Lately, I have been listening to the song “Christ is Enough” by HIllsong Live. The message of the song is just so beautiful, especially in what I have experienced and what I am experiencing right now.
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back
No turning back
It’s been about 3 months and 20 days since I joined (handing in my essay, etc.) the MV program. I would say that on February 10, 2014 at around 12:10 am, I decided to follow Him. Since then, my life has been so different. There were so many things that I did not expect to happen, things that I do not want to happen, things that I hoped to happen but did not, and things that happened which I hoped to happen. My schedule got more hectic. I had more responsibilities. In fact, there were so many times already when I asked myself why I am even in this program. And the answer? I don’t know. All I know is that I want to keep pursuing Him. Yes sometimes I question myself, but at the end of the day, no matter how much I do ask these questions, He still affirms me of the calling, no matter how big or small the affirmation is. One thing I realized is that when I doubt myself, it means I am putting my trust on my own strength and capabilities, because if I trust Him, I can never have doubts. But no matter how much I doubt, He is always there to affirm me. Praise God for all of these because this keeps me going, knowing that at the centre of all of these is Him, who provides me love, joy, and strength. To be honest, I have never been happier than this before. Yes, it is tiring sometimes, but it is funny because once you said yes, you can never stop; you can never turn back; you just want to keep going, to keep pursuing Him.
The cross before me
The world behind me
No turning back
No turning back
Often times, when you ask people what’s the first thing that they associate with the cross, they say pain and suffering, but in reality it is sacrifice and love. The cross symbolizes God’s love and the beauty of sacrifice. He is calling each and every single one of us to embrace the cross before us, leaving the world behind us, sacrificing everything to show to the world God’s love. This is what it means to follow Him; it is to leave everything behind, including ourselves. We need to give everything up so He can fill us. How can we be filled with His love and grace when we are full of all our earthly desires? Jesus gave everything up for God’s love to be shared to the world. I believe this is what He is calling us to, to embrace our crosses; not to suffer in pain, but to suffer out of love. Let us embrace our crosses and be the symbol of God’s love to the world.
Christ is enough for me
Christ is enough for me
Everything I need is in You
Everything I need
Is Christ really enough for us? We often say this, but do we really mean it? In our society today, I know it is hard for us to fully say this without the “ifs and buts.” What does it mean to fully surrender ourselves to Him, to fully trust that He is all that we need? When we say we are giving up everything, do we really mean everything? Since I joined this program, I feel like I have been continuously tested on trusting in Him and being able to give up everything in Him. There were so many times already when I feel like I have given everything but He is asking for more, He wanted me to give more; literally to give everything that I have. It is very hard. I feel like sometimes I can’t even do it, but when I get to give up everything, He gives me everything too; in fact, more than everything. I am reminded of a story about Jesus and a little kid holding a small teddy bear. Jesus was asking the kid to give Him the little teddy bear. The kid without knowing that behind Jesus was a bigger teddy bear, refused to do so. This is what we often not see, that if we give up everything to Him, He will show His greater plans for us. All we have to do is to give our all, until nothing’s left of us, so He can fill us and reveal to us His plans.
Lord, please help me to fully surrender everything to You. Allow me to have the courage to follow you, carrying and embracing my cross and leaving the world behind. You are all I want and You are all I need. If I am face with doubts, allow me to put my trust in You for I can never doubt you. Let Your will be done. Amen.