True North Missionaries Journal

Sometimes we feel like God is hard to find. There are times where prayers aren’t answered or when we don’t feel His presence, especially in times of great need or despair. We start to question ourselves. We start to question God. Does God really exist? Why would He let this happen to me? to my family? to him? to her? to us?

There are four essential elements of our faith: the profession of faith, the sacraments of faith, the life of faith, and the prayer of the believer. When we question God’s existence because of an unanswered prayer or feeling a lack of presence, we should ask ourselves  the following: which element of faith do I need to grow in more?

The profession of faith is our creed. We say it every Sunday at Mass. There are many times where I say it out of memory, rather than with my heart. Do I really believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and of earth? Do I really believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ? Do I really believe that for MY salvation, He came down from heaven?

The sacraments of faith are outward signs of inward grace. They nourish us and help us grow in virtue. Have I gone to the Sacrament of Reconciliation? Have I received Holy Communion?

The life of faith are the commandments. They allow us to live a purposeful life with integrity. Do I live by the commandments? Do I look at the commandments as an upward calling? Do they limit me or set me free?

Lastly the prayer of the believer is the Lord’s prayer. We start by honouring Him, asking that His will be done on earth, to give us our daily needs, to forgive us as we forgive others, and to deliver us from evil. Do I honor God? Do I seek to do His will rather than my own? Do I rely on God to give me what I need, not just what I want? Do I seek His forgiveness?

At the end of the day, we all can grow in these four areas. In fact, we will never stop growing.  We begin to understand and know the Lord more to the best of our abilities, day by day. We grow in wisdom. God’s glory is revealed in that we finally understand and recognize that there is another level of reality that we will never be able to understand or see. God is God and we are not. There is so much peace in knowing that we have a God who knows all, from the depths of the oceans, to the heights of the mountain, to the inner most desires of our heart.

Spirit of Wisdom, guide me with the light of Your revelation.

During the Christmas season, everyone is usually stuck in the hustle and bustle of everything. From the Christmas shopping, to the family parties, parties with friends, midnight feasts, New Year’s parties, and the list goes on! It is often celebrated with many, many people with everyone contributing a little something to create some sort of grand feast! And as often as this has happened in the past 22 years of my life, “last year” and “this year” (end of 2013/ beginning of 2014), it was different for me. What was evident this season that stood apart from the rest was that the Lord was calling me to a simpler and more intimate celebration.

1. Instead of going out with our friends or going to a club or something else for a “Chritmas Event Special”, my sister and I just stayed at the Adoration Chapel before midnight Mass and sang “Happy Birthday” to Jesus.
2. We didn’t have a big feast after midnight Mass on Christmas. My family and I just came home to open presents, followed by a game night, and coffee/ tea, yet it was STILL a filling night, accompanied with much laughter.

3. Christmas is usually spent with all of our relatives, but this year, it was just my Ninong Edward and his wife, Reyshell, accompanied by a Skype call with my other Ninong and Ninang and my cousins from the Philippines. However, this was the first Skype call that lasted 3 hours – 2 hours of which was spent talking and catching up with my cousins.

4. We were supposed to have a New Year’s Eve party with a few CFC families, but it was cancelled because a lot of our family members became ill! Instead, our family ate a simple meal and watched movies while drinking hot beverages, and played games until the countdown.
5. After the countdown, the first thing my family did was pray the Rosary.

So what is God’s message to me here?

"PRIORITIZE THE BLESSINGS I HAVE GIVEN YOU; NEVER TAKE ANYTHING - no matter how grand or how simple - FOR GRANTED. I HAVE NEVER GIVEN YOU, NOR WILL I EVER GIVE YOU ANYTHING THAT IS LESS THAN A GIFT."

This is when I was able to look back. Throughout the year, the infamous complaints I have heard from and for myself and/or many others were either…

1. “You barely have time for service.”
2. “You barely have time for your family.”
3. “You barely have time for you friends.”
4. “You barely have time for me.” – typically coming from one’s significant other
5. “You barely have time for yourself.”

BOTTOM LINE: YOU BARELY HAVE TIME.

We are always given time. We have 365 days a year to balance all of this out! Yet for some reason, we “barely have time”. This season was so simple, yet it was so intimate. When I opened my gifts this Christmas, I realized that they have been the most simplest gifts I had ever received, but they were THE BEST because they weren’t the “give-whatever-you-can” kind of gifts; they were small, simple, but the most thoughtful.

And when it came down to time, I spent as much of it as I could with my family because more than half of the year and about half the days of each week or two, my days are committed to CFC Youth (service), BR/ movie/ “chillage” dates with my friends, and personal time through the Sacraments at the Church. Because I am currently blessed to have my family, CFC Youth, a nearby parish, friends, relatives, and my own house to live in, I have been trying to keep a balance in ALL OF THESE GIFTS so that I may not only feel that they are equally as important, but also so that they may also feel how equally important they are to me too. At the end of the day…

… they are all His gifts that He has chosen to bless me with
… I am called to love them and respect them each as equally as the other
… BECAUSE THEY ARE HIS GIFTS WHICH HE HAS HUMBLY CHOSEN TO ENTRUST ME WITH IN MY TIME ON EARTH, I must constantly pray for direction for when to share my time with God (which is every moment of my life) with them in His time. 

Time does not belong to me, nor do any of these precious gifts. Therefore, I must carefully take care of them all, respect and love them all, and not take any of them for granted under any circumstance.

THEY ARE HIS GIFTS - GIVEN, CARED FOR, LOVED, AND GROWN IN HIS TIME.

I looked at my personal goals and my mini-bucket list of 2013 just before New Year ’s Eve.  I am surprised that majority as-in 85-90% of the things I wrote were met. I smiled that everything almost happened. However there were many more things that happened which I did not take note before but made me so much happier.

When I was writing my list when 2013 started, I kind of predicted already how it will look like. For this year 2014, I have written my personal goals and mini-bucket list again but I will change my prediction how this year will look like in the end. I will not stick to what I have listed, I will expect more because I know God will do more again just like this year. Thank you God!

Its been a while…I’ve been meaning to post, but complications with this and that, and blah and blah. I think God wanted me to write at this time anyways.

Just reflecting on the new year to come and how every year I always think to myself of how much for the better I’m going to be, whether physically, mentally, spiritually; I’ve come to the conclusion that, i feel as if I’m losing more of me every year.

Okay…I don’t get it. What do you mean?

I feel like I don’t have the confidence I used to. I’m totally afraid of rejection. I feel really emotionally unstable at times.  *Side note, I never used to be like this..in fact quite opposite.*

BUT, there is something to get out of it.

One thing that keeps ringing in my head, that I know for sure God is telling me is,

“Don’t let the no’s, affect your yes’s.”

Rest assure God set things up the way they are, or how they play out. What use would the full armor of God be if it were never battle tested?

As for being afraid of rejection or being unstable at times, all in all, how you take it is a mere reflection on how much do you really trust in the Lord’s plans? Maybe I need to purify everything a bit more. The Lord will reveal what He wants, in His time, and not when I desire it.

This new year, isn’t for a new me. This year, is merely a better version of the person God created, for God.

Lord, there are things and people that I have been praying for day in, and day out but Lord, You hold it all in Your hands. As the new year goes by, I already know I will be tested. I will have bad days, good days, but in everything  that I do, may I continue to ask to be a better version of myself, simply just for You. I need You, Lord.

Deo Gloria

 

Praise God for last year! It consisted of moments of joy and peace with a fair share of hardship and trials. But at the end of it all, I can look back at this being the best year of my life! I have experienced the fruits of living each day for the Lord. I have witnessed first hand what happens when I say no to God and yes to my selfish wants – emptiness and restlessness – and when I say yes to God and no to my selfish wants – peace, love, and joy.

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God as well as the beginning of a new year. Mama Mary was instrumental in receiving all of those blessings and graces in 2013. She brought me to the Lord and she prepared me to receive Him. Our Mother helps us align our will with the Lord’s will. When we do what the Lord wants us to do, our life is filled with purpose and it is better than we had hoped or dreamed of. Together, let us consecrate this year and ourselves to Mary the Mother of God! She will help us live a life worth living!

 

I have recently, truly grown very fond of the Holy Family. They have been the greatest example of many, many things in life, and it seems like as each day goes by, the list grows closer to endless! Mama Mary and Joseph have been one of the greatest examples of a humility, love and faith.

How trusting and loving must Mary have been to bear a child in the midst of her engagement with Joseph, finding peace in nothing else, but the love of the Lord through the message of an angel?
AND
How humble must Joseph have been to not only want to protect Mary by trying to let her go quietly to save her from shame and humility from everyone else once he discovered that she was pregnant? And how servant-like slave-like (in a divine and honourable way) must he have been to completely change his plans to protect Mary, accepting her as his bride instead, and loving her as his spouse and the spouse of God above all else, through the message of an angel in a dream?? How faithful must the two have been? How BLESSED must they have been to be chosen to bring His Son into this world? Emmanuel… God with us…
AND
Jesus never disgraced his parents. He never yelled at them profusely. He never ran away out of hatred for his parents. He never disobeyed the will of God… And above all, he never failed to love. He was hurt, angered, frustrated, humiliated, betrayed, persecuted, sacrificed (by man for our salvation), yet he never failed to love. Even as God told him that he must die to bring us salvation, although he was afraid, he never ran away. He respected his Father, our mother – Mama Mary, his father – Joseph, his disciples, His followers, all the strangers above all else.

My family and I do no always get along. We definitely disagree at times. We may have a few (or more) useless arguments, but when these arguments happen, I should look to Jesus as an example of the perfect Son. I should never yell at my parents with condescending tones and words. I should never intentionally make them feel guilty to get my way. I should never act like I know better because months and years later, I will see that I really don’t. MY FAMILY IS ANNOINTED. And it is in this that I can also say that it goes both-ways with my family of CFC Youth!

In service, I know that I will not always get along with EVERYONE around me. I may not always agree and come to terms with my upper leaders and those whom I serve the same way I do not always come to terms with my parents. And in the same way…  I should never yell at them with condescending tones and words. I should never intentionally make them feel guilty to get my way. I should never act like I know better because years later, I will see that I really don’t. THE CFC COMMUNITY IS ANNOINTED. And also, as a leader, I must look to Mama Mary as an example of the kind of presence I must bring to those I serve. No matter what happens, I must always  be humble, and trust, believe, love, hope and have faith that God is always there.

I must continue to look to the Holy Family as my example; especially Jesus. Jesus was able to respect his parents and those around him and hold his ground and act in love, not because he knew his place, but because he knew His place. It isn’t a matter of knowing my place, but rather knowing the place of God in my life. When I seek and see this, it is much easier to act completely with Love, as opposed to acting out of pride…

JMJ, thank you for constantly revealing to me, the beauty of a family through the love and mercy of God. JMJ, please be with us and pray for us, always! Amen.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen in “Seven Words of Jesus and Mary: Lessons from Cana to Calvary said, “Never forget that there are only two philosophies to rule your life: the one of the cross, which starts with the fast and ends with the feast. The other of Satan, which starts with the feast and ends with the headache.”

As we end the year, may we end with the feast, knowing that after all been said and done, God was good to us for the entire year.  And as we start the new year may we start it with the full knowledge that there will crosses ahead, however carrying with Christ makes it redemptive.

Lord allow us to finish strong and grant us the grace start  right. Amen.