True North Missionaries Journal

Everything In Its Time

Ecclesiastes 3:11 say, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

When 2013 was about to end, there was so much anticipation as to the announcement of who will be endorsed for fulltime mission. Emotions runs from excitement to anxiety and I felt like moved back again 10 years ago when we were training for fulltime missions. It was the first formal training, so everything I guess was experimental, you can say we were the guinea pigs. I remember after the training, questions were running into our mind but no one can answer. The thing is we finished the training but there was no word if we did passed or not. We didn’t have exit interview and no one said the definite decision only that they said we would know it soon. We went back to our area with question hanging in our mind, it took almost a year before an official letter came that we indeed passed the training and that we are officially fulltime.

It was funny because I did have some questions, but I guess I was so focused on the mission in my area that even if months had passed, I did not even bothered about that “official letter” thing at all. I felt like with or without it I am a missionary and I was so convicted about it.

Sometimes I wonder am I still that same courageous man who answered the call 10 years ago? With battles  fought, I got scarred both in and out. And now, I am even scared at times when a brother or sister say, I want to be fulltime. At the back of my mind, do you really want it? I mean, mission is fun, I never had been so happy in my life than in mission. However, joy does not mean no pain. All these years I will say as the song “Everything In Its Time” written by Corrine May, “There are a thousand reasons why I should give up but I’m stubborn in the things I believe.”

So is this your call? God knows and you know. And in between the fulfillment of that call, we fall in silent adoration to God knowing His will be done always in His time.

Here are the lyrics of that song:

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it’s hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I’m two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I’m stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

’cause maybe there’s another plan
One I still can’t see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Mission, family, calling, whatever vocation of life, God makes all things beautiful in His time.

It has been a few months now since my parents have begun their CLP. I have shared it a few times during meetings as one of my blessings, but I’ve only decided to write about it now, partially out of fear that my eagerness and excitement might backfire on me.

My dad had not grown up in a religious family, so when he had married my mom at the age of 30, he was so out of touch with his religion that he didn’t even know how to say the Our Father. My mom, more into her faith than my dad, came to Canada before us and began working. When I arrived at age 5, my parents began working extensively, even on weekends. I remember though, as young as I was, God still carried me to church in the snow and sleet in the arms of my mom’s younger sisters, each and every Sunday.

At the age of 5, I had joined the first ever KFC Camp in Ottawa, but as my parents were not CFC, I lost touch with the CFC community directly after. It wasn’t until years later, at the age of 14, that I attended my first youth camp. I was invited to gatherings and took part in events, but more importantly, I fell madly and deeply in love with the Lord. At the age of 19, I officially became the sister Area Head of Ottawa. My parents were not always supportive of this as my service role quickly proved to require a lot of my time and energy. In fact, there was even a time when they had asked me to step down.

But as you may know, I held fast and continued to serve. It has been a long while since then and I have been in the community for a little over a decade now and my parents have grown spiritually as well. We began to attend mass on Sundays as a family, although my parents would stay sitting in the pew as my brothers and I squeezed by them to go up for communion. One day, (with a little nudging from God) I was able to muster enough courage and meekly told them about the importance of the Eucharist. The following Sunday, no one was left in our row.. they began joining us in line.

Honestly, I was happy for this already. Not just happy, I was incredibly joyous! I watched as my parents, especially my dad, became more patient and God fearing. It was beautiful. We would eat out after mass and discuss matters of faith, of God, of what we just heard during the homily. I felt joy in being able to share this aspect of my life with my parents… I felt so grateful to God for calling them closer to Him and for bringing us closer as a family.

I had long left behind the idea of my parents becoming CFC members. They were always busy, and I was already grateful for the man and woman of God they became. They were hesitant as it was never really “their thing.” So how did God slowly bring my mom and dad to CFC when they were initially hesitant about me even being in the community, let alone being a leader in it?

Well, I think they started to truly understand the goodness of the community when I really started to walk my talk. In fact, they made it a priority that my younger brothers join too. Then I started including them in my plans. Before I would simply leave the house for an activity or event then come home afterwards, but instead I started asking them to come with me. I remember there was a GA and I was tasked to bring drinks, so my parents offered to drop me off before heading to run errands for the rest of the day. When we arrived at church, they helped me unload the car and decided to come in to say hello. To my (great) surprise, they ended up taking a seat and listening to the teaching. They stood there during the worship, and bought food that the youth were selling afterwards.

Months after, my mom volunteered for RYC and helped during registration. She stayed behind to hear my talk which was pretty special since this was the first in all my years that she has heard. Weeks afterwards, my parents were invited by my CCs to come to the park for a post-RYC victory celebration. My mom sat at the table with the moms and my dad was playing tennis and walking around with the dads. My heart was doing laps around the park out of joy.

Months passed again and I remember hearing the voicemail from my old CCs inviting my parents for CLP. It had already been 11 years since I joined the community and year in and year out my parents replied with a firm “no” to becoming a member. I thought this would just be another failed attempt and I felt almost bad that my parents were being asked again. One day, my mom matter-of-factly told me that they were going to attend “that thing at church.” As I was packing for Duc in Altum a few days after, I went into my parents’ room to retrieve thick wool socks from my dad’s drawer and I heard him on the phone with his work.  He told them that his family was coming over Sunday and he couldn’t go in. I asked him who was coming over and he said, “No, remember? We have that ‘that thing at church’.” LOL that thing at church. My parents are funny. Although I’m laughing here as I look back, at the time, best believe I was crying tears of joy.

And so CLP began and they were present weekly.  On a random evening after I came home late at night, my mom told me what happened that made them go. She said that she wasn’t planning on attending, but late at night after they received the call, my dad told her that he thought it was time to go. “We have everything now; it’s time for us to go back to God.” She said he was crying. (Sidenote: I’ve only ever seen my dad cry a handful of times in my life, when he found out his dad died, during his dad’s funeral… yeah, pretty much less than five.) During my conversation with my mom, she told me that one of my youth’s parents (non-CFC) were next. “Do you really think so? Their daughter thinks it would be a miracle.”

“Tell her we were a miracle.”

Sigh, God is good.

Jealousy, pride, envy…. it’s all around us! One betrays his brother out of jealousy or some sort of pride. It even often seeps into our families: 

“Out of the wicked comes forth wickedness.”
(1 Samuel 24: 13)

With every year that comes and goes, I tell myself that something has to change by this time next year. I need to increase my prayer life. I need to have an increased active lifestyle. I need to write more songs. I need to learn outside of my job so I can be successful in my job. The list goes on and on and on.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my best friend and was reminded of the urgency needed to set goals. Effective goal setting requires commitment and conviction but also the grace of God and willingness to be held accountable. In some cases, it requires radical decisions, feeling uncomfortable, and being ready to sacrifice.

There are a handful of things in my life that have to change. Yesterday, I realized what one of them was. And so I made a goal to turn my life around. It will be challenging just like any other goal. But if it’s done for the glory of God, then I have nothing to lose. This journey will incorporate my willingness to change, to be vulnerable to others, and to cooperate with the grace of God to be better.

Through God’s grace and my cooperation with it, I will be a better man because I have set a goal.

 

There are 2 instances that stood out this week. The first one was on the way home, I decided that I will drop by somewhere first. The weather in Vancouver in the past days had been relatively warm, so while walking I tried to tie up my hair but I realized that I don’t have any hair tie. The whole time walking to the train station I was looking at the ground hoping to find one. (I didn’t want buy one coz I still have a lot in the house). I took the train but did not find one. I went to the bus stop and by this time I was a bit hopeless to find a rubber band or hair tie. I went to the passenger’s line and right there in front of me was a hair tie. I smiled thanking God!

The second one took place when I was about to buy an add-on to my bus ticket since I was going to another zone. I was telling myself that it’s my last cash and when I counted it, it was not enough. When the girl infront of me saw it, she handed me her friend’s ticket who did not go with her anymore. Again I smiled, thanking God!

The Lord really knows everything we need even the simple not so important things. He is always on time – never late and never early.  I know this is also the same with the things that matters more to us, He will be there on time – His time.

 

 

“Lord time is in your hands, you are the beginning and h the end. You know everything, you know the perfect timing. Teach me to be patient as I wait for each of your promises to come true and may I always find joy uncovering the gifts the you have for me everyday.”

 

Candy

Philippians 1:29

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.-Proverbs 3:5-6

I’m going to do the best I can to keep this simple in relation to things I’ve been experiencing/reflecting on.

We’ve been taught or shown how to do things. How to really make sure what we are doing is in the way Christ would want us to do things. Over all, we are called to love.

Whooptie do, tell us something we don’t know…

We can line things up, follow protocol, do this and do that to insure that what we are expecting could happen…but in the end…It’s God’s plans. Even though you may work days, months, or even years trying to “line things up” the right way, it might just not be in God’s will for you to expect what you are expecting to get out of it…

Point is this. That’s why its so important to keep a consistent prayer life..and a consistent life to love…

So that’s two different things…love…lining things up…so what?

Things may not go as planned. But in the end, Christ still has that very same calling for us to continue to love. Love Him, love others…

Love is not based on our understanding…it’s based on acceptance.

We will never understand why God lets things happen the way it happens. But the moment we learn to just accept it, we are living a life of true love and faith to our God.

As hard as it is, lets accept God’s plans whether at first we find it to be a victory or a cross…

So the equation is… God is love. We are called to love. To love we must accept. Accept God in His decisions for your life.

Pray for me. Like any human being, any member of this community, I’m struggling with accepting things/people that I’ve been trying to love for years. I’ve lined things up, in hopes of begging God for this and that to happen. But in the end, its God’s plans. If this is what He wants, then I will love through acceptance.

Again, Pray for me. I’ll be praying for you.

Lord, may I search deeper in hopes of finding you more and more each day. I don’t understand, but that’s okay. I’m trying to accept what it is you want for me right now. I need You more than ever. Amen.

Deo Gloria.

 

SORROW.

It is often regarded to be negative, often expected to lead us towards sadness. But if SORROW truly is a saddening word, then how could our Mother take on a character of, “Our Lady of Sorrows”? Surely, there must be something good in this if our Mother could carry the name in holiness…

By its definition, SORROW means, “a feeling of deep distress”; it does not mean sadness… I believe that sadness is automatically assumed to follow sorrows because we LET IT. But what if instead of allowing sadness to creep in, we allow our sorrows to lead us to SALVATION?

What caused our Lady to take on the character of Our Lady of Sorrows? Because by the name and will of the Lord, she allowed her sorrows to strengthen her rather than bring her down! According to the Dogmatic Constitution of the Catholic Church (#58), “She stood in keeping with the divine plan, suffering grievously with her only-begotten Son. There she united herself, with a maternal heart, to His sacrifice, and lovingly consented to the immolation of this Victim which she herself had brought forth.” What makes this so great to me is how Mary portrays how real and possible it is to let our SORROWS LEAD TO SALVATION; IT CAN ONLY BE DONE WITH A DEEP LOVE FOR THE LORD, like His love for us…

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart.”
(Jeremiah 29: 11-13)

If we are with the Lord, then we cannot remain “depressed” or lay in sadness, for like Mary, even at the foot of the cross where her Son stood nailed before her, she united her heart with the Lord and trusted in His divine plan; a plan for welfare and not for evil. Through his death on the cross, her Son defeated evil and opened the gates to our salvation. And as she BEHELD and PONDERED, the Lord took care of her:

“When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your Mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his home.”
(John 19: 26-27)

God provided for her and took care of her in her times of sorrow… WHY? Because she kept trust in His divine plan despite of her sorrows. And it is in the Lord, and with the guidance and example of our Mother that we can find SALVATION IN OUR SORROWS.