Author: Michael Rodas

O God, give me courage to face difficult challenges.
Give me courage to love when i’m tempted to be indifferent, to forgive when i’m tempted to hold a grudge, to help those who ask for nothing, to serve those who have nothing to give in return, to fully invest prayer and time in those i’m called to make room in my heart for.
Give me courage to live the life I am called to.
Grant me courage that comes not from me but only from your unwavering, never-failing grace.

Amen

Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us.
Totus tuus

Over the weekend I had the opportunity of attending a three-day two-night retreat run by the archdiocese. Friday evening I arrived at the venue with my packed bag about to open the door to the registration area when discomfort overcame me, telling me that I shouldn’t be there. 1) I felt as though I really had no reason to be at the retreat. 2) I felt that my time which would be used over the weekend would be better spent focusing on service responsibilities.

I was very discomforted so I decided to called a wise brotha to ask what I should do. Long story short, I stayed out of practicality (venue was far, nothing extreme to lose, might-as-well kind of attitude haha). That night before sleeping I really pondered upon why the Lord is making me stay. And he was pretty clear haha! I flipped to a random page in the Bible (scriptural roulette I believe it’s called lol), and I saw a verse that I had highlighted a long time ago. From the Gospel of Mark: “The apostles returned to Jesus and, told him all that they had done and taught. And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while.” I giggled a bit and said “hahaha okay.”

The Lord wants me to rest. It all came together when I continued to reflect.

Coming into the weekend, as unoccupied as my schedule seemed to me, I was quite busy. In retrospect I was also trying to make myself even more busy because I’m not working at the moment. This was to the point where I questioned whether or not I was really being excellent and putting Christ in everything I do. Also, this is was the first time I’ve ever chosen to attend a retreat alone. In the past I’ve never attended any sort of retreat without any friends or anyone I was familiar with. In a sense I was sent to a “lonely place” and it felt like the Lord wanted it that way. So when I read and meditated upon the verse, it made sense to me that the Lord wants me to relax and to refocus on him.

Throughout the weekend I still wanted to leave (which affirmed me that He wanted me to stay all the more haha stubborn me), but I knew He wanted me to stay. It was a very blessed weekend. I strongly felt as though the Lord pamper me and allowed me to rest alone with Him. I ate delicious food three times a day, got to meet different faces of Christ in other God-fearing men, had my own dormitory with its own bathroom, shower, table (I was honestly so happy hahaha), hiked while witnessing the Lord’s beautiful art in His creation, celebrated Mass every day, and did a rosary walk. I think my most treasured moments were with the Blessed Sacrament. I really loved this retreat because there was a 24/7 Adoration chapel on the floor below me. So most of my time was spent there, sitting with the God of the universe who wanted to love me. So I just let Him love me 😀

On the last day the Lord just reminded me through the Gospel, that He will not only always be there for me so I can rest in Him but that He wants me to rest in Him frequently (Matthew 11:28-30). My experience brought me to the realization that rest is necessary and that’s what he wants me to do as things begin to become busier for TNC.

An awesome story that caught my attention about conversation between a convicted Catholic and a priest:
Dude: “If the devil is working all the time 24/7 without rest then I too, should be working all the time against the devil without rest.”
Priest: “Really?”
Dude: “Yes!”
Priest: “Well if you are working all the time then you’re just like the devil.”

Hahaha! Time to sleep. JK. Praise the Lord!

Queen of Peace, pray for us. Jesus, God of peace, have mercy on us.
Totus Tuus

“Behold, I go forward but He is not there, And backward, but I cannot perceive Him; When He acts on the left, I cannot behold Him; He turns on the right, I cannot see Him, but He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” – Job 23:7-10

At times, I may be far from You, but You are always near me. I will always hope through that. Keep my heart and direct it O God. Refuge of Sinners, continue to hold my heart close to your Son’s.

Totus tuus

 

I was recently blessed with the an opportunity to hangout with a brother and we decided to make frozen custard with a new ice cream machine their family purchased… And it didn’t taste bad lol. The taste was there but the consistency of it was not what was expected. In our attempt, I remember how much effort we had to exert to make it the best frozen custard we can make. We tried fairly hard even though it was the easiest recipe to make on the recipe list. We had all the proper ingredients, utensils, measured everything down to the teaspoon, and followed the instructions exactly as written up to the churning point (haha). When it came to churning the mixture, we even churned it a bit longer to make sure it was all goooooood to goooo. When I saw the final product, I was kinda confused and thought “that does not look like ice cream.” But it did taste good. We decided to let it freeze in the freezer, but even after it didn’t look the way we thought it should look.

The entire story reminds me of how the Lord created me. I know I’m not God but I know for sure he created me intricately, unique and with so much love. It boggles my mind knowing that we tried so hard to make ice cream from a simple recipe and could not do it properly, yet God creates a human being every day perfectly.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; that I know very well” Psalm 134:14

He really is great and unfathomable. It brings me great joy knowing that He has invested more than I can imagine into creating each human being. I, along with everyone else is wonderfully made. It teaches me that each human being is delicate and worth something. I think something wonderfully made by God the Father means something dear to him. Something worth loving and even dying for. And the God-Man has affirmed me of that by  seeing past my sinfulness and shame to see His beloved and accepting death for me on the cross. And it got me thinking more, do I see the beloved in God’s beloved? Do I love the poor, the rich, my family, non-believers, or His persecutors? If I do not see every person as Christ sees them, His beloved, then how can I say that I love God when my real love for Him is reflected in the way I love everyone.

Mother, show me how to see as you see Christ. Show me how to love as you loved Christ

Totus tuus

I’ve been finished school for a month now and I’ve been blessed with so much time to give myself in service to the Lord while looking for a job. I understood that with a great amount of availability within my schedule, the Lord will ask much of me. Recently I began to ponder what the Lord’s asked of me and unfortunately I let the magnitude of responsibilities aggravate me, so much that I started to feel very anxious. To me, this was not good because within less than 6 hours I would be on a ferry to Victoria for a core household and I didn’t want to come with a heavy and selfish heart. I would wanted to come with a heart eager to give.

Slowly God’s grace began to work in me as He allowed me to recall His providence and faithfulness. In His providence and faithfulness I was given the grace to trust Him. I felt more at peace but I knew the Lord still had more to reveal to me because I still had a hesitant heart. Throughout my stay in Victoria from Saturday to Sunday, the Lord really blessed me. I was able to really spend time with Christ. Not in the church or through the sacraments but within the household. I felt His humor while the brothers made bacon pancakes (we greased the pan with bacon grease). I felt His friendship and camaraderie when our household played in a park for 2-3 hours, listened to Christmas music, painted the chapter’s RYC banner and karaoked. I felt His joy every time the household laughed and smiled. I felt his cultivating love during the teaching and discussion. I felt his parental love through my couple coordinators. And I felt His longing for my heart every time I was shown sacrifice and mercy.

I remembered St. Peter and his experience of when the Lord came to him walking on water during a storm. After St. Peter fell Christ picked him up, brought him back to the boat, then he and his household just worshipped Christ. I bet they had good times right after jokin’ with Peter about what just happened hahaha!

This entire experience has shown me that when I doubt, Christ points me toward my household. Because His love through the household gave me strength and reminded me that the household is always a place where I will encounter Him. It will always be a place where I can be shown joy and love. It will always be a place where I receive comfort and affirmations from the Himself. Comforter of the Afflicted, please lend me your heart.

Totus Tuus

When I say “yes” a challenge is given to me. Be it a friend, household head, a new job or even pursuing a new career. Although the service may be specific to me I will always need help. Always. Just like mother Mary when she said yes she did not bear her mission alone. She had Joseph with her and she probably sought encouragement, comfort and prayers from Elizabeth when visiting her. Just like Mary I understand how I have survived seemingly impossible situations… With the help of God and with the help of others. How can I rely on only myself when the Lord has given others around me with greater capabilities and faith to help me? How can I be so selfish to withhold the Christ in them that is crying out to help me? I will always need support, I will always need guidance, and I will most definitely always need prayers.

Father grant me the humility and grace to ask for prayers.

Totus tuus

I had the opportunity to make my way to Vancouver Island for Victoria’s camp, by myself in a section where I can view the vast beauty of God through the window. The waves of the sea, the birds flying, the hills and folds of mountains, the blue sky, the clouds, the sunshine and the small islands are all things I was blessed to behold. Then I just began thinking of how great, mysterious and creative our Creator is. Then I began thinking of how great he has been in my life. At the same time, I was listening to a music playlist I haven’t listened to in over a year which include were, “Came to the rescue”, “Rhythms of Grace”, “None but Jesus”, “I Will Exalt you”, and “The Stand”.

I began to think of God’s great love for me because I was thinking “even this huge ocean doesn’t compare to His love.” Then I began to think of how He loves me and how much He’s blessed me. And I couldn’t believe it. It’s hard to believe that the Lord loves me so much even though I am so unworthy, through all the hurts I’ve caused Him and to his people. His mercy is unfathomable. I can’t believe He knows all the things I’ve done wrong yet chooses to let me take my next breath. On top of that, I can’t believe He’s blessed me and continues to bless me with so many people that love me and care for me and a community that accepts. All of these are gifts I have failed to recognize and appreciate in the past and probably will continue to in the future. But He still loves me.

He really wanted to reflect and meditate because for some odd reason “Rhythms of Grace”, repeated twice during the time I was in deep reflection after the playlist repeated several times. How providential haha! As it is sung in the song, no eye has seen no ear has heard the depths of His love, no mind can fathom the love He deserves and how great He is. My eyes were filled with tears of joy. It was so hard to hold back in a ferry hahaha!

I know He allowed for this to happen just so I can be filled with love. I thank the Lord that He gave me that opportunity to appreciate and be grateful for everything, because without that opportunity I don’t think I would have been properly ready to serve. How can I love others if I don’t let myself be loved? How can I let the Lord’s grace overflow onto others if it is not overflowing within my heart? How can I give something that I don’t have? My heart was filled with love and joy looking forward to sharing that love and joy to those at the Victoria camp. In those moments I have never felt so loved in my life. I was made ready to love at that time because I was full of Love Himself. Praise God!

Totus tuus