Author: Nica Agregado

The other day, I caught myself staring at a Eucharistic Minister (not for the reasons that you assume :P). I couldn’t take me eyes off him – he was very tall; he had dark curly hair, and he had an aura to him that made him look like some kind of angel (I honestly couldn’t even tell if he was male or female).  As he was distributing the Eucharistic, I noticed that he looked so intimately and intently in each person’s eyes and shared the Lord with so much joy – such an inviting gaze. I imagine that the Lord would probably have the same loving disposition. How delighted he must be when he is given the chance to be united with us and to shower us with his infinite graces! And how many times have I refused this loving invitation?

Lord, I approach you with so much hesitation because of my sinful nature, but I can’t help but feel that the feeling of unworthiness in itself is preventing me from approaching you without reserve and with true confidence.

All those times I’ve refused your personal invitation into your heart… For all the times I’ve failed to understand the remedy and healing that comes from receiving the Eucharistic for my weak soul. Lord, I want to accept every invitation that you ever extend to me, for I know that you are a God that does not seek a perfect disposition but a heart of good will.  Let my heart be one with yours.

A few weeks ago, I came across an old journal entry that listed some of my personal desires, and as I was skimming through it, I found a very interesting statement:

Desire: being one in the heart of Jesus.

To be perfectly honest, I had absolutely no recollection of writing this, nor did I even understand what I meant by this statement. I thought to myself, “What gives me the right to even write this if I don’t understand it?”

I asked the Lord to help me understand, and I didn’t notice it at first, but the Lord was slowly answering my prayer and unraveling himself to me.

It’s strange and a bit difficult to explain, but I found that, lately, I’ve been going through a lot of little trials throughout each day. Through these trials, I found myself turning to the Lord in a very special way: when dealing with difficult people, I’ve asked him to lend me his heart; after a bad day at work, I always ask him for consolation and rest in His heart; in the morning, I offer all the impending experiences of my day to His most Sacred Heart, and etc. No matter what, I always found myself turning to His Heart. And all these trials, that would have otherwise been excruciating, were filled with so much sweetness and love. I can slowly feel him showing me what it’s like to be one with his heart as he helps me to carry my crosses daily out of love for Him, with Him, and in Him.

I don’t think I could ever completely comprehend the fullness of his love, but I am certain of one thing: His heart will continue to become my strength, and His heart will continue to be my refuge. And through His heart my entire existence, even with all its imperfections, becomes sweeter and imbued with love.

There’s no heart I’d rather celebrate each day than yours.

As an educator, I wish to create an environment of respect, love, and inclusivity. It is my personal mission to make every student feel valued. I’m not there to instruct but to support.

This statement has always been my go-to answer in every school-related interview. Looking back, I’ve always compartmentalized my goals and visions, depending on what area of my life I was experiencing. When I think of my life in the community and my life as an educator, I’ve always felt that both lifestyles were so different.
Recently, a few of us sisters came together to share our “crazy dreams” for the community. Everyone had great ideas and I remember just sweating from nervousness because I had no idea what my own crazy dream was. In all eleven years of being in this community, I don’t think I’ve ever had a crazy dream. Out of desperation, I thought of my own aspirations as an educator and how I could easily apply it to my service in the community. In the end, I shared my go-to “teacher answer” (see above lol), and soon after, I felt that I was very disingenuous in how I had answered the question. However, when I think of recent events, I realized that this experience was really just another way for God to expose my heart and place it in front of me.

At the recent NALS, I was given a glimpse of the “bigger picture” and what it was like to be one in the mission. In coming together as North America, I saw a true community; I saw a community that supported one another; I saw a community that truly valued one another in the mission, and I saw a community that was united through the love of the Lord. I hadn’t realized it, but my crazy dream was painted right before my eyes. I witnessed the loving, inclusive, and supportive community that I had always envisioned as an educator and saw it manifest in the mission.

In seeing this, I realized that there are still so many desires in my heart that the Lord is waiting to unveil. I thank the Lord for instilling me with the heart of an educator and revealing desires within my missionary heart – desires that were waiting to be discovered.

Be it as an educator or a missionary, I want nothing more than to spread the love of the Lord and to make every single person feel loved and valued <3

Happy belated feast day of St. Therese! You know, it’s kind of funny. Growing up, I was quite familiar with St. Therese, but I’ve always tried to steer clear of her. I’ve always been a bit of an annoying “hipster” when it comes to choosing patron saints for myself. I used to always try to find more obscure or lesser-known saints, and St. Therese, being one of the “hotties” of the saint world, wasn’t on my radar. (I know. Who do I think I am?! LOL)

Seeing as September/ October is the time of deliberation, I’ve dedicated a Little Flower Rosary Novena to all of our personal discernments as potential missionaries. To be honest, I only felt it was the right time to pray this novena for the simple fact that St. Therese is the patron saint of Missionaries. At first, I really didn’t put much thought into it.

However, in the thirteen days of praying this novena, I’ve come to know and understand exactly why my soul chose to plead for her guidance, for she is one of the most perfect examples of how to strengthen and prepare one’s heart. I’ve received numerous affirmations from her through my fellow sisters, my prayers, and my readings, so if I were to summarize what her intercession has done for me, I can summarize it in five simple words:

For the love of Jesus.

In her life, everything St. Therese had ever done was simply for the love of Jesus, no matter how small. This purpose is so simple, yet it so strongly embodies the disposition that we should have in our hearts: the disposition of humility and obedience.

Humility: Not everyone is destined to do great things, but everyone has the capacity to do things for the love of the Lord, no matter how small the task. At the end of the day, what matters is not the magnitude of the task nor the title that we assume, but the love we put forth. So fulltime or not, we are destined for greatness… in love ☺

Obedience: I can think of no greater incentive for obeying, other than for the simple fact that we do it for the love of The Lord. If we have the Lord so deeply rooted in the center of our hearts, each “yes” we make to The Lord will be a “yes” that is made beautiful. ☺

I thank Mama Mary and St. Therese for being my greatest intercessors and examples in my journey of discernment. Thank you for asking the Lord to prepare my heart.

Let us continue to pray for one another’s journey with the Lord!

Happy discernment everyone! <3

St.Therese of the Infant Jesus, Patroness of Missions, pray for us!

“Slow me down, Lord!
Ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind.

Steady my hurried pace with a vision of the eternal reach of time.
Give me, amidst the confusion of my day, the calmness of the everlasting hills.

Break the tension of my nerves and muscles with the soothing music of the singing streams that live in my memory.
Help me to know the magical, restoring power of sleep.

Teach me the art of making minute vacations… of slowing down to look at a flower, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book.

Remind me each day of the fable of the hare and the tortoise that I may know that the race is not always to the swift, that there is more to life than increasing its speed.

Let me look upward into the branches of the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well.

Slow me down, Lord, and inspire me to send my roots deep into the soil of life’s enduring values that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny.

In Jesus’ name. Amen”

– Wilfred Arlan Peterson (Straight from the Heart)

Thank you Lord for granting me rest in the simplest of blessings.

I had the privilege of listening to a session given by one of the international council members of CFC, and as I listened to his session, I found myself being constantly reminded of my journey in this community.

This Tito (I don’t remember his name- please don’t kick me out of the MV program) spoke about the two primary motivations of service:

1. Commitment to service
2. Relationship with God

He explained that there is a tendency for those of us in the line of service to focus more on the work at the expense of our own relationship with the Lord – or even going as far as equating service to our relationship with God.

I personally know what it’s like to be “burnt-out.” I know what it’s like to constantly keep saying yes to service but never having any substance or desire behind that yes.

But when I look back on those days, I don’t think my service necessarily suffered from a lack of a relationship with God but from a very distorted perception of my relationship with him. Back then, service to me was ”His time” and my relationship with God was really the only time for me to “receive”. The fact that I felt this way made me think that I needed to constantly serve to be worthy of even receiving anything from the Lord, to the point that I had largely disregarded my own relationship with the Lord and labeled my service as being enough.

One thing that the Lord has taught me through this journey of discernment is that every encounter with the Lord is an exchange. No matter what, we are in a constant state of “giving” and “receiving” when we encounter the Lord. In every moment I spend with the Lord, be it service, prayer, or whatnot, the Lord is always eager to shower me with his infinite love and graces. In everything, the Lord asks us to give ourselves to him – even when we feel we have nothing to offer; even when all we have is our own existence and nothingness. It was only through embracing this that I was able to change the disposition of my heart from duty to desire for the Lord.

Even in those moments when I have nothing, I will continue to offer myself to the Lord in everything that I do. Because the Lord deserves everything <3

“…the people give time and they receive eternity; they give self-denial and receive life; they give nothingness and receive all.” – Bishop Fulton Sheen

The other day I went to confession, and the priest said something that really struck me. As part of my penance, he asked me to lift a prayer to those who share the same weaknesses as me.

Whenever I approach confession, I feel a great sense of joy in being reunited with our Lord. But I also thought: how great is the mercy of The Lord that he allows us to be united to souls all over the world, through both our own brokenness and healing!

I felt great joy praying for those souls, knowing that I completely understand them and share their weaknesses – knowing that my own simple experience of healing can also be a source of healing for souls all over the world.

Lord, your love truly knows no limits! Teach us to always have confidence in your most infinite and loving mercy <3