Author: OJ Rivera

(May 27, 2016)

When I lost it, yeah you held my hand
But I tossed it, didn’t understand
As I dove into the waterfall
[Geronimo by Sheppard]

Believing in God’s plan and presence in my life has always been easy when things went according to plan. But what happens when things get difficult? When I slowly become overwhelmed by the circumstances surrounding me? When I feel as if I can’t do it anymore?
I shut down.

This past weekend I served at the CFC Eastern Regional Conference for the creative of Talk 5. During the time of preparations leading up to the conference, everything was going well. Practices were productive, the creative had become what I envisioned and I was satisfied. But during the conference itself, everything came crashing down. I was called to do things time and time again eventually feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, and by Saturday night I asked myself, “Why did I say yes to all of this, and why do I keep saying yes.”

Why do I keep saying yes?

Simply put, because that is my response to God, a response of faith and belief that this is where God is calling me. That in these difficult moments,  where I find myself left out on a high cliff, I will take that leap of faith.

God doesn’t want our lives to be lived out of convenience, that everything works out the way we want. Rather, he calls us to serve in times where we don’t think we can go any further or we think we have nothing left. Because it is in those times of despair, doubt, fear, anxiety and uncertainty that we cling onto Him even more. Thus allowing the Spirit to fully work in our lives. So if it becomes too difficult, keep moving forward. If it’s overwhelming, keep going. God has great things planned for every one of us.

So cling onto Him as you take that leap of faith.

“Your faith is not measured by what you do in one day, but by how you strive towards eternity in His kingdom throughout your life.”
– Homily on December 1st, 2013.

AMDG.

(May 10, 2016)

Here I am on my macbook, writing my very first blog post. Typing a few words, deleting them right after. Typing full sentences, deleting them right after. What should my first post be about?!

Thoughts popping into my head. This should be a blog post to remember. I should sound all cool and stuff, like a professional writer. Demar Derozan playing horrible wouldn’t be a relevant topic. What if my grammar is poor?! GAHHHHHH.

I’m overthinking again.

Growing up, I’ve always been one to plan ahead, whether it be gauging how my actions would affect the other person, or how much trouble I’d be in with my parents. I’ve always tried to stay ahead of the game, that game which is called life. Always mapping out what would happen next based on certain scenarios, and trying for the best-case scenario for myself. As a result, I would measure up moments based on the result rather than the journey. And time and time again, I’d fail to appreciate the present moments… those moments of struggle, ache, pain, peace, happiness, and joy. It was as if I’d become like Agent 47 programmed to only care about getting the job done.

I’ve constantly prayed for the willingness to let God’s will be done, not realizing that God has slowly been preparing the story already. This entire year so far has been 5 months of taking leaps, diving into the stormy waters, and totally submitting everything to Him. This is something I’m not used, even writing blog posts is completely foreign to me. But that’s what makes this journey even greater, the Lord is calling me out more and more out of my comfort zone.

Joining the MV program wasn’t a pre-requisite for me to realize all of this. But rather, it’s a well-needed first step of many.

And so it begins, with step one.

“But You have given my heart more joy than they have when grain and wine abound. In peace I shall both lie down and sleep, for You alone, Lord, make me secure.”  – Ps. 4 : 8-9.

AMDG.