Author: Miguel J. Javier

Presentation to the Present

PresentMary

On Friday, November 21, the Church celebrated the Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. The first reading that day, from the Book of Revelations, spoke of John eating the scroll given by the Angel. He ate it and and described it as “sweet as honey” in his mouth but then was made bitter in his stomach, just as the angel said it would. After the first reading, the responsorial Psalm was “How sweet to my taste is your promise!” How truly sweet are the promises of God—how beautiful, true, and good they are. I hear His words with great affection and allow it to enter my life so sweetly, but the bitterness is not in His promises, it’s my stomach. It’s in my heart and my stubbornness to truly allow His words to take root and change me.

However, there is hope for me because Jesus is at work in me just how He was at work at the temple when He drove out the bitter money changers and all those who turned the house prayer into a den of thieves (Gospel reading). By my own sinfulness, disobedience, selfishness, and pride, I have turned by body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit, into a den of thieves. Because of this, what should be a house of sweet prayer and worship of God, has been turned into the worship of so many other things. Despite my sinfulness, my Lord Jesus heroically and fearlessly drives out from my heart what should not be there each time I present myself to Him.

The Feast of the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary reminded me that my posture should be like Her’s, that is, one of presentation to the Lord, Who is the gift—the present. To present myself to the Present is to allow Him to do what He wants to me, with me, and in me. It’s to allow Him to drive out the things that are hindering me from true worship of the one true God. It’s about being obedient to the Church and His Mother which He has given me, to make me pure and holy, without blemish. It’s to allow Him, by His workings through the Sacraments and every grace, to make me a saint.

May Your Word, O LORD, be sweet as honey in my mouth, and most especially in my heart. May I not be bitter in receiving Your Love and allowing it to transform me. Prune me, blot out my transgressions, and make me white as snow. Amen.

Act of Contrition

The Act of Contrition is such a beautiful prayer usually said in the confessional before receiving absolution. It has taught me and continues to teach me what repentance is.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for
having offended you, and I detest
all my sins, because of Your just
punishments, but most of all because
they offend You, my God, who are
all-good and deserving of all my love.
I firmly resolve, with the help of
Your grace, to sin no more and to
avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.

“O my God”

Repentance starts with focusing on Whom I’m deciding to turn to. It starts with God and an authentic movement in my heart of sorrow and contrition, recognizing Whom I have offended.

“I am heartily sorry for having offended you”

The word that always sticks out to me is “heartily.” It has to come from the core and depths of my heart! And I must recognize that I have offended the One who loves me as if I’m the only one to love. I have offended God Who is always faithful and always true to me but I still decided to offend Him.

“and I detest all my sins”

I’m reminded that to truly turn away from sin is to detest it. To hate it. I pray for the desire to revile my sins and feel disgusted by them.

“because of Your just punishments”

God is love, and love requires justice. That is why there has to be heaven and hell. It wouldn’t be love if I didn’t have the choice to choose not to love. The deathly consequences of sin is what I bring upon myself. I choose punishment and hell when I choose to sin. It shows I prefer something else than God, and anything else is death. Though, detesting sin because of His just punishments is imperfect contrition. It’s definitely a start, but I need to ask for the grace to have perfect contrition…

“but most of all because they offend You, my God, who are all-good and deserving of all my love”

This is perfect contrition, to be truly sorry for my sins because they offend my God who is all-good and deserving of all my love. How can I lash out on the One who loves me the most? God truly doesn’t deserve my infidelity when He is so faithful.

“I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace”

I firmly resolve. This is a matter that I should not take lightly. My attitude should not be “I’ll see what happens,” but “I firmly resolve.” The fact is that I have cut myself off from life and love. I have died a spiritual death. The death of deaths. Jesus died for me, I can’t be mediocre with what this means for me and what God has made available, namely, eternal life. Though, everything is in vain if not done in His grace. I must be humble and admit that I cannot stand for one second if not with the help of His grace. I cannot do any good thing if I don’t allow Jesus to mercifully do it through me. I could “speak with the tongues of men and angels, but if I have not love, I gain nothing. I am but a noisy gong or a clanging symbol.” Meaningless. I need His grace. It’s His grace that must firm my resolve and act through me on the road to repentance and healing.

“to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen.”

I must have the posture of St. Dominic Savio when he said “death rather than sin.” This is repentance: to have a total change in life, a complete turn around, from a sinner to a saint in the heart. With this line of the prayer, I must ask God to truly illumine my intellect to help me see how I fall so easily to sin so that I can have a battle plan in avoiding them. I must pray for the grace to nip sin in the bud rather than be foolish and dare to to wait for the temptation to fully mature by entertaining those incognito suggestions by the devil. Who am I to think I have the strength to go toe to toe with an ancient enemy who knows the inner workings of human nature; who is the father of lies and deceiver of hearts. I am nothing. I am weak, and my track record proves it. Only by the help of His grace and mercy, I need to avoid temptation even before it begins, and I must be scrupulous about it.

~~~

I really appreciate it when the priest gives me a difficult penance to do because I need to break out of the monotony of all my sins that has caused a hardened heart. I have realized that that first act of penance is but (and should be) the first act of many. It is only the beginning of the complete change in my life. It’s the first beginning of repentance. It’s scary to know that when I go to confession, the Lord is not asking me to “kind of” turn away from my sins, and only give Him back “some” of my heart. His love demands a complete turning away and a total surrender of my heart. My brokenness fears this because of my lack of faith. That if I give everything—truly everything to God—and if I choose to completely turn away from my sins with the help of His grace, then the doors of my heart would be truly open to His merciful healing presence, and my life would drastically change. Praise God though because I guess that’s the whole point.

“Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life.” –Benedict XVI

May St. Gerard Majella, patron of a good confession, be and pray for us in that confessional.

St. Gerard, Patron of a Good Confession,
who gave courage to souls whom fear and shame had overcome;
who gave sorrow to their hearts,
resolution to their wills,
truth to their faltering lips;
help me to make a good Confession.

Enable me to know my sins,
to be truly sorry for them,
and to be firmly resolved,
with God’s grace, never to sin again.

Help me to confess my sins humbly and sincerely,
to confess them in the spirit of faith,
as confessing them to Our Lord Himself.

Stand by me in this Confession, O gentle Saint,
an angel of God sent to free me from sin.

Amen. 

Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us!

My Head and Heart Immersion

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The Lake

From October 5 – 10 I had the privilege of attending the “Theology of the Body (TOB) I: Head and Heart Immersion” course at the Black Rock Retreat Centre in Quarryville, Pennsylvania. It’s the first course of three that goes over the entire Theology of the Body that St. John Paul II wrote just before his pontificate, that he shared during 129 wednesday general audiences in Rome. Our instructor for the course, Christopher West, has spent more than a decade studying this theology and has dedicated his life to proclaiming its message to the world. One of the ways he does this is through the catechetical Theology of the Body Institute which he co-founded, and through his evangelization ministry, The Cor Project. The TOB I: Head and Heart Immersion course covers only half of the content of St. John Paul II’s original Theology of the Body documents. Though it covered only half, I feel like the impact it has made on me and my fellow classmates will last for a lifetime.

The atmosphere of the course is meant to be like a “classroom in a retreat.” Daily activities consisted of praying the Liturgy of the Hours, Holy Mass, Confession, adoration, meals, a couple of two hour sessions by Christopher West, and opportunities for Q & A and sharing our grace-filled experiences. The venue was located far from the city and hid delightfully within the woods. We were surrounded by nature trails and trees. Also, there was a wonderful lake (pictured above) that added to the retreat experience. Our “classroom” was actually a chapel because it contained the tabernacle with presence of the Blessed Sacrament. Yes, that’s right, we got to learn about TOB before the Blessed Sacrament. We spent nearly five hours per day in the presence of Jesus, soaking all He wanted us to learn and simply hear from Him. Our “classroom” and everything about the venue was awesomely conducive for reflection and immersion of the head and heart.

I had the pleasure of meeting many individuals from all across North America. My roommate, Bryan, is from Mystic, Connecticut and works at a Catholic retreat island! I also befriended many priests, religious brothers and sisters, fellow lay missionaries, youth ministers, mothers, fathers, YouTube musicians, a Lutheran pastor, and many others. There was about 90 of us. It was great to have met so many people in different walks of life. The diversity truly testified to the Truth of TOB and how it draws all peoples. We shared many experiences together and have vowed to say a prayer for each other every day. It’s amazing how I feel so connected to everyone and how assured I feel that we will all pray for each other.

The Lord spoke to us in many different ways but, of course, especially through Christopher as he taught us about the TOB. We were each given a course handbook that contains the entire outline of what was taught. Many of us were there to learn, but on the first day, Christopher lovingly and sternly told us that we shouldn’t be there to learn for the sake of teaching, but to listen for the sake of hearing the voice of the Lord and allowing Him to transform our hearts and speak to the very depths of our core. Heeding his advice, I put down my pen and opened my heart to the Lord. Emptied, He filled me. Vulnerable, He spoke in my nakedness.

I have returned feeling different. Renewed. Thirsting more. Loved.

There are many things I can say but at this time I’d like to share with you the main grace which I feel the Lord has given me. The Lord taught me how to pray. Now, more than ever, do I feel like the woman at the well. The words that have been reverberating in my heart have been “stay in the ache.” I’ve realized how easily I am not willing to stay in there—to stay thirsting and yearning for the Lord. I have settled too easily in satisfying that hunger in my heart with worldly lures and self-gratification. I haven’t truly had faith in the Gift of the Lord, but rather have grasped at fulfilling my own life. I have since learned to wait on the Lord, who truly loves me and will not leave me barren. At the story of the woman at the well, Jesus’ thirst preceded the woman’s thirst. Jesus asks me for a drink because He wants and thirsts for my love more than I for His. This is amazing. He asks me for a drink, then offers me to fill my well with water that will never run dry. He offers me a drink that would truly quench my thirst for every desire of my heart. Instead of trying to satisfy the ache on my own, I am inspired to stay in the ache and wait for the Lord. I want to long for Him, for prayer is nothing but making myself a longing for the Lord. Even if there are no words during the agony, I will make my longing and ache my prayer to my Lord Jesus Christ, the lover of my soul.

During adoration on the wednesday, I felt the Lord speak to me. This is what He said:

“In Your Ache”

Stay with Me in your ache
Let Me expand your heart
In your suff’ring and pain
I will never depart

You might feel I’m away
You might think that I’m gone
My child, I’m here to stay
I’ve been here all along

Don’t listen to the lie
That My Gift will not come
I’m yours and you are Mine
You always have My love

So long as you abide
So long as you don’t leave
Trust Me with your whole life
Persevere, and you’ll see

You will see Me in all
Your joy will be complete
If you just heed My call
In your ache–stay with Me

Amen.

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear

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There have been numerous times in my life when I was affirmed that my angel was with me. I’ve gotten into close calls on the road where either I would stop at the very last second, or somehow I reacted quickly enough to avoid a potentially fatal accident. One time I was driving with a friend on the highway, going 120 kmph on the fast lane in Toronto. Suddenly, my engine spewed out a cloud of smoke so thick that I couldn’t see ahead, then it locked itself, followed by my steering wheel. I could have panicked because of all the cars honking at me but instead a sense of peace came over my whole body. Some how my car graciously pulled over to the shoulder and came to a smooth stop. My friend, Mitch, and I looked at each other, speechless. All I was able to say at that moment was, “that was my angel, bro.” And he just nodded with fear and amazement.

It’s amazing to know that God has given each of us an angel who guards and protects us, and who lights our path. We are given one because because our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit—the very presence of God. In the Old Testament, angels protected the Holy Temple which contained the tabernacle, which contained the Holy of Holies. In a way, our very bodies are now that temple, thus we have angels by our side. This is not fiction and something merely imaginary, but a reality. We literally have an angel always with us but how much we experience the power of that angel depends on our humility.

Just like in today’s first reading, to each of us the Lord says,

“I am going to send an angel in front of you, to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared. Be attentive to him and listen to his voice; do not rebel against him, for he will not pardon your transgression; for my name is in him.”

“But if you listen attentively to his voice and do all that I say, then I will be an enemy to your enemies and a foe to your foes. My angel will go in front of you.”

(Exodus 23)

The Lord calls us to be attentive to our angel and to listen to his voice. If we do this with humility, then the Lord can truly protect us with His angels. In the Gospel reading today, the disciples asked Jesus “who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” (Mt. 18). Then Jesus explained to them that only those who are as humble as a child can be called great in His kingdom.

I’ve always imagined angels to be two things: a fiery protector, armed with heavenly armour and weapons, and a little baby. As a protector, our angels defend us against the demons who seek our ruin. As a baby or little child, he speaks the words of the Lord in a still small voice. We have to be careful that we “do not despise one of these little ones” (Mt. 18) for they constantly behold His face in Heaven. Jesus also said “whoever welcomes one such child in my name, welcomes me.” (Mt. 18). Let us not be afraid to welcome with open arms, the angel God has given to us.

We need humility to be able to hear the voice of the Lord through His messengers. They are truly here to light our path, guard our way, rule our lives, and guide us ever closer to the fullness of life in Jesus Christ.

So let us pray,

Angel of God,
my guardian dear,
to whom God’s love commits me here,
ever this day,
be at my side
to light and guard,
to rule and guide.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.

Amen.

The Love Triangle

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The title is a bit misleading because what I’m really referring to is the Pyramid of Intimacy, but the shape of the diagram really is a triangle. I think the first time I came across this diagram was in the YouCat which I believe was illustrated by Bill Donaghy, an instructor at the Theology of the Body Institute. It’s a wonderful illustration that clearly defines the proper steps of a long lasting relationship between a man and a woman, with sexual intimacy being the pinnacle—the ultimate gift and expression of true love (free, total, faithful, and fruitful), in a language that is very easy to understand.

It’s very unfortunate how the society we live in today has this pyramid upside down, and it’s no wonder then, how easily marriages and relationships topple over and crumble to pieces. It’s impossible for an inverted pyramid to stay balanced on its tip. It will fall. Drawing on this illustration, if ‘love’ begins with sexual intimacy even before friendship, then we shouldn’t be surprised when everything falls apart. It’s because there was no foundation of friendship—knowing each other better, knowing each other’s families, and so on. As it shows on the diagram, love doesn’t begin at sexual intimacy, it begins at friendship, and if we can truly start from there, then we would see a lot more stable and fruitful marriages. Friend-zone is the place to be if you’re looking for a substantial relationship that would be able to weather the storms and lead to real love, which is true love rooted in Christ. This is achievable through the time, tested, and true way of courtship.

Courtship is basically steps two and three (knowing you better, and knowing your family better), with the blessing of the sister’s parent’s to pursue. Why ask the parents for their blessing? Because if you truly love her, you will honour the ones who love her the most, and you will lead her to fulfill the commandment:

“Honor your father and mother that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” Ep. 6

If we honour each other’s parents we will live a long and prosperous life, and if we’re in it for the long run (which love should be!) then we need to strive to build a good relationship with each other’s families (most especially the parents) because they are the ones who will also love us for the rest of our lives.

By prayers and the guidance and strength of the Holy Spirit, a man and a woman are truly capable of authentic love. By His grace, we can reach the heights of that conjugal, life-giving act that expresses the love of the Trinity and renews the marriage vows between husband and wife, of being freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully each other’s.

The devil knows how great a gift sexual intimacy is. That’s why everything he does aims at distorting and tangling our understanding of our sexuality—as being made male and female, in the image and likeness of God.

We can prevent this from happening by allowing God to tell us who we are and not looking to the world to find our identity. How can we find our identity in a place we are not ultimately made for? It only makes sense to look to the Creator, the Designer, and the Author of our lives to discover our purpose and who we were created to be.

On the illustration above it is written,

“The task of every man is the dignity of every woman. The task of every woman is the dignity of every man.” –St. John Paul II

Let us first begin by discovering our worth and dignity on the Cross, then we will be able to truly see and love each other as we ought.

Amen.

Happy

“Happy are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the way of the Lord.” –Psalm 119

All of today’s readings were a needed reminder for me that true happiness is walking in the way of the Lord, keeping His commandments in my heart, and living it out with my life. I have fallen into the great lie too many times that living a life of righteousness and justice is gloomy and miserable, filled only with thorns and heavy crosses. Yes, there are thorns and crosses, but I can’t forget about the roses and the resurrection.

Happiness comes from being in the presence of Jesus. In today’s gospel He says, “my mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.” When we walk blameless in the Lord while doing His will, we truly live in His presence as His brothers and sisters; we truly live in relationship with Him and are able to call Jesus our brother and our friend. As Christians, this is what makes us happy.

The lives of the saints were filled with suffering but at the same time I think they were the happiest people that ever lived.

“Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it. I will keep your law continually, forever and ever.” (Psalm 119)

Amen.

Woman and Man

(Pope Francis on Marriage) “…a man and woman walking together, wherein the husband helps his wife to become ever more a woman, and wherein the woman has the task of helping her husband to become ever more a man.”

You would’ve thought that he would’ve said, “the husband helps his wife to become a better woman … a better man,” but he didn’t. He simply said “ever more a woman” and “ever more a man.” I think he was careful to say this to gently remind all of us that to be a “better” man or woman, one only needs to be who he/she is meant to be—a person created in the image and likeness of God. A husband and wife help each other do just that—to discover the masculine and feminine genius within each other.

For women, they help by allowing their husbands love and honour them as Christ loved and honoured His Church. For men, it’s laying down his life as Christ laid down his life for His Church, His bride. As one, it’s journeying wherein both are constantly encouraging and affirming each other of their growth as being ever more that man or that woman of God they were created to be.

He also mentions “walking together.” No one is ahead of the other. They are side by side, walking and not rushing the growth of love between them. Though it’s not a passive walk. It is a task, and the journey toward becoming a man/woman and helping each other must be intentional, so we make it our duty.

I look forward to this journey with my fiancé. I am definitely not the man who I feel God is calling me to be—not yet. I have a lot of work to do, and God has a lot of work to do in me. I’m grateful that He’s blessed me with a sister in Christ to help me be ever more a man.

Saints are those who became the man or woman God called them to be. I pray for all those already joined in marriage, that they may continue with great patience, to help each other become saints. Please pray for me as well.

Amen.