The past week I was blessed enough to be part of a mission trip to Montreal.
Kuya Kevin asked me if I could help with the ShouT that was to be conducted there.
This was the third ShouT that I have been to in the past few weeks having attended the MV ShouT and the GTA area ShouT. I was asking the Lord what else he could possibly want to reveal to me in this ShouT that he didn’t reveal to me in the past two.
We arrived in Montreal and instantly my blood started rushing and I got excited. It was as if my soul felt the Lords presence, as if He was there to greet me. I knew from that moment that He had an important message to tell me.
Something different about this ShouT was that it was in a rectory and circumstances led us to pray more than what I am used to even for a ShouT. We had our morning prayers, three worships, a rosary, and the evening compline each day. In a way we were allowed to “abuse” our time with the Lord by making full use of our prayer time. We were allowed to focus on Him and dedicate that time to Him. I even spent some time at the church in front of the tabernacle since it was connected to the rectory. It was truly a different experience fitting for the heart of Catholicism in North America.
In the times of prayer the Lord spoke to me in a way that brought me back to my own heart of worship. In a way the Lord wanted me to go back to basics since my mind has been so engrossed with much deeper and complicated reflections. I have read so many so many books about our faith and immersed myself asking deeper questions to the point that I’ve forgotten how simple and beautiful a Love the Lord has transformed me with.
My reflection led me to the simple fact that I am crazy. I am crazy for the Lord, but I wasn’t crazy first. The Lord was crazy first because He Loved me first. He Loved me despite of my imperfections and my sin. He Loved me despite my unwillingness to love Him back.
How the Lord Loved me first is nothing short of a crazy Love because no one in their right mind would Love someone like me so deeply. The Love that the Lord has allowed me to experience reminds me of his message to Mother Theresa, “I Thirst”. He desires me and thirsts for me despite every reason not to. Truly a crazy Love. I look back and realize that I’m crazy because when I experienced God’s Love I told myself that I want to be crazy like that. I want to Love like that, I want it more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.
The Lords Love is so crazy that it allows me to rise beyond my own unwillingness to live more fully, it allows me to praise and worship Him with all that I am in every opportunity that I get to.
The Lords Love is so crazy that I end up in Montreal trying to pray the rosary in French when I don’t even know French. (A very humbling experience I assure you, I am so sorry Mama please forgive me LOL)
The Lords Love is so crazy that it allows me to love others greater in simply responding to his love for me.
I had to leave the ShouT early because my family wanted to celebrate father’s day on the Saturday. I said my goodbyes and took the megabus early on Saturday to make my family father’s day dinner. I went to morning mass on Sunday and the priest said something in his homily that truly struck me. He said that if we keep giving our money we will eventually run out of money, if we keep giving our time we will eventually run out of time, but if we keep giving our Love we will never run out of it. Love is the only thing in this universe that we will only gain more of the more that we give it away. This is because the Love of God is overflowing and we are all connected to Him.
The Lord is really calling me as a missionary to go forth with His crazy and overflowing Love in my heart. The Love that has made to who I am today and continues to transform me every second of my life.
I am thankful for what I experienced in Montreal and I hope to be blessed with the privilege to go there again. As I end this little story of my spiritual adventure in Montreal a prayer from St Augustine of Hippo rings in my mind to remind me of how profoundly the Lord has touched my life:
Late have I loved you,
O Beauty so ancient and so new,
late have I loved you!
You were within me, but I was outside,
and it was there that I searched for you.
In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
Created things kept me from you;
yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.
You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.
You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.
You breathed your fragrance on me;
I drew in breath and now I pant for you.
I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.
You touched me, and I burned for your peace.
Truly late have I Loved you Lord.
Amen.
