True North Missionaries Journal

“Music is the exaltation of the mind derived from things eternal, bursting forth in sound.”

This quote by St. Thomas Aquinas really sums up why music can be so profound, and really why it resonates with me. It’s truly amazing how music, from even generations ago can carry the same emotion, the same meaning that it had when it was created. Recently I was at mass, and during the singing of the hymns I began to cry. These weren’t tears of sadness however, it was just so moving to sing the words of the hymn, and to really understand what these words meant. If you take the time, to listen, really listen to the words that are sung, you realize these are prayers, and praises to our God. They are written by people just like you or me, with the same worries doubts or fears. They may have lived in a different time, or era, but they faced similar struggles, and through it all they with trust in the Lord they offered it up in prayer, in song.

Even within our own community, our worship songs go beyond just words. They are bold proclamations of the glory of God, they are the prayers of thanksgiving, or yearnings for God’s mercy. They have also come from people, who understand what it means to journey with the Lord, and in praying the songs we sing, we are are made to realize we that we are not alone. In singing these prayers with our brothers and sisters we are given a glimpse of the joy that awaits us in heaven. It’s simply beautiful. With Liveloud arriving around the corner, I grow more excited to be able to come together and praise our God once again. “Singing belongs to one who loves.” said St. Augustine of Hippo, and we are made to love. I pray that through my prayers, not just the spoken but also the sung, I may continue to grow deeper with the Lord. I pray that through sharing in the songs, of people come before me, I may also never forget that I am not alone on this journey to heaven.

Keegan

As I reach the end of my term serving here in the GTA. I realized something as I went to write in my journal. I had reached the end of my journal. This was the journal that I had started writing in when I first said yes to serving as the GTA West Sector head. And as we reach full circle and reach the end, this chapter in my life was coming to an end.

As I read through my journal, I saw the same prayers and desires and questions. But I also saw those prayers, desires and questions answered by God in the past two months. Aside from those two things that I prayed for the most, one thing was actually most prominent. And it was the desire to take that first step. To stop hiding behind the comfort of internal hope and put that faith into action.

God, let me take that first step.

And looking back on it, I noticed how fruitful those first steps were. No matter how difficult or awkward they were, they still proved to me how great God is. And that first step is and always will be responding to God’s prompting with a “Yes, Lord”.

To my service, to mission, to my vocation, all of this started with that first step.

Therefore, Lord, to what comes next, I fully trust You as I say “Yes, Lord”

AMDG

#ONRouteToHeaven

Time is a crazy thing. We spend it, use it, prepare it, plan it, save it, share it, hope for it, search for it, and waste it. Sometimes it goes by so slow in an agonizing fashion. Other times, it flies by like lightning. Time is very much a part of our lives. We always take notice of it whether explicitly or unknowingly. Why? Because it is always moving and we innately measure ourselves and where we are in comparison to time. While civilizations came and went, lands joined or separated, time kept moving forward.

Time is something human. Time is something earthly.

As of late, the Lord has placed blessing after blessing in my life. Flooding my life with victories to claim. Some in the form of people. Some in small moments. Some in the big moments. Some as answered prayers. And others in the simple affirmations from the Lord. But as much as I am happy to have these things, I haven’t had time. Time to process these things or even enjoy these things. Everything has been happening so fast. And pondering on it for the past few days, I kept asking God why after each victory something else would come up. I kept requesting for at least some more time.

God is not bounded by time.

I had forgotten that God does not work in my time or that His plans are according to my time. Instead, God had already planned everything. It’s just a matter of me staying faithful and trusting that the Lord will take care of me. While continuing to walk forward with conviction not crippled by time but looking towards a God not bound by time.

Trusting the Lord, trusting His plans and his timing, has gotten me this far. So why stop now? I entrust to the Lord, my family. I entrust to the Lord, my future family. I entrust to the Lord, my friends. I entrust to the Lord, my strengths and weaknesses. I entrust to the Lord, my very life.

#NoTime_

AMDG

#ONRouteToHeaven

Lord, You are

the curator of my dreams
the air in my lungs
the beat of my heart
the painter of my every sunrise and sunset
the keeper of promises
the purpose in my every step
the love of my life

my favourite song to sing
my saving grace
my everything
my home

Alodia

The ending of the first reading for the day that I’m writing this says “for I am with you, Yahweh declares, to rescue you.” Jer 17-19. I use to never expect much from God, I was always scared that if I prayed really hard for something, and I didn’t get it, I would break, and lose faith. Ultimately what happened is that I did break and it was faith that would get me not what I wanted but what I needed.

Well it’s official I’ve been at my job for one year now. By far the greatest experiences I’ve had in this first year that I’ve had a job was being able to travel to the Philippines (and Korea kind of) for the first time by myself to attend the ICON. Since I was in secondary school I have been on and off the job hunt with an online application here, job fair there, and the occasional interview that lead no where, and doing this over years I had become callus about job applications.

However in the month that I got hired was a lot different. I didn’t really know that I was claiming it or what “claiming it” even meant, but in the month or so before I got my job I knew I would go to ICON. Around this time it would have been the middle of summer, I had not payed my tuition for the previous school semester, so there was no way I could go to my second year, and I was surviving of the last of scraps of a freelance job I had been payed very late for, oh and of course my credit card was maxed out (as it always is in these kind of stories). In spite of all this, I said to myself “I am going to ICON”.

Now I didn’t have the same kind of confidence in the statement as it make it to seem, again, at the time I didn’t have a job and it didn’t look like I could be going back to school anytime soon. In a very desperate attempt to get my life back to together I applied for and got an interview for a job inside of a new warehouse, and I was prepared to take the job full time and not go back to school. After the interview I had a Leaders Assembly to attend right after so I went straight there from my interview. Before the assembly even began I actually got an email saying they would not be continuing with my application, I remember being really upset, that I actually left the room of the assembly to be alone in the church. I don’t remember what exactly my thoughts were, but I just kept thinking that nothing was going my way, I need this job so badly and I had no idea what I was going to do.

A week or two pass, and I end up applying for a job, for the second time actually at my second location of choice, and low and behold I actually got called in for an interview. I had known many other people who had also gotten the same job that I was interviewing for so I actually went into the interview felling more prepared than ever. I had gone to general area of the interview really early as I was compelled to go the parish nearby St. Patricks for a casual visit. What ended up becoming of it was that there was actually adoration occurring, so I ended up actually staying a good 30-40 minutes, and so I took a street car to the venue. After getting off however I realized I had gotten the address wrong, and that the interview was taking place 30 minutes away from where I was which was the same amount of time I had left before my interview. Right away I called an Uber (mind you I’m still barely surviving. I actually made my interview with good time, everything seemed fine, and I was ready to kill it at my interview, but the interview ended up being 5 minutes max, two questions and I request to smile for 30 seconds (I’m serious). I left the interview not feeling good about it. I ended up meeting with a friend who also had an interview for the same job afterwords, and we talked about it.

What came next is perhaps one of the greatest moments of grace in my recent life, because I actually got called saying I got the job, needless to say I was ecstatic. What I ended up coming away from this, over a year later has actually been a lesson that the Lord has been trying to teach me for this past year, and that is on desiring. I was always looking for a job, but I really only wanted it for a vague sentiment of “saving up”, and actually during this whole story wanting to go to ICON wasn’t even on my mind, I was actually just desperate, and at this point I wasn’t relying on myself anymore.

 

Short reflection but really something that stuck out to me from serving at CFC conference.

What does it mean to be a Full-Time Pastoral Worker? Since joining this MVA Program I have been trying to answer that question. It’s not exactly simple, there’s a great deal of complexity that goes with that title, but this weekend serving at CFC conference, I got a glimpse of what it might entail.

Program is arguably one of my favorite service roles. It’s often one of the most stressful, as your called to focus on many different tasks at the same time; listening to your clearcom, watching the stage, paying attention to your surroundings. But it always leaves me in awe to see everything come together, like an intricate machine, with many moving parts. At the CFC conference this weekend all the local full-Time workers were in some way serving as part of the program, as tech booth, managers, or in production. The interesting part however is not where they served but rather how they served, because in spite of the stressful roles they were given their hearts were set on caring for those around them, and guiding the entire conference. Even in the midst of their tiredness they would always make time to check up on those around them, to share a conversation, a laugh, or see if they’ve eaten. They made sure to never let the burden of their service affect the love that they gave to those in need. Needless to say I was taken back, and I honor each of them for what they do. This life that they chose, a life that I’m seeking isn’t an easy one, and it opened my eyes to what the “pastoral” means in full-time pastoral worker. To love..  As a missionaries in this community we are more than just event organizers, and managers. We are shepherds of a flock, called to look after those whom the Lord has blessed us with, to pastor and guide. We are called most especially be be a reflection of Christ wherever we are and in everything that we do. This doesn’t just end at being a missionary but rather in all aspects of life, at work, school, with family and friends, we are called to love. Loving isn’t always going to be easy, there are times when the weariness of life will bring us down, and or when we lose sight of those around us because of stress, but we must always remember that we are always equipped to love because of Christ’s love within us. Our love is an outpouring of His love for us, and the more we come to know Christ, the more we imitate Him in all that we do, the better we can love like Him.

What it means to be a full-time pastoral worker may be a complex question, and while I may not have the answer yet, I know it’s foundation is built upon with love. As I reflect on myself, I see that I still have a lot to learn when it comes to being a missionary, but I pray that through deepening my own relationship with the Lord I can learn to share even a fraction of the love He has for me.

Keegan

If you’ve ever gone on a mission trip, you know that it’s an event that can’t really be described, only experienced. It’s  a bizarre mix of preparedness and spontaneity. It always serves as a reminder of that the Holy Spirit truly is present in the community.

I’ve been on a few mission trips in my time serving the community, but this was my first experience leading one. We were instructed to lead an HHLT ( Household Leader’s Training), Household proper, and a mid-year planning all in the span of a day and a half. With just a three person team, it was a lot to tackle, and with less than a day of planning, I knew this was going to be a long two days, but I never like to turn down a challenge, so I was excited to take it on.

After a five-hour car ride to Windsor, we settled down and began planning for the two days ahead of us. It soon dawned upon me that with so few hands, I as a team leader would end up being playing many roles, music min, worship leader, session speaker, facilitator, and so much more. I’m usually a person who loves to do things spontaneously, but the as the household progressed I found myself jumping between so many roles I often lost what I was even supposed to be doing. Needless to say a little more than stressful, but by God’s grace, we got through it. As we stopped to catch our breath and  braced ourselves for two more events to come, our CC’s mentioned that there was a youth was celebrating their birthday with a barbeque, and the invitation was open to all of us. We were running on a tight schedule, so naturally, we were hesitant at first, but we definitely needed a break, so we decided to take them up on the offer.

We arrived at the party and were surprised to be greeted with warm welcomes and smiles, and after some short introductions, the CC’s left to go catch up with each other, and the youth were left to simply just play in the backyard. Despite being at a party I still couldn’t relax, on the back of my mind was all of the work that was still needed to be done, but something kept urging me to let loose. It’s amazing how fellowship doesn’t have to be complicated, it’s the simplicity of just spending time together, and really goes to show how the Lord’s love is simple. Never before had the simpleness of playing sports, and riding bikes around a neighbourhood been so much fun. We played games, ate food and laughed for what felt like hours. I experienced a joy that took me back to my early days in the community as a member. It was a reminder of how far the Lord has taken me, and how much more he has yet to reveal to me.  As the day winded down we watched the sun set I decided to take one last bike ride around the block. As I rode through the empty streets(with my helmet of course) and looked up at the painted sky, I felt an unexplainable peace, and in my heart, I heard the Lord say, “Trust me”, and “I will take care of You”.

It was a stark reminder that I am loved and taken care of so well, but I am not in control. The mission doesn’t really need us, but rather we need the mission. We are doing the Lord’s work, this is his vineyard, and we are but the workers. The work that we do helps us to better see God and know Him, and ultimately to better love Him and share His love. Sometimes however amidst the busyness of life, we like to desire that sense of control, but it’s only in surrendering to God and allowing Him to take care of us that we can truly do what He has set in place. Serving is the act of servanthood, which in its simplest form is submitting to God’s will. I pray that I can truly trust the Lord in all things, surrendering to Him all that I do because with Him all things are possible.

“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:13

Keegan