Photo Enforced

photo enforcedLast Monday I was driving to work, it was a rush hour and I was one of those who try to beat the clock. It’s Monday, what do you expect??? I was driving fast but tried to keep my limit (of course taking advantage over speeding tolerance, which I love! :p). Then suddenly the driver in front of me stepped on his break and slowed down – on a green light. And I figured out why: On that intersection is a sign: PHOTO ENFORCED.

In Manitoba where there is 10kph over speeding tolerance, most drivers go beyond the speed limit, and then slow down when they know they’re passing by a road camera. For those who know my driving, I know what you think; I am guilty of this too. Come on, all the drivers are! 🙂

We just love to run fast, and then slow down when we know we are being “watched”. Sometimes people are not aware and will just be surprised by that 1/40,000sec flash (I am exaggerating). It’s a pain in the pocket, I know, but there are just some lessons that we need to learn the hard way.

Oftentimes, this busy world requires us to move faster and tend to forget that God is watching us… watching our actions, watching our thoughts, watching our words. And we are all aware of that and still we choose to violate some rules… we become impatient, we skip our prayer time, we judge people, we hold grudge, we let our pride rule…

We choose to give in to our weaknesses. We choose to ignore God.

Take time to slow down, because unless we do, we will not see the warnings on the road. Unless we slow down, we will not hear what God tells us. We will go where we want to go, do things our own way not seeing the warnings God is presenting to us. And sometimes God has to use His “flash” to get our attention. He takes photo of us so we can evidently see how fast or how far we’ve gone and what we’ve done wrong. He has to put us in different situations, sometimes painful situations that don’t just let us slow down, but have us take a full stop.

Friends, don’t learn things the hard way. Follow God’s directions. He is watching, twenty four hours. #jet 🙂

My Safe Refuge

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I always had a clear picture of my dream house – floor to ceiling windows, beige and white dĂ©cor, a nice backyard, flowers in the front garden, and a beautiful red door. For the longest time I felt like I was on the right track towards this ideal dream – finished my program at 20, got my dream job at the hospital, travelled, spent time building beautiful and meaningful friendships, service with the youth was going well, family doing well, etc. I felt happy – I felt like I had it all. And the Lord was there through all of it; no doubt He is the source of the joy I felt when these dreams were coming to life.

And then one day He decided to tell me, “I have something better for you.” And just like that -I felt like I was back to square one with my “life plan.” What’s going to happen to my dream of building my dream house? How can You possibly plan something better than what I already had in mind?

But He does. He always has the best for those whom He loves so much. And in this case, it wasn’t that He didn’t want me to have my dream house – He wanted me to realize He is my dream home. He is my heart’s desire. That when I wake up in the morning He is the first to possess all my thoughts, words, and my whole being; and when I go to bed at night, loving Him will be the first thing I look forward to in the morning. I don’t have to worry about creating my dream house, when being in heaven is the ultimate home. And that is enough. God is enough 🙂

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4

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Connecting on His level…

Currently, I am undergoing my second of three practica with UBC Faculty of Education to become a high school English teacher. I love everything about literature and how our way to communicate thoughts and ideas come alive on a page through what our minds imagine. For the most part, it has been an enjoyable experience couples with trying times. However, what makes it all worth while is the connection I make with my students.

I am teaching Martel’s Life of Pi to my English 12 students, a story rich in religion and story telling. If you’ve read the novel (or watched the movie), you’ll know what I mean. It’s a rather dense book and my 12s struggled with reading simply because there was too much detail involved but we are getting through it well in these last few weeks that I have with them.

As a teacher, you run into all sorts of predicaments – half your class signs up for the Socials 11 field trip to Victoria or a Business Communications 12 trip to Seattle meaning they will all end up missing two lessons where you can’t really teach anything, or some will end up talking out of turn wanting to push the last of your buttons, or you’ll get that one student who gives up completely because he asks himself, “What’s the point?”

There is one student of mine in particular who I’ve only seen a total of four classes since February started. He had a great energy about him. He didn’t always participate in class but when he volunteered, the ideas he provided were insightful. He is witty and hilarious. His strength though is in creative writing and I was able to see that today.

He showed up for the first time in the longest time and participated in today’s activity – create an abecedarian (a list of words from A-Z about a particular topic) about Pi’s survival and then retro the story using the words you’ve come up with in order from A-Z. He was on fire – his vocabulary was exquisite, his story-telling so detailed that I’ve never seen such vigour and passion in him ever. He totally delivered.

One of the things I love doing is being able to talk to my students at their level. I asked him to stay behind and have a conversation with me. I asked him to be honest with me and tell me what’s been happening. He was open and honest with me about what was happening that caused him to give up on himself – he just wanted to pass the course without putting any effort whatsoever, so he’d end up coming to school late every class and I’d have to send him to detention on Fridays. This combined with expectations from parents and him failing the course caused him to rationalize that skipping school was the only alternative. He spoke with his older sister about it over Spring Break and he had reality shoved in his face. “Would you rather graduate with your friends or be yelled at all the time because of mom and dad?”

We talked for 30 minutes. He said he wanted to make up for all the work he missed and that he didn’t intentionally skip because he didn’t like me. I thanked him for his honesty and I told him that I expected better from him, that he is a totally capable student, that I enjoy his presence in my classroom, that I totally believe he can write anything, and that he can totally pull through and pass the course. He’s inspired and motivated to finish the race set before him.

Before we ended our conversation, he told me that he does a lot of creative writing on his own time (3000-5000 word entries every week) and he asked if I wanted to see his work. I said of course. And he said, “Thank you for believing in me still.” He shook my hand, gave me props, and a hug.

This student of mine has taught me patience and empathy. But more importantly, he helped affirm my vocation to teaching. I’ve always known that this is what I was meant for. Everyday, The Lord tells me that I am one day closer to achieving what I’ve always wanted and what I know He wants for me. I know that no matter how many times I may give up on myself, God is constantly trying ten times harder to pick me up. When He sent His Son, Jesus got on our earthly level in a human form. Now, God wants us to get on His level, His heavenly level,because He truly wants us to be happy.

Father, I thank you for not only the gift of my vocation, but as well for the students you bless me to teach. Help me to inspire in them a mind that yearns to know more, a heart that does good in the world and a faith to believe in you. Amen.

Another year and stoked for More!!

Wow! The Lord is truly good! Another year of challenges, but another year of his victory. For what’s in store for us, I have no idea but,I can tell you for sure is that I’m truly stoked!

March 21st is a very special day for me, not because it’s my birthday, but it marks 10 years since I said, “sure, why not” to The Lord. Whoa! Time flies when you’re 30! Yes, I said it…..30. From a late bloomer joining the youth, into a big Boomer with SFC.

I never thought I could be here at this point. I’ve always said “maybe” or “next time”, or my favorite, “we’ll see what happens” but, once you sit back and let God take the wheel, amazing things happens!

Like I said, I’m nervous….but, with The Lord by our side, I’m so stoked!

third sorrowful mystery

The Crowning of Thorns

Every time I find myself in a more reverent posture of humility, You still continue to enlighten me and unveil to me that there’s more. Especially within this third sorrowful mystery. You showed me what true humility is. Not just by willingly or obediently receiving the crown of thorns, but by desiring the crown of thorns. By showing us to live for eternity and not for the temporary. The crown You received was one of suffering. A crown which shows that suffering leads to eternity. You have left to ponder. What crown do I desire? One of gold? Jewels? Earthly desires? Pride? How many things have I done things for myself? How many times have I served for myself? How many times have I said “yes” and have forgotten you? How many times have I have I been selfish for my  desires and not Yours? Within this life, countless times. Help me thirst for You as You did for us on the Cross. Humble my heart O God and teach me to accept suffering as my way to eternity. Blessed Mother, help me desire a crown of thorns.

Totus Tuus

He lives in you

Just came home from a mini road-trip to Seattle, hence the my lateness in posting this entry (sorry!), where I watched the Broadway Musical adaptation of The Lion King. Essentially the entire plot of the play is taken from the movie but there are some songs/scenes added for the stage version.

If you haven’t seen the musical, I suggest that you try to. It’s a very creative take on the movie, with all the costumes, sets and choreography. Also, it has all of your favourite songs from the movie! This is actually the second time seeing the musical and I enjoyed it as much as I had seen it the first time.

One of my favourite songs from the play is “He Lives in You” (There are no spoilers of the play in the clip, just the song and video footage from Lion King 2). For those that are only familiar with the movie, yes that song is from there. The song was added as part of the scene(s) when Simba is taught about the Great Kings that are in the sky by Mufasa and Rafiki .

The song, though secular in presentation, can be a reminder that the Lord is always with us though we may forget it at times. Remember that no matter how distant we may feel, the Lord is always calling us! He is calling us to be the light of the world (2nd reading today)! To be His examples of love here on earth! Let us pray that through our love, the Lord will be revealed to those that do not know Him.

“18 I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. 19 In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. 21 They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.” John 14:18-21

The Clay Pot with holes …

As I write this blog, and as I think about what has been going through my heart and mind lately, I ponder on the things God has asked and called me to do in my life.  From the little things to the bigger things, God seems to keep calling me to new heights, to new beginnings, to new journeys, calling me to serve Him continually.  There was a point actually this week when I questioned (rhetorically) … “why.”  I wonder why, in the brokenness that I seem to have, and in the weaknesses and failures I have in my life, and in the things I am going through, I ask “why would God keep asking me to do things for Him, thinking to myself, but I’m so bad, I’m this and I’m that” …. of course there is something in me that convicts me to serve the Lord, and that wants to, but there is also something that makes me see how unworthy I am in being asked to do something for God.  I mean, who am I really … but a big sinner.  Yet He keeps asking and leads me to Himself.  In this I see the Love of God.  That in my weaknesses and brokenness, He continues to shower His love and His blessings and His Grace in my life, that He continues to call me, a broken and imperfect sinner (one of the worst to be honest, lots of things I need to work on in my life seriously), closer to Himself.  Despite my stubbornness and disobediences and sins, He doesn’t give up and does not let me go.  It’s like He is running after me.  This actually reminds me and urges me to share about the story of the broken clay pot … it’s too long to include in this blog, but if you can, I would ask you to Google it and you can read it there.  It’s basically about two clay pots which were used to bring water.  One of them was cracked, and so the water would drip out as the pots were being carried.  The cracked clay pot would feel ashamed and apologetic for losing all the water through this flaw that it had.  Little did that pot know that the water that was dripping ended up watering the seeds which the “water bearer” planted and it sprouted flowers!  The water bearer knew about the clay pots “cracks” and flaws, and took full advantage of it.  This is how I see God work in people’s lives.  Reminds me of Paul’s encounter with the thorn on his side, when God told him that His power is made perfect in weakness.  And so this then allows me to ponder on how God truly uses the humble in heart.  And so I pray and ask the Lord, to get rid of my foolish pride, and to make me humble, not with a false sense of humility, but with true and real humility, that comes from Him alone.  So I ask for everyone’s prayers as I take these steps with you in this journey of faith.

May God be praised.