True North Missionaries Journal

Open Mind, Faithful Heart.

I was reading reviews of Pope Francis’ book called, “Open Mind, Faithful Heart: Reflections On Following Jesus” and this one review stood out to me the most:

“Reading Open Mind, Faithful Heart has helped me understand why the cardinals chose this man as our spiritual father. His faith is deep, heart-felt, and generous. He doesn’t water down any of the doctrines of the Church, but uses them as the ground upon which he stands, while reaching out to a world which has learned to view those doctrines through a jaundice lens, and trying to draw them closer to the person of Jesus—which is, after all, the point of the Church as an institution. Highly recommended!”

Wow! I am always so thankful and amazed at how much of a gift Pope Francis is. I admire so many things about him, most especially when the reviewer pointed out that his faith is “deep, heartfelt and generous.” Oh man. What an inspiration. Sometimes when I try to grow more in faith I get restless and overwhelmed with regards to how I’m supposed to “be.” Finding that balance between being firm and gentle is a daily battle – should I be heartless about a situation to get my point across? Or should I always be gentle and caring, most of which is what I’m most comfortable with, and what is also expected of me at work.

Most of the time I don’t know what to do. But I trust that as long as it points others to Christ, though difficult, it is always the right thing. And I hope that even in the most uneventful, sometimes discouraging daily grind of life, I can be lead to a faith that is deep, heartfelt and generous.

NTS: Open Mind, Faithful Heart.

🙂

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!

when God is talking to you?

I am sure that this is a question many people ask themselves and others who pray. I remember at my first camp, there was a person sharing about how “God talks to them”.

I remember thinking that these people were crazy. How could one just say this without any proof.  This was at a time where I did not understand the concept of prayer. Prayer to me at the time was just saying words that I have been taught to say when I am around others who are praying. I guess you could say I was never really taught how to pray, or talk with God.

When I was introduced to prayer as a conversation with God, that’s when my prayer life started to change. When I started praying to God as a friend, that is when I started to see God more.

I guess you could say that my prayer life started to evolve. And that’s when I realized that God has been talking to me ever since I was a child. He would speak to me through my family and my friends. He would speak to me through the relationship I have with my brother when we were younger. He would speak to me through the television shows that I watched back in the day. As a teenager, God would speak to me through my teachers and friends at school.

As I got older I realized that God speaks to me the most through the bible and other spiritual readings, by praying the lectio divina I can see that God can speak to me, even if He just wanted me to see one word. How amazing is our God that he just needs one word to communicate with me.

Ever since I started to pray more faithfully, that’s when I knew God is always around me.

Some may say that praying is for crazy people, but when you truly understand prayer and what it can do, you will see that prayer is the most beautiful thing that you can do.

Amen.

… no not Camp Crushes…

Today I had a 2-on-1 with the new West Chapter Heads and Couple Coordinators of SFC Vancouver. Now they aren’t exactly strangers to me since I’ve seen them throughout my time with the community. I am now privileged to have been able to serve with the entire family, in the past serving as a chapter head with both their daughters as my counterparts at different times and now I am privileged enough to be able to serve with them in the mission.

I could tell that in our 2-on-1 there was a lot of mixed feelings, both of apprehension and excitement, in taking on their new role in serving alongside a bunch of young adults, most of whom they have seen grow up in the community. As they were driving me home, Tita asked me if I like bubbletea (it’s a very Vancouver thing, y’all should do it up here when you come to #TNC2014). I told her of course I did. She then proceeded to talk about how her two daughters would always be out for bubbletea after an event late at night and that she did not understand why it was such a thing for YFC and SFC people. I told her that after a meeting one day we should go for bubbletea since we are friends now and Tita and Tito got super excited at hearing that prospect.

I love my couple coordinators. I’ve loved every single pair that was assigned to serve alongside me (and all those I’d encounter in my service) in all my years with the community – the Alcantaras, the Siys, the Saunars, the Cortez’s, the Ramirez’s, the Ruiz’s, the Madayag’s, and now the Rigors.  From all the 2-on-1s, loving correction, events, and service meetings, I do my best to acknowledge and thank them for their time, talent, and treasure (and food) that they invest in the ministry.

So if you are reading this, I encourage you to take some time and tell your CCs, whether it be the next time you see them or through a text message, how much you love them and respect them and are thankful for them for all that they do. No amount of short comings, mistakes, or negativity should get in the way of that.

In one if my classes, three major papers that were written were all group work papers. Today was our final class and my previous group had a chance to look at our last paper. On the title page, I saw that my name was circled. After my entire group had a turn to look over the paper and it’s corrections, I took it last and read through all the sections of my part to see where I went wrong. Besides the little citation issues and wording, my section was okay. So what did I do wrong?!

There’s something about me that when I feel something is out of place, I start getting nervous. So I stayed until the end of class to speak with my prof. I asked her “Miss, why is my name circled? Is everything okay?” And she looked at the paper, then back at me, unsure of why exactly she circled it. “Oh! I remember! Your name is circled because in your groups peer reviews, your name stood out in all of them in who helped out the most” I’m like “Oh… *blush*” Then she goes “Fatima did you realize your name was mentioned in all three group papers?” I told her I didn’t know .. And she said “But I’ve noticed in this paper, your individual mark suffered a little” which I agreed on. And she said “It’s okay to help out, but sometimes you need to be greedy too” I wasn’t sure where she was going but she continued “I mean, with your grades. It’s great to know that you’re very helpful but you need to focus on yourself too. It’s not a bad thing”

I was one to not necessarily put others before myself, but I am one to always offer help where needed. When she said that it’s okay to be greedy, in my head I said “No, it’s not..”

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God. – Hebrew 13:16

Doing this mild gesture of simple acts of kindness, not just through papers but everywhere else is just a little piece of what I can give back to The Lord. Jesus helped just about anyone and everyone that he’s ever passed during his journey or whoever reached out to him and yet, he still remained humble. We continue to give with no expectation of receiving something because it shows that we are in a right state of heart and that it accords with the Lord’s nature. He continuously gives with no expectation but to remain faithful to Him.

“Give me, O Lord, a steadfast heart which no unworthy thought can drag downwards; an unconquered heart which no tribulation can wear out; an urpright heart which no unworthy purpose may tempt aside. Bestow upon me also, O Lord my God, understanding to know you, diligence to seek you, wisdom to find you and faithfulness that may finally embrace you; through Jesus Christ, our Lord.”

Amen.

The Light of Christ is so bright, radiant, and unyielding.

It’s been some time since I joined community and turned my eyes towards the Light of Christ. I have grown in my faith and changed in ways I would never have thought possible. But if there’s anything that I have realized more than anything after all this time is that I’m a sinner.

The Light allows the shadows of the soul to be seen, the sins that thrive in the darkness.

This past Palm Sunday I was reminded again that I am a sinner, but this time it was in a way I have never experienced before. The priest talked about how the crucifixion came to be; how Jesus was rejected, betrayed, and abandoned to the mercy of sinners. I cannot even comprehend what the Lord must have experienced not only physically but also emotionally.

At the middle of the homily I realized that that in His Light I could see in me;

the shadow of Pilate who allowed His persecution to please others,

the shadow of Peter who rejected Him in order to save face,

the shadow of Thomas who doubted because he did not believe in Him,

and the shadow of Judas who betrayed Him in exchange for temporary pleasures.

After realizing this I knelt down and prayed, asking the Lord for His forgiveness. There was only one response and it was unexplainable peace.

This peace affirmed me that the Lord loves me despite all the sins that I have committed and that I need Him more now than ever before.

I remember a passing conversation I had with kuya Kevin after one service meeting.

Kevin: bro are you going home now?

Me: no

Kevin: why?

Me: because I’m going to Church

Kevin: why?

Me: because I have to go to confession and mass

Kevin: why?

Me:…..well…BECAUSE I’M A SINNER GUY! (seriously what does this guy want me to say LOL)

*then we both laugh like maniacs*

So much love for that brother for always putting me out of my comfort zone.

The Lord has changed me so much that I can no longer recognize myself when I look at the mirror but I have realized that there is still a VERY long way to go. I am affirmed every day that I will only grow more dependent on the Lord as I continue my personal road to holiness.

As I journey in His Light I am always reminded that God is Love and there is no sin greater than Him.

Lord I need you, every second I need you. Allow me to always walk in your Light, to love others like you Love me. Amen.