My Safe Refuge

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I always had a clear picture of my dream house – floor to ceiling windows, beige and white décor, a nice backyard, flowers in the front garden, and a beautiful red door. For the longest time I felt like I was on the right track towards this ideal dream – finished my program at 20, got my dream job at the hospital, travelled, spent time building beautiful and meaningful friendships, service with the youth was going well, family doing well, etc. I felt happy – I felt like I had it all. And the Lord was there through all of it; no doubt He is the source of the joy I felt when these dreams were coming to life.

And then one day He decided to tell me, “I have something better for you.” And just like that -I felt like I was back to square one with my “life plan.” What’s going to happen to my dream of building my dream house? How can You possibly plan something better than what I already had in mind?

But He does. He always has the best for those whom He loves so much. And in this case, it wasn’t that He didn’t want me to have my dream house – He wanted me to realize He is my dream home. He is my heart’s desire. That when I wake up in the morning He is the first to possess all my thoughts, words, and my whole being; and when I go to bed at night, loving Him will be the first thing I look forward to in the morning. I don’t have to worry about creating my dream house, when being in heaven is the ultimate home. And that is enough. God is enough 🙂

One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.

Psalm 27:4