to love. With this spirit, we are filled to brim, we are loved.

Our Mother assumed into heaven, so beautiful so divine. The loving presence of a mother through her, His light truly shines. She leads us closer to Jesus, her obedience inspires us to obey our Father. Our Holy Mother in Heaven, who is full of grace, who is with the Lord, who is with Father, who prays for us and intercedes for us. She brings light into our hearts.

The coronation of the Blessed Mother as queen of heaven and earth. The most humble of all,is she. With the Father who is the King of kings, and a mother crowned to be queen, we are princesses and princes of the heavenly courts. Let us value our presence in the light of the Father. Heirs and heiresses of the kingdom of God, we are royalty. In complete submission to our Father we are the ones given the favour. To live in a heavenly, majestic kingdom with a banquet that is never ending, We will never hunger. With a well that overflows with the blessings from the Lord, we shall never thirst.

In his glory we are saved. In each mystery we are conquered. With each prayer we are healed. With each breath we become lighter. With his mercy, we become one with the lord.