Author: Miguel J. Javier

Prayer of Surrender and Generosity

Years ago when I was in despair, a sister in Christ, Catherine Quinto (now a nun), sent me two prayers that became very dear to me, even to this day.  I hope these prayers help you as much as they have helped me.

Both are by St. Ignatius of Loyola.

Prayer of Surrender

Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more.

Prayer of Generosity

Lord, teach me to be generous. Teach me to serve you as you deserve; to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and not to ask for reward, save that of knowing that I do your will.

Amen.

 

The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic 2/4 – Study

Growing up, I was never a studious person. Studying felt like a punishment. All I wanted to do was play outside, play video games with my neighbour, or just do nothing. I didn’t like to study because I despised reading. I would only read if I had to read because of book reports and lessons from a textbook. I would skip paragraphs and pages just to get to the end of the book faster. When it came to reading and studying, I always looked for the shortest, easiest way possible and do the least amount of work. It wasn’t until I started asking questions about life and my faith that I began to appreciate the value of reading.

I guess the desire to read came at the same time I was maturing as a person. I started asking questions like who am I? Why am I here? What’s the purpose of life? Why am I Catholic? What does it mean to be Catholic? Who is Mary? Does God really exist? Who is Jesus, really? Why should I care about others? Why is there so much suffering in the world? Why do I suffer? What’s the point of service? And many other questions. I didn’t ask these questions all at once, but few by few. Slowly and gently, the Lord helped me and continues to help me find answers to the questions I had and still have. I realized that all these answers could be found if I truly sought them by using the intellect the Lord gave me. Thus started my love affair with amazon.com.

However, before reading books from amazon, I started with the New Testament. I thought to myself, if I was going to start somewhere, might as well start with the words of Jesus. What actually urged me to read the New Testament was a recent break up during that time. I had been in a serious relationship and when it ended I was lost and confused. My friends would give me advice but nothing seemed to stick. I finally gave up and surrendered. I told God that I would give Him a chance to speak to me so I picked up this Bible I received when I joined Kids for Christ  back in 1996. I never read it once since my Kids Camp graduation and only started reading it 10 years later. God is funny. Long story short, it took me only two weeks to read it because I couldn’t put it down! Every word felt like it was jumping off the pages and I never felt that before by just reading something. Every time it was Jesus speaking, it felt like He was speaking directly to my heart and mysteriously answering the questions I had that came from deep wounds. I experienced  indescribable consolation and when I finished reading the New Testament, I felt like a different person.

After the Bible, the Lord led me to rediscover my faith and learn about who I am and Who He is through reading and studying. Here’s a list of the books that initiated me on the path of life-long study (chronological order):

The books mentioned are just the few that really started my journey. I highly recommend reading more from those authors to learn more about the faith. I also hope that you find your favourite authors. Everyone has a different style. Matthew Kelly is great if you’re just starting off. He is very practical and his style is conversational and very easy to read but still packed with enough to chew on.

The beauty of our faith is that it is so rich, that’s why it’s described as a banquet. We are privileged to have the fullness of Truth and we have 2000 years of resources to learn from; from Jesus, to the Apostles, the Saints, Popes, great Holy Men and Women of God, and so many contemporary authors and individuals who truly have a gift of teaching the faith. Let’s take advantage of these opportunities and allow the Lord to feed us with Truth. Our souls truly long for it. Let us study and read for the sake of loving God and loving our neighbour to the fullest capacity that He has created each of us. Let’s study for the sake of a better witness to the joy of the Gospel.

“You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working, and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves.”
–St. Francis de Sales

 

The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic 1/4 – Prayer

According to Matthew Kelly, the four signs of a dynamic catholic are Prayer, Study, Generosity, and Evangelization. I haven’t read the book yet but I’d like to share some of my personal reflections on the four signs. In this blog I will focus on Prayer and will share my reflections on Study, Generosity, and Evangelization on subsequent blogs.

1. PRAYER

Of course this is number one. Prayer has to be the most important aspect of a Christian. Prayer is our communication with the Lord and the way of being in constant communion with Him. St. Therese of Lisieux said, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” Benedict XVI also reminds us that “the Fathers of the Church say that prayer, properly understood, is nothing other than becoming a longing for God.” I think what’s important to get from this is that prayer is not complicated. It is simply becoming a longing for God.

Included in prayer is fasting and alms-giving, both which are meant to direct our heart and mind to God. When we fast, it is not about looking gloomy and making sure everyone knows we’re fasting. It’s about getting rid of all of that self-love and focusing on God’s love, which fills us with joy. Also, we shouldn’t boast about our giving alms, whether it be materially, morally, or spiritually. The Lord tells us “when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,  so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Mt 6:3). Again, it’s all about the Lord. It’s all about being more intimate with Him and yearning for His reward and His approval. We should want to please only Him.

We also can achieve intimacy with the Lord through reading of the Scriptures. This is also where we are fed the bread of life. The Lord speaks His Truth and His Word to us through the Sacred Scriptures, and we truly encounter Jesus in it. St. Jerome aptly put it, “ignorance of scripture is ignorance of Christ.”

Availing the Sacraments is another essential way of prayer. If praying is like drinking from the fountain of mercy and grace then participating in the Sacraments is like swimming in an ocean (even this metaphor is lacking ). It is God’s way of pouring upon us His graces in super abundance.

Prayer is our starting point and the entire journey. A dynamic Catholic is one who never stops longing for the Lord, and who points his desire for love to God’s agape love for it to be completely satisfied. Our source and strength to do anything good and pleasing for the Lord can only come from a life of prayer.

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” –John 15:4

This Child

My mom and I at my baptism. Sorry for the bad quality!
My mom and I at my baptism. Sorry for the bad quality!

When I was a little kid, I found comfort and security in my mother’s arms so much that I  couldn’t sleep unless I I was resting in the softness of her skin. I felt like no one could harm me, I guess you could say I felt invincible. When I was scared or felt at danger, I always went to her. Just being near her was enough to feel completely at peace. I couldn’t explain it and I didn’t bother trying to think why I was at peace, I just let myself be at peace when I was with her.

As I reflect on this, I learn a little bit more what it means to have child-like faith, and the meaning behind the words of Jesus when He said “truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt. 18:3).

The Lord is reminding me to be like how I was when I was a child. I should never stop being a child when it comes to my relationship with Jesus and my Mother Mary. Being an adult, I might feel like I can protect myself physically and that I’m pretty self-sufficient. However, when it comes to my spiritual life, I know nothing. I am like a child all over again, not knowing many things, only knowing I need help. I need to depend on my Father and Mother for protection, nourishment, comfort, guidance, and growth.

As a kid, when I was sick, I didn’t know what could make me better. I depended on my mother’s remedies and her consultation with my doctor. I feel like that’s what Mama Mary does for me. She knows my spiritual sickness and provides the necessary remedies. She brings me to the Physician of my soul, Jesus Christ, and tells Him of my sickness. The Doctor listens to Her because He knows that She loves me very much and would like to see me get well. I cannot get spiritually well, unless I give myself to my Mother, and allow Her to take care of me.

Heavenly Father, help me to always recognize that I am truly a child in my spiritual life. That I know nothing at all—only that I need You, I need Your help, Your presence, and Your graces. Humble me, Lord, that I may be able to surrender my life into the hands of the Mother you have given me, to take care of me in every way.  Amen.

Upward Spiral

Two years ago when I started FTPW, I couldn’t imagine the year ahead. I had a feeling it would be an adventure filled with relationships and mystery. When that year ended, I was astounded with the journey the Lord took me on. I felt like I experienced more than the average person would in a lifetime. I couldn’t even fathom how the Lord could top it, but He did the following year. I was reminded that when it comes to journeying with God, there will always be mystery, but in that mystery there is unending beauty and love. This journey has been for me, an upward spiral and ups and downs but drawing nearer to God.

I’m very excited for this year in terms of the mission and my relationship with the Lord. He has been faithful in the last two years and never ceased to amaze me. The Lord reminds me though, that this journey in the community is but the fruit of my journey in the Church. Just as our community has seasons, we follow the seasons of the Church. No wonder why the journey is so fruitful in the community—it’s because of the fruitfulness we share as His church, growing ever more as a living organism saturated with His graces.

We had just journeyed in Advent, then Christmas, and soon, we will enter ordinary time. I think ordinary time is a time to experience what real love is, that it is in the ordinary, non extravagant things, like a steady stream of water. It’s in our ordinary days and ordinary acts. It is God Who makes things great and extraordinary.

Heavenly Father, I praise You! May this year in mission and in the Church bring me closer to You. Give me eyes of faith and help me to see You in everyone and in every circumstance. I look forward to another year of adventure with You. Amen!

In the Darkness

1495617_10152069871078329_1282759230_oYesterday Toronto experienced one of the worst ice storms to ever hit. It was devastating and beautiful. Over 300,000 torontonians lost power, the streets were cluttered with fallen tree branches, and ice so thick you can literally skate on the roads filled the streets and sidewalks. The news was filled with warnings of treacherous conditions and strongly advised everyone to remain indoors. On the other hand it was very beautiful, like something I have never seen before. Everything turned into crystals. Every branch, fence, road, house, leaf, and every blade of grass glistened like a diamond in the light. It was fascinating.

The roads were so dangerous that my mom even considered not attending Mass which is a twenty minute drive in normal driving conditions. When I heard her, I sternly and lovingly said, “it’s the last Sunday of Advent. We have to go to Mass.” To which she quickly agreed! We decided to leave an hour early.

1509475_10152069856788329_1739881493_oThe ice was so thick that we couldn’t even leave the garage because of the steep decline. We actually caused a bit of traffic in the condo parking lot and I had to get out of the car to direct traffic to ensure the safety of everyone and proper flow (that was a first). We called security and they put salt to melt the ice, after which we all successfully got on the road. We couldn’t believe how dark it was driving to St. Joseph. It was a bit frightening because it was difficult to tell which was water and which was black ice. Most of the street lights weren’t working and the intersections were also not functioning so we had to treat them as four-way stops. My dad drove cautiously and slowly until we safely arrived at our destination.

Upon arriving at the parish we noticed all the lights were turned off so we thought they cancelled Mass. My mom asked someone outside our window and they assured Mass is still on. After dropping my mom and sister off at the front, my dad decided to park behind the church but we couldn’t because the entrance to the parking lot was completely blocked with fallen branches. We ended up finding a parking spot, but what a journey it was just getting to church!

We were greeted by an usher holding a small light to help us navigate. The church was almost pitch black. I also used my cell phone’s flashlight to get to the pew. They told us that father wanted everyone to sit near the front, so we did. I have never attended Mass in such darkness before so I knew this would be a night I’d never forget.

When I knelt to pray I heard a voice say to me ‘Miguel, you’re distracted by your fascination with everything. Relax and listen to what I’m trying to tell you in this experience.” After praying, I became more focused and present. The Lord spoke to me throughout the liturgy and told me the meaning behind the things I was fascinated with. The things He revealed were so simple and beautiful. It has helped me to prepare my heart for Christmas and I’d like to share it with you as a humble gift.

The darkness of Toronto last night reminded me that Christmas is the time which we celebrate the Light which came in the darkness. God entered human history, human suffering, the human problem, in all of its devastation—He entered and brought Light into the midst of everything. This Light, like what happened in the church, brings us closer together. It gathers us in its warmth. The Light is Jesus Christ Who gathers His people to His heart and draws all things near to Him. Like Christmas day He comes into our hearts that is filled with much darkness. He comes into the darkness and gives us hope. This hope gives us joy, and it’s from this joy—from Him—we are called to celebrate on Christmas and live the rest of our lives!

Yesterday morning was filled with so much beauty from how the light reflected off everything. Yesterday night was filled with so much darkness with only a glimmer of light found here and there. However, wherever there was light, there could be no darkness because “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5)

May the Light of Christ shine in your heart and in your family always. Merry Christmas!

Mercy and Peace

The Lord revealed a simple Truth to me yesterday during Mass with Char while we were all praying and singing “Lamb of God.” When we all sang the last line “grant us peace,” that’s when He made it clear. He said “My merciful love grants peace.” So many things made sense the more I meditated on this.

It’s amazing how many times we beckon the Lord to have mercy on us during Mass. It is the only proper posture to have when knowing that soon we will be receiving the Body and Blood of Christ, the King of kings, and Lord of all. We all stand before Him great sinners and truly unworthy of approaching the Holy of Holies. We must totally rely on His mercy toward us if we would like to have peace in our hearts when receiving Him.

Moments before receiving the Holy Eucharist, and after praying the Lamb of God, we humbly say while kneeling, “Lord, I’m not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.” In this prayer we imitate the centurion who was the one who said this. His posture was that of complete humility, contrition, and faith. He knew the Lord would hear his prayer and be merciful to him, and because of that he had peace. A priest once told me that the word Jesus says that heals our soul is peace—the peace that only He can give. And this peace comes from His merciful love.

Whenever I feel like things are not going so well in my life, like being caught in a storm, feeling lost, confused, and being more prone to sin, it is because I stop relying and believing in His mercy. When I take my eyes off His merciful gaze, that is when I lose the peace in my soul. What usually helps is when I do a thorough examination of conscious while asking God to help me see my sins. It hurts but it is necessary. I praise God when I feel very sorrowful for the ways I offended Him. I then ask for the grace to have true contrition for my sins, and to help me repent. With this posture I go to Confession to receive total absolution and forgiveness of all my sins. That is when He restores that peace in my heart, and what helps me to be merciful to others. It’s a lot easier to be merciful to others when I realize how merciful God has been to me.

Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world, grant us peace. Amen.

Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us!