This past weekend I attended the Steubenville conference here in Toronto. I have been wanting to go to a Steubenville for many years now but there was always something that hindered me from attending.
However one day at work, my boss asked if I was available to come help and be a chaperone for the teens from the parish.After a few days reflecting and asking my family and friends for some guidance on the matter, I said no.
With the previous month being so busy I felt like this was the right thing to do so I could take some time to rest. In all honestly for the past month I have been feeling physically, emotionally and mentally tired. In all the events that happened, I tried my best to give 110% of myself each time but I was not taking the best care of myself in the process. This ended up affecting my prayer life and feelings of frustration started to build up within me. Instead of asking others for help and seeking God’s grace to help strengthen me through this hectic month, I started to rely solely on myself for things to get better. Of course, this did not end well.
So I did what I thought was right; I said no as a means to avoid what I was I going through all together. As soon as I bore the “bad” news to my boss the following day, I felt really unsettled. My “no” ended up turning into me asking my boss for another day to discern about my decision.
What was different about this time around was that I actually took the time to listen to God’s voice than just listening to mine. I went to adoration and asked God for an open heart and the ability to understand where my feelings of unsettlingness came from.
As I sat in front of the blessed sacrament I heard a whisper speaking to my heart saying: “Do not be afraid. Trust in Me. There is so much to be revealed to You.”Ironically enough the theme of the Steubenville conference was titled ‘Revealed.’
I sat quietly in the chapel, pondering on the words “do not be afraid…there is so much to be revealed” I took this as God kindly asking me to take the leap of faith and to say “yes” to Him with a heart full of excitement. The following day I spoke to my boss and told him my real answer.
A few days later, as I write this post I laugh at how stubborn I was and smile because of how AMAZING the conference ended up being. Last weekend was one of the most fruitful and inspiring moments of my life. All my doubts of going to the conference was instantly wiped away after I witnessed 2000+ youth smiling and worshipping God with so much love and joy.
Thank You Jesus for last weekend and for pushing me to go!
Amen.
Danielle Lape