Mother-daughter relationship <3

I’ve known about Mama Mary for quite some time now.  See I went to a catholic school from K-12 and then have been a part of this community for about half my life. But my knowledge, love and appreciation for her hasn’t always been on the up and up…

• In elementary: When I was really young I used to think she was so cool because her crown was made of stars, not to mention that she was always depicted wearing one of my favorite colors!
• In junior high: I started to notice more about her physical features.  I noticed her fair features, her simple smile, and her constantly open arms.  She always looked so peaceful and I remember wondering if it was humanly possible to be that at peace!?
• In high school: I was very fixated in finding out about my relationship with Christ, that I focused only on that, paying very little attention to her.
• In university: I started to really get to know her… but I felt as though hearing her out meant that I had to do something that I didn’t want to do, let alone think I was ever ready to do.  So I ran away from her, seeking my own way.
• In my career: Through prayer and growing in my relationship with Christ, I felt more and more drawn to her.  I was more willing to get to know her, more willing to grow in love and appreciation for her.

As you can see, we haven’t had the best mother-daughter relationship, but it certainly has come a long way from where it used to be.  It went from admiration, to curiosity, to absence, to refusal, to acceptance, to now.  And what is it now do you ask?

It’s all of the above!  I admire Mama Mary for her obedience and complete trust in our Lord.  I can’t even begin to think about how I would react if I was told that I would give birth to the redeemer of the world; and she handled it with such grace, strength and surrender. I’m so curious about her.  I want to learn about her, her family, her role.  I want to understand what the bible tells of her, I want to understand her love for us; her love for me.  I am absent from and refuse what the ‘world’ thinks of my devotion to her.  Deep reverence and devotion to our Mother does not mean that I am becoming a Sister, it simply means I see the importance of knowing my heavenly mother now.  Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a Sister, in fact I believe it is one of the most beautiful vocations, but I choose to not equate my relationship with Mama Mary as a means to an end, this is just the beginning!  I accept her for all that she is and all that she wants to do for me; for us.

It’s quite funny, and not at the same time, how I treated Mama Mary as I was growing up, because that was essentially my relationship with my actual mother.  At a young age I thought my mom to be like a superhero.  As I grew up, I started to notice her more; how she reacted, what she liked, how she carried herself.  The older I got the more consumed with my own life I became, paying little attention to her. And when there came the time when she would share her views or opinions or attempt to point to a certain direction, I sought my own way.  Now that I’m older, I have more of an appreciation and love for my mom and all she’s done and all she continues to do for me and our family.

I’m sorry Mom for not having the best relationship.  I’ve really come to love you and appreciate you in a way I don’t think I could have without first going through everything we did.  I love you! Please forgive me.

I’m sorry Mama Mary for not having the best relationship.  I’ve really come to love you and appreciate you in a way I don’t think I could have without first going through everything we did.  I love you!  Please forgive me.