Author: Michael Rodas

“A true missionary… never ceases to be a disciple, knows that Jesus walks with him, speaks to him, breathes with him, works with him. He senses Jesus alive with him in the midst of the missionary enterprise. Unless we see him present at the heart of our missionary commitment, our enthusiasm soon wanes and we are no longer sure of what it is that we are handing on; we lack vigor and passion. A person who is not convinced, enthusiastic, certain and in love, will convince nobody (266). ” – Pope Francis

Mary Help of Christians and St. Paul, pray for us.

Totus tuus

My Lola Mary, and I were on our way somewhere that required a long drive and I remember she asked me if we can do the Rosary. Immediately after we made the sign of the Cross, my Lola started listing out prayer intentions in great detail, “Lord please provide care for (name) and her high blood sugar. (name) and his poor health. Mike to have a job soon… etc”. I remember her praying in detail for family members struggling in the Philippines, and for people I don’t even know. I was shocked, inspired and in awe of her long list detailed prayer intentions that went on for a good 2-3 minutes.

My Lola is 90 years old. I’ve taught her how to access her picture gallery on her cellphone with one click, and program the television to TFC (Filipino channel) when its on a different channel at least half a dozen times each in the past year. These all tell me that my Lola’s memory isn’t as good as it used to be. BUT when it comes to prayer intentions, she has them engraved in her heart and can recite them easily if requested. This tells me so much about my Lola and how much she loves, and how full of the Holy Spirit she is. To do something as simple as listing prayers, which for her intellectually faded state I’d think is extremely difficult.

My Lola loves and desires to love those around her with great detail. So much that she lists these prayers everyday. How much more does the Lord love me? One who is Omniscient and Love Itself. One who is desiring me every moment and not just a day at a time. It’s unfathomable to me how great in detail the Lord loves or desires to love me. I can’t imagine how much He is hoping for me, fighting for me to be with Him, sending me so many graces just so i can say “yes” to being loved by Him.

Thank You God for loving and desiring to love me so much. Thank You for giving my Lola Mary to be an example of what it means to be a prayer warrior that prays unceasingly.

Mother Mary, please dispense the graces to whatever details of my heart which need to receive God’s love, and grant me the graces to pray for others like you do.

Totus tuus

At Pacific Region’s weekend retreat, we were able to reflect on the past year and its victories and struggles. A very common theme among the each person’s sharing, including me, was it was a year of great suffering, of stretched and expanded hearts. Praise God. Then we reflected on next year’s upcoming theme of “Love More”. “How is the Lord calling me beyond my mission? How is the Lord calling me to love until it hurts?” After reflecting on the past year and how I felt the Lord was calling me through suffering, He instructed me to do something which opened the floodgates of my fear: “You have suffered well for Me, but now I want you to die to yourself.”

When I heard those words from Him, my heart was shook with so much fear as a recollection of struggles flooded my mind. Admittedly, this year of suffering was very hard for me, and when the Lord revealed His message for me to die to myself, it was hard for me to accept. Because, thinking that if I just went through a year of suffering where I asked the Lord “what more do you want from me,” so many times, I can’t imagine how it would be if He wants me to die. At this point I was overwhelmed, stubborn and blinded by my own selfishness. I saw discomfort, helplessness as I forgot to see the greatness of God throughout the year in ALL aspects of my life.

Man, am I so selfish. My own selfishness brought me to tears because I couldn’t bear the thought of feeling hurt, pain, and loneliness, and not just through suffering, but through complete surrender in death. My own selfishness desired comfort, security an easier path. I realized I’m desiring the exact opposite of what I desired and prayed for when entering the Mission Volunteer program– the narrow gate. And my selfishness tempts me to take the wider gate.

As I figured out my own pride and selfishness taking over me, I reflected on the past year. From there came peace and hope because I realized there was no reason for me to be scared, because Christ showed His faithfulness to me from this past year. In my suffering He blessed me a hundredfold and kept me close, especially through Mother Mary. He has lifted me up time and time again and I know this year and for the rest of my days He will keep lifting me up no matter how stubborn, selfish or ignorant I am. Although I am overwhelmed by His message to me, I am affirmed that He wants me to die to myself so that I can belong to Him. I am affirmed that this ache in my heart is a result of my selfish hand resisting to submit my Heart to His mighty and gentle hand. I am affirmed that by whatever death the Lord is calling me to will lead me to a greater union with His Sacred Heart and mother Mary’s Immaculate Heart. I am affirmed that I am loved!

Lord I realize how much you desire me, so much to strip away all of my selfishness and pride to make me a saint. I am still scared of what is to come but I ask You to strengthen me through your Mother. Overwhelm me with Your love and Mercy, O God.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus have mercy on me. Immaculate Heart of Mary pray for us.

Totus tuus

This past week the Lord reminded me that He will continue to love me no matter what. Even if I desire not to be loved, He will still love me. Even if I forget to love Him, He will remind me of His love for me. Even if I deny His love, He will pour His abundant love so much more on me. I don’t expect to be loved by anyone because I know I am loved by Love Himself. But, He shows me that He loves me so much that He’ll even love me through the people He’s placed in my life. He will somehow use people, places or things to tell me “I love you, Michael.”

Thank you God, for never ceasing to love me. Cause of our Joy, pray for us.

Totus tuus

I went to Mass recently, and while waiting for my turn to receive communion there was something unusual that I witnessed. After a little boy received communion, he ran away excitedly with a huge smile on his face. Lol! Seeing that made me smile and brought me great joy.

I have no idea where he ran to because he ran out of the church hahaha. Maybe his family was seated in the hall outside the church. I didn’t know exactly what he was happy about, It could have been many things. Maybe he was excited he’s going home soon, or he received something cool from his parents before Mass or that he just received God during Mass. All I know is that the little boy was excited and joyful and seemed like he wanted everyone around him to see that he was happy and share in that joy.

The Lord told me through that little boy’s actions and emotions that after receiving His Son at Mass, I should always be outwardly excited, happy, and joyful to be and bring  the joy of Christ wherever I go especially after Mass! I should be overflowing with joy in my body as I am in my soul that it overflows among everyone I encounter. Praise God for that little boy 😀

Cause of our Joy, pray for us!
Totus tuus

“This does not mean that he who has found Mary by true devotion will be exempt from crosses and sufferings. Far from it; he is more besieged by them than others are, because Mary, the Mother of the living, gives to all her children portions of the Tree of Life, which is the Cross of Jesus.” – St. Louis Marie de Montfort

Give me courage to allow the Tree of Life grow in me. Gate of Heaven pray for us.

Totus tuus

What spoke to me in today’s Gospel was about suffering. Jesus showed his disciples that He must suffer greatly. Peter rebuked Him. Jesus said get out of my way you’re not thinking like God, you’re thinking like a human.

With that part of the Gospel I’ve come to believe even more that the act of accepting suffering is divine. A life of embracing suffering is a life full of the divine One. I think when we embrace suffering we participate in His greatness and His divinity. It’s because satan does not want me to become more divine, more like God! Satan really is smart, to disguise suffering as something so dreadful, tiring and agonizing. It’s no wonder I’m tempted so much to avoid and run away from suffering to choose comfort and what’s easier. But what a beautiful path the Lord has shown us, where divinity awaits us in suffering. What a challenge it is to become holy, to embrace suffering every moment of every day, to take up my cross daily! But I guess it’s only expected from a divine challenge, right? Hahaha!

House of Gold, pray for us
Totus tuus