Tears were wanting to come out while I was listening to one of the sharing during a young adult ministry event. I thought I had let go of the pain. I thought I would not care anymore. But I knew deep within me I was crying. A part of me was sympathizing on what the sharer went through but mostly was me hurting and silently responding to the sharer’s question, saying: “I can. I could have. I will and am still willing to accept, love and fight.”
I bravely hold my tears, calmly persevered and listened, humbly swallowed my pride and set aside my selfish intentions.
Then came the very presence of our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament: the Lord in His humblest form of an unleavened bread yet radiantly shining in His heavenly glory.
There came the Lord saying: “My son, I know how you feel. I am here, I have always been here. Say it all to me and I will listen. Bring unto me your darkness and I will shed you light. Offer me your heartache and I will give you comfort. Surrender your brokenness and I will restore you. Rejoice in your weakness, for through them I have made you strong. Hold on my Son. Have faith. I love you.”
I knew in that very moment that no one could understand me except the Lord.
In that moment I surrendered. I knelt before His presence and cried my most honest cry. I was like a child who ran to his father to be consoled. I let go of my tears. I offered to the Lord all the hurts. I asked for forgiveness. I thanked Him for all the blessings He has given me. I thanked Him for the struggles and challenges too. Then I set my eyes on Him. I basked in His presence.
His light outshined the darkness I was in. I felt His embrace. There is peace.
There were things I wished could have happened the way I wanted them to be. But the very presence of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament has enlightened me that His ways are better than my ways. He has the best plan for me, for all of us. The Blessed Sacrament has reminded me of God’s faithfulness. After all, He never left us. He is ever-present with us through the Most Blessed Sacrament. In fact, He has always been waiting for us.
That aspect of my life I am letting go and surrendering to the Lord along with the other important things I value and hold on to. For I know the Lord has already taken care of everything for me.
“O salutaris Hostia,
Quae caeli pandis ostium:
Bella premunt hostilia,
Da robur, fer auxilium.
Uni trinoque Domino
Sit sempiterna gloria,
Qui vitam sine termino
Nobis donet in patria.”
Amen.
