I’m pretty scared. Pretty nervous. My stomach and head are racing as time draws near…So why? BUT first…
“Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” -James 1:12
When I was a teenager, I always wanting to pursue the career of a chef. Honestly, it took me forever to get to where I am today in terms of a career. Well, here I am today…in the Culinary world. On Tuesday, I will be going to Qatar to be of assistance of opening a restaurant.
That’s pretty big. Big for my career, my family etc etc. I’m pretty good at keeping my composure when it comes to how I feel about this upcoming opportunity…but honestly…
I’m pretty scared. I have to let my skills and my food do the talking. I’ve never felt so pressured in my life to perform in front of important people as to what I can do as a person with passion for food. I often think in my head what could happen if this happens or what should I do if this happens…and yeah, my worries, and my uneasiness I guess got to the way I was living the last few weeks.
This is pretty personal, so apologies if it gets long.
I was seeking the support of others. Sorry, let me re-type that. I was fully relying on the support of people I knew I can rely on. More than God. I was fully looking for someone or people to just reach out and just simply be there. More than I looked to God. It hurt just to think about it. To think about traveling and being responsible alone. Made me even more scared when God didn’t let any of my desires happen.
BUT….
I guess that’s why God really let me have this time alone in the last month. Not just to develop that thick independent skin, but to have a dependency on HIM. To also remind myself that the things I deny myself from, especially the desires and good things, more and more blessings will come from aligning myself with Him in this way.
Then I think about the possible career ahead after all this…or what else I am today other than a cook/chef whatever…I am a missionary. A missionary who desires to go onto the roads less traveled. So maybe there is more to why God is letting me have all this time alone…not just prepping me for the current now…but preparing me for what is to come later on. I feel God is telling me to not just live in the moment, but to grasp every blessing and lesson learned for the moments where I will need it later on.
This is a journey of career meets Christ. I think I’m getting close in aligning the two together.
Lord, I know there are things you want me to set at Your feet. I’m denying myself as much as I can in order to hear Your footnote. Allow me to be vigilant in the journey ahead and take that for the journeys to come. I’m so scared. You know that. Allow me to not only find rest in Your embrace, but to fully rely on You. Prepare my heart Lord. These times of trial are reminders that this is just the time where Your hands are molding me to the finest detail. LORD I SURRENDER. My plans, my desires, my everything. You are the one that knows me most. You are the one that gives me hope. You are the one that I live for. I love You.
Amen.
Praise the Lord
So excited for you, Vince! The Lord has wonderful plans for you to discover on this new journey 🙂 Thank you for showing me what a beautiful missionary heart looks like. God bless you!
If there’s anything I’ve learned this year, it’s that our God is a personal and intimate God. He answers our prayers by using that which is already in our hearts. There are no desires that we have that have not already passed through Christ.
God Bless Vince! I will keep you in my prayers.