In December, I was able to go to Quebec City and pass through the Holy Doors at Notre Dame Cathedral. I went with friends that I hold close to my heart and it was liberating to be able to go on a road trip with them. I was at peace with knowing that my faith journey with these God-fearing people was not bound by service in the community, but by God who placed them in my life.
At the time, we had no idea what the Holy Doors really were. Most of us knew the basics; 1) they would close soon and 2) passing through the doors equaled to a plenary indulgence. We arrived after a 14 hr drive and stood in line. We read up on the Holy Doors together while in that line (yes, I know. Shame on us for not being prepared).
Once I entered the Cathedral, I was struck by Jesus’ presence. As soon as you entered, there was Jesus, exposed. Going deeper into the Cathedral, there were throngs of people admiring the beauty of the Cathedral, lining up for confession, and praying.
Jesus was right here. Therefore, so were His people.
So, I went and lined up for confession (not the English one, because it was too long). There were 2 kids in front of me in the line. They were both playing on their Nintendo DS’s while waiting and they were arguing with each other. I was overwhelmed by the noise. So I politely asked them if I could have some quiet time so I could pray and they both kindly agreed. Then 5 seconds later, their mother showed up and budded me in the line by loudly saying “Excuse, I’m their mother.”
To be honest, I was surprised that she did so, but I told myself, “It’s okay. Just let her be with her kids.”
Then, the mother continued to chatter with her kids and was trying her best to coach her kids to make a confession. On my part, I was struggling to find a point of stillness while trying to prepare myself for confession. It got to a point where I was really frustrated and could only tell myself, “It’s okay. Just be patient. Just wait. Just love them.”
I couldn’t help but observe how confession and sin was explained by the mother to each of her kids. It was endearing to see how the kids processed the mother’s explanations and how they viewed the confessional.
At the same time, I realized that there is such a deep need for parents to know and understand our Catholic faith. If parents only have a basic understanding of our Church’s teachings and traditions, then their children will also struggle to learn about our faith. Schools and religion class can only do so much. Parents really are the first teachers that any child has.
Currently, I am actively discerning for my vocation. Whether this discernment leads to religious life or marriage, there is a deep and urgent need for God to conquer my mind. Wherever I am led, I need to know God in mind, heart, soul, and body. To be honest, the more that I encounter God, the more I realize that He has only scratched the surface of my hard and stubborn exterior.
I am called to surrender more and let God’s love sink into my entire being – mind, heart, soul, and body.