True North Missionaries Journal

Did you ever hear the expression that “we are fighting the good fight!”? I have always been intrigued by this concept. To follow Jesus we take up our cross and fight against the world. It’s very romantic if you think about it, that you’re a warrior fighting for the greatest Love the world has ever known. There are many kinds of warriors who have different reasons for fighting. This past week the Lord reminded me of what kind of warrior He has called me to be.

I watched Captain America: Winter Soldier this past Friday with some brothers. I enjoyed the movie because of all the fast paced action scenes where Captain America would send bad guys flying with kicks and punches. I was thinking to myself “wow! Captain America is such a great fighter! If only I could make someone fly that far with a kick!” Although I wish that I could fight like captain America, the one thing about him that I admire more is his ability to deliver a motivational speech. Captain America gave such a speech before a deciding battle where he said:

“The price of freedom is high. But it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

The movie ended but that line stuck with me. I was thinking “man Captain America is so cool!!”

That night I went to church with brothers from my household. There was Stations of the Cross before the mass started. As the priest was going through the stations I realized something. That a price was paid for the freedom we are experiencing at this very moment. The price for our freedom is the body and blood of Jesus himself. There was no greater price to pay and He paid it in full by willingly entering into his passion. I also realized that Jesus is the greatest warrior ever! Yes more of a warrior than Captain America.

Jesus is a fighter like no other who won an impossible battle by committing the greatest act of sacrifice the world has ever seen. He fought for every single one of us in a way that He wants us to fight for Him. To carry our cross and struggle towards oneness with Him. To sacrifice what is of this world so that we and others can be made holy.

In this battle we will be persecuted just like Jesus was, we will fall at times but like Him we must get up a push forward, and like Him we must endure and persevere in order to claim true freedom on the cross.

What does it mean to be a warrior of Christ? Let’s take a samurai for example. In the same context that a samurai adopts the Way of the Sword, we as followers of Christ adopt the Way of the Cross. Just as a samurai carries his sword at all times, we carry our cross so that we can bring Christ with us wherever we go. The cross we carry is our mark as a warrior just as a sword is to a samurai.

As Christians we acknowledge that the price of freedom is high because we are sinners, but we also recognize that it is a price we are willing to pay.

Don’t get me wrong…. I still wish I could fight like Captain America, but I want to be able to carry my cross like Jesus did much more.

Lord, thank you for showing me how to fight for you. Thank you for being the strength to carry my cross with. Please be with me as I continue in a battle which I would have already lost without you. Allow me to carry my Cross to wherever you wish me to bring it. Amen. 

“First World problems” is a phrase that’s been used many times, more commonly as a “hash-tag.” It describes (and I had to look it up)  “what we in a country of privilege see as challenges that pale in comparison to the serious, life-threatening problems of people in other countries.”  So what are some examples of “First World problems”?

• Your computer crashes  and you lose all your documents and “selfie” pictures.
• You forget your cell phone at home.
• The Starbucks barista spelled your name wrong on your coffee cup.

And the list goes on and on. Don’t get me wrong, some of these problems can be challenging, but they aren’t on the scale of living a life of poverty or surviving in a country stricken by war.

Jesus was never concerned about worldly problems. Why? Cause He was not of this world. He was simply sent by the Father so that we may live. Our “first world problems” are related to the “first life” we are living, which are all earthly issues.  Jesus lived His “first life” here on earth so that we all may have a “second life” in heaven, the life of resurrection.

The thought of a “second life” makes us ask questions, which is totally normal.

• What will it be like?
• Who will be there?
• How will it compare to life here on earth?

We’ve all tried to imagine, with our limited minds, what life after death will be like, but resurrected life is far beyond our ability to comprehend while we are still here living our “first life”.  We are called to trust in our covenant relationship with God, a relationship that goes beyond “first world problems” , “first life problems”, even death. Jesus reminds us that “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living”.

As we draw closer to Holy Week, may we be reminded when Jesus carried all the problems of the world on His back, nailed it to the cross, and destroyed it on the Easter Sunday.

Let the problems of our “first life” be a reminder of our “no problems” we will experience in our “second life”.

If there is one thing we do know about the “second life”  it is that we will all be alive with God. And believe me, nothing can be better than that.

Amen!

 

     Being a young missionary, you would think that there’s only so much I can handle. And… you’re probably right! I’m 20 years old, going to school full time, working on-call, serving for the CFCY GTA full time and now, here I am, as a CFC-Youth MV. Oh, let’s not forget about devoting some time to my family and friends. I’m not finished school until 2015 and right now I’m working to not only to provide for myself – but my family as well, so how on earth am I really managing all these aspects in my life?

      Recently it’s becoming difficult in having to pick and choose between where I would go every weekend. Family party or service/event in CFC-Youth? And somehow, I stick to either a Kids for Christ event or CFC Youth event. My friends and CC’s in CFC-Youth are ecstatic at how active I’m becoming again here in the community… My family members on the other hand, are not impressed with how less time I’ve been spending with them lately. Besides my parents, my other relatives have very different values about their view on life and growing up. No matter how many times I’ll try to explain the livelihood of CFC-Youth, they still won’t understand the choices I make. For example, spending a lot of time serving, going to CFC-Youth events, not going out and partying with friends or the “oh, where is your boyfriend?! How come you don’t have one?”

Lately, my values and morals have shifted quite drastically and geared more so towards the Lord and what He intends for me. So yes, I do understand where they’re coming from, a year or two ago having that significant other was SO important to me, I never wanted to be alone and I wanted that feeling of being with someone. But now, I wish they understood that it’s not that I’m not “looking”, but I truly believe that God’s time is the right time.

     Serving the Lord full time has definitely opened my eyes. I’ve become so occupied with several different things; He wants me to be with Him. To focus on Him and what He has planned for me. In the past I’ve always tried to occupy myself with partying, going out, being in a relationship and it’s caused me to turn away from Him and I’ve noticed that it is not a part of His plan for me to be doing these.

Then I learned the gift of obedience.

“Through him and for his name’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith.” (Romans 1:5).

     I learned that by obeying His words and proclaiming it, we’re learning to exercise the obedience of faith. I’ve turned away from those temptations and serving Him helps me remain steadfast and faithful. Alongside serving, going to school to fulfill not only my dreams but to be able to provide for my family. These current aspects in my life are what continues me to be so driven with the Lord and His love.

     His constant reminder that His plans are far more greater than what I have planned for myself.

The title for this post is actually borrowed from my girlfriend. It’s one of her favourite hashtags that she uses to remind her that no matter how crazy life is, the Lord is greater and each blessing is a reminder of that. So this week has been filled with many blessings that I just wanted to share some bigger ones with you:

– Getting the week of Conference off from work after it was initially denied
– New projects to do at work
– The Skytrain being delayed so I could go to Confession

I originally thought I could fit and detail specifics for each of the blessings that I listed above but my thoughts were so limitless that I knew that I would just go on and on and on without ceasing. That I would run out of words for my praise and thanks for the Lord’s  graces just as they are so abundant and never ending.

Ever since I’ve become a(n) MV, it’s been pretty busy. Yet,  I’ve been more aware of the blessings that the Lord has given me both big and small. Blessings that come whether I ask for it or not. Blessings that seem hidden that they are actually in plain sight. Blessings that occur when we need it the most.

Lord, thank You for my life, for the miracle of waking up everyday. I am a sinner but yet you still continue to pour Your blessings upon me. You fill my cup with more that I could ever ask for. Father, no words can truly express how thankful I am. I love You and I pray that You continue to use me as Your instrument here on Earth. That my service be my way of glorifying You, praising You, thanking You. Amen.

God comes first…

…it’s so easy to say, but so hard to do. I can attest to that in my experiences these past two weeks.

I am a workoholic. Once I get started on something or put my mind to something, I don’t stop. Because I’m a workoholic, I do my best to go above and beyond in my deliverance, whether it be in family stuff, work, or service. Sometimes, time does not allow me to work as hard as I would like to on some things. There are times when everything I have on my plate is “high priority”.

Lately, I’ve been working OT every day at work, attending meetings for SFC, leading one of the CLPs in my chapter, and planning and leading my households. I haven’t had much time to devote to my family and my GG.  My mom told me the other day, “You haven’t been home. You rarely eat with us. Anak, I know you’re serving the Lord and you are doing good things, but you need to make time for your family. One mass I went to recently, the priest said, ‘Service to the Lord starts in the family. Above all your plans, time with your family is most important.’ So Anak, please make time for us.”

Today, I had a random one-on-one with a Tita in the community and we were sharing our struggles with service and balancing our time. Then, she reminded me that God needs to be present in every aspect of  lives, which includes work. I realized I really had to praise God for being with me, and Mary too, cuz during times I felt like I was going to crash, I would pray a Hail Mary.

Thank you, Lord for the grace to pull through, for being present in all aspects of my life, and filling me with Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

There is no escaping Big Life Questions even while being a missionary.  (Who am I? Where am I being led? Lord, are you in control?).  It was in an impromptu kitchen table discussion with some coordinators after Mass that He confirmed a message and posture that could help me be as calm as a cucumber and happy in the Mission:

I may not know, but God does.  

I’ve come to understand that to experience the strengthening of the Lord from the inside out, one must be complete free and empty…of oneself.  There are far too many thoughts, emotions and judgments circulating within; our human psyche is impulsive and messy.  It downsizes plans, “things of heaven” to rational thought, affects our impression of people and of self, when if fact…”His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Though very much beloved by the Lord…He is God and I am not.

RYC season this month has led me to the realization that I cannot do God’s will without grace: I need to heed the impulse, follow the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and further, to surrender to His leading.  I cannot lead myself to His will, because I am naturally always acting on my own accord #overthinker.  What I need is not Knowledge on how to control and manage my life, but more TRUST and more SURRENDER to Hope in the plans that the Lord has for me…and this should be enough.

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.” -Victor Hugo